Planning to take my Life

[GambledEverything]

Hi All,

I came across this site today. I am so much depressed and have lost everything due to gambling. My wife has always supported me but now I dont have anything to live for.

I gambled all money I had in a span of year and took loans from a lot of friends and people. Now I cant repay any of them. I have told my wife today that I am planning to kill myself and she said do whatever you want. I would have really killed myself by now if I did not have two kids. My wife always supported me but I betrayed her. I cant concentrate on anything, work, family, anything. I am really thinking may be I can leave this world and get out o this debt.

[PurpleP]

Hi @GambledEverything,
I’m really sorry to read that things are so difficult for you at the moment. You’ve shown a lot of strength in coming to the forums and seeking help. I have sent you a PM but I hope reading through and getting support on this forum will give you more hope that things can change.

As a reminder, if you're concerned about your safety or you'd like counselling support, you can reach out to the following services:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467

Take good care of yourself today and please do reach out for support

[Lmk1998]

hey @GambledEverything i recently gambled myself down to to my last $5,000. I had $70,000 in my bank account 3 months ago and i understand how you feel. I've had many suicidal thought myself over the past 3 months and i have wanted to just give up my many times.

But i'm trying to take this situation as a way to better myself and focus on the things that really matter in life. I've come to learn that money comes and goes but you only have one chance at this life. I've thought to myself many times no one who care if i killed myself, but in reality it would effect so many people. I know at the moment your brain doesn't care but don't make a fatal decision with brain that isn't working.

Think about everything that you will miss out in the future.

[Chunkyquitter]

I have gambled everything a couple of times and stopping each time has enabled me to rebuild my life.

I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times years ago. And there have been numerous times I’ve thought of doing it again.

Only a few months ago I was standing 17 stories up deciding how I could make it look like a workplace accident so my family would get my death benefit from my super.

I’m glad I didn’t. It’s a long term solution to a short term problem, you can rebuild. Learn develop skills it empowering to get your life back and track and prove to yourself you’re not worthless. Which is exactly what gambling does and makes you feel.

What state do you live in? I’m happy to attend group gambling therapy with you if you need support. I’ve just started attending group meetings and have found the best thing I’ve ever done, you’re able to be truthful in front of people. Which feels really good, everybody listens to each other and it is all really relatable.

Join a group therapy or prove to your wife you’re worth supporting. Good luck you’ve taken the first step in the right direction by joining this group

[GambledEverything]

Hi @Lmk1998 ,

Thanks for your reply. My story is exactly the same. I lost over $80,000 in 1 year span. The issue is $50,000 is all debts. Debts from family and friends mainly.

Now I am not sure how I am going to repay all of them. Most of my friends are oversea. I feel ashamed that its time to return their money and I dont have anything.

All what is going into m mind is how can I pay off all this debt. I am stuck in this debt that I took from apparently everyone I know.

I am now searching for any charity or organisation who can help me pay all this money. I am willing to pay them in installments. Banks and other Lenders wont accept my applications due to all gambling transactions I have. I do not want to gamble again and I know gambling will only make me lose. But I already dont have anything else left. If I didnt care for my wife and kids I would have left a sorry message to all my friends and ended my life.

[GambledEverything]

Hi @Chunkyquitter ,

Thank you for your reply.

As I mentioned above my main problem now is the debt I have, I cant consolidate it and I cant find any loans. I am really helpless here and there is no way I can get any help in this.

I can stop gambling but all the debt I have is driving me crazy. I cant pay it and if my wife knows about it it will be a disaster (she gave me $13,000 previously and she doesnt have anything else too).

Sometimes I think it's better to leave and let her raise the kids alone. May be they will be better without me. I am in Sydney in the Northern Beaches.

I cant prove anything now. I am a loser and I cant get any help fom anywhere.

[AGHS]

Hey, things WILL get better. Just by posting on this forum is a positive step. Don't let gambling take your life....your children want and need you. You are the only father they will ever have. Don't let gambling take that away from them. Consider opening up to your friends and family and explaining to them the situation...yeah sure you will be embarrassed and all that stuff but you know it really helps to open up, and yes they may get angry or they might surprise you and offer you the support you need to beat this terrible addiction. Consider declaring bankruptcy......get some help for your gambling. There is life after gambling. Many of us have been in the same situation as you but we have allowed ourselves to get the help we needed and are able to live gamble free lives and recover from our financial situations. Please, do not take you're life over this, you are worth much more................... :)

[TheTeam]

Hi @Gambledeverything

I'm really sorry to hear that things continue to be so difficult for you and I'm glad that engaging with the forums has been positive for you. I have sent you a private message, which you can see in the top right corner of your screen.

- Ducky89

[Chunkyquitter]

Hey mate I used to live in sydney and had great success at the clinic attached to st Vincent’s hospital.

I would say as good as that was the key to quitting forever is to attend groups. It’s actually great to hear other people’s stories, some really nice normal people that have something in common. You can more truthful than you ever have it’s actually brings a sense of happiness.

Try it, as daunting as it feels to go to a group for the first time, tour first time is only once, after that it’s easy

[GambledEverything]

Hi @AGHS

Thanks for your reply and kind words. I am still addicted to gambling because I am trying to chase my losses. Yesterday night I had the worst fight with my wife and I had actually left home to do something to myself but returned thinking about the kids.

Thank you again. It feels good to talk to people. I would have declared bankruptcy if it was money of companies or banks but it is all money of friends and relatives who will never admit that this gambling is a problem. They will think I took money from them to play with it. I still cant find help or figure out what or how will I return money to people