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Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 10:16 pm
by Loveneverfails
I don't know how to change my user name as love has failed me continually over and over.
It should be "crushedbeyondbelief" as my husband of 25 years couldn't stop gambling for our whole marraige. He moved out 6 months ago, hit rock bottom and finally got some help and spent 5 weeks in a rehab place. He's been out for 5 weeks and apparently has not gambled or drank for 100 days and wants me to take him back. Is there hope? Because I don't think I could bear going through another traumatic experience if he ever relapsed. I just want stability and despite me being lonely, it's been great not having to take care of him and his issues and not sure if I can trust him again. I'd love to hear a "and they all lived happily ever after story" after rehab if it is at all possible.

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:32 am
by Ducky89
Hi @Loveneverfails , I'm Ducky89, one of the facilitators here on the forum.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time with your husband's gambling. What you're managing is so tough and there are no easy answers. Hopefully you're able to find a supportive community here on the forum and to hear about some strategies that other members have used when coping with a family member's gambling.

Take care of yourself <3

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:49 am
by sazr
Hi @Loveneverfails I am trying to get my brother to go to rehab but I don't know any places he can go. Would you be able to suggest any rehab places in NSW? And does medicare or health insurance cover this at all? I called the hotline but they didn't recommend any, they said rehab is more for drug and alcohol addiction not gambling which I find crazy theres not such services for gambling.

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 1:37 pm
by Calvin (facilitator)
Hi @sazr

There aren't any gambling rehabs specifically but there are gambling/financial counsellors that can be of great support.

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 1:22 am
by Chunkyquitter
I used st Vincent’s gambling help across the road from the hospital. They were great. Unfortunately I have relapsed and I quit again. But they were the first ones to be able to make me stop when I probably had never missed a day gambling for 4 years. I was chronic and had tried to kill myself a few times.

Good luck there is hope, people gamble caise they feel no worth imo. It’s a horrible disease but limiting their access to Money will help them: I have lied too many times and hidden money. Access to money without being accountable is the problem.

Anyone who truely wants to quit won’t have an issue with you being responsible for the money

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2019 10:49 pm
by How the F did I get here
sazr wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:49 am
Hi @Loveneverfails I am trying to get my brother to go to rehab but I don't know any places he can go. Would you be able to suggest any rehab places in NSW? And does medicare or health insurance cover this at all? I called the hotline but they didn't recommend any, they said rehab is more for drug and alcohol addiction not gambling which I find crazy theres not such services for gambling.
Hey sazr,

Years ago I rang a rehab place, and it was astronomically expensive it was like 20k for a couple weeks or something, and I was like what the heck I'm a gambling addict where am I going to get 20k from. The dude on the phone asked if I had family that could help lol that was about 15 years ago so things may have changed, I know there's a number of rehabs for drugs/alcohol which are either free or very cheap, but gambling rehab I'm not so sure. Actually I think John of God may offer something.
Seems a lot of rehabs are only for people that have money or their family.

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2019 11:01 pm
by How the F did I get here
Loveneverfails wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 10:16 pm
I don't know how to change my user name as love has failed me continually over and over.
It should be "crushedbeyondbelief" as my husband of 25 years couldn't stop gambling for our whole marraige. He moved out 6 months ago, hit rock bottom and finally got some help and spent 5 weeks in a rehab place. He's been out for 5 weeks and apparently has not gambled or drank for 100 days and wants me to take him back. Is there hope? Because I don't think I could bear going through another traumatic experience if he ever relapsed. I just want stability and despite me being lonely, it's been great not having to take care of him and his issues and not sure if I can trust him again. I'd love to hear a "and they all lived happily ever after story" after rehab if it is at all possible.
Hi @Loveneverfails ,

There's always hope!! Always!!
Don't think going to rehab is a guarantee of anything. Seems like your husband surely wants to change though. Totally I get where you're coming from about being lonely but it being good without him due to no stress related to his gambling. Definitely don't rush into taking him back.

Why don't you perhaps tell him see what happens in say 3 to 6 months? If you really want him back tell him if he's still good after 3 to 6 months then you might want to try again. In the big scheme of things 25 year marriage, 25 years of him gambling then waiting another 6 months for him to work on himself before you get back together is nothing. Perhaps in 6 months you might want him back or you may realize you don't want him back.

I wish you the best of luck, I can't imagine how hard life has been for you.
But just know from a gambler, we never mean to hurt anybody! We truly despise ourselves for our gambling and hate it! I mean I might not be speaking for all people with gambling addictions but I'm pretty sure I speak for a majority.

All the best! Take care, whatever you do, do it for yourself! X

Re: Is there hope after rehab?

Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:22 am
by gzy3
Hi @How the F did I get here, I am one of the moderators here.
Thank you so much for your recent posts, which will surely empower and encourage people who have gambling issues and their family members!