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  • Feeling lost

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    List
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:42 pm

    Feeling lost

    Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:00 pm

    Hi, I am new to this and trying to get my head around everything.
    I am with a gambler. He likes keno and poker machines but mostly keno.
    We have been together for 4 years. When we first got together he would borrow money off me to help his sister or mum but the money was always returned the next day. I was confused but never thought anything more of it. I realise now that he was constantly borrowing from cash converters and needed money from me to pay off the last of his loans so he could get a new one, hence paying me back straight away. We moved in with one another and things seemed to get better. Then we broke up for a few months. When we got back together, he hid the fact that when we were apart, he took our $16,000 in loans from cash converters. I have been supporting him while he pays everything back. His mum also constantly lends him money behind my back - money he tells her we will pay back.
    He has been trying to clear off his loans in order to consolidate a big loan he took out before we met. I have been helping him and in turn have put myself in debt to help clear his accounts as I know this loan will help both of us (we need a new car)
    Anyway, he went to the bank earlier than he should and they rejected him. I have since found out in the last 6 weeks, he has taken out $1,200 in cash advances behind my back. Money that should have been helping me to pay my debts. I’m exhausted. I feel like our money is our money but his is his, if that makes sense. When I ask him why he took out the loans without consulting with me he tells me “I don’t know”. When I ask him what he did with the money he says “I can’t remember”. I’m tired of crying. I am tired of going without. My kids need new clothes and he blows $1,200 when we well can’t afford it. We are still recovering from his last bender that saw him blow $3,500 that he borrowed, with me, from his mum to pay for glasses for my son and me, podiatrist care for our daughter and bills that had piled up. I’m annoyed at how selfish he is being and how I feel like he doesn’t care about my feelings or the fact that I am working my butt off in a job I hate only to get no where. I don’t know what to do to help him. I don’t know what I will do if he won’t get help. I love him but I can’t keep living this way.
    I don’t know what I want from this post, I guess I feel really alone right now and I don’t know what step to take next.
    0 x
    PurpleP
    Member
    Posts: 30
    Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 8:18 am

    Re: Feeling lost

    Tue Oct 15, 2019 11:45 am

    Hi @List,

    I'm sorry to hear all that you are going through, and am glad you have found this forum to get some support. I think its important to be honest with your partner about the extent it is effecting you and working together on a plan of action so you feel more in control and don't feel in the dark.

    You might also find gambling counselling through gamblers help useful not only as a support for yourself but also to help you decide on next steps (Call 1800 858 858 to find your local service).

    Best of luck and I look forward to hearing more from you

    PurpleP
    0 x

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