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My mother is a gambler

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 12:35 am
by hajae
Hi everyone.

My mother is a gambler. For as long as I can remember, she's had a gambling problem. When I was younger, she would leave my siblings and I for a day or two to go gambling with my aunty. I've been protected from her habits for most of my life, but that's changed now.

Whilst I was a university student, my mother pressured me into letting her borrow money. She walked me to the bank and got me to withdraw most of my savings, roughly 25k at that time. She had promised to repay me, but I never saw that money again.

I now have a full time job and saving most of my money away. My mother has recently approached me asking for money so that she can settle her debts. I want to believe her when she talks about turning her life around, but I can't.

I'm currently feeling very lost and overwhelmed. I feel guilty for not giving her money as I can't be sure if she will settle her debts or just gamble my hard earned money away.

I feel selfish for worring about the house my family and I currently live in. My biggest fear is that my mother sells our house to fuel her gambling habits.

I'm feeling conflicted on whether she is being genuine or just manipulating me .

I guess my first priority is to somehow figure out if there's a way I can save the house from her clutches.

But for the most part, I just wanted to let this off my chest. Thank you to anyone who has read this far. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Re: My mother is a gambler

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 5:18 pm
by dragon007 (facilitator)
Hi hajae

Welcome to the forum!

I can see that you are in a difficult situation and it is good that you are seeking help.

As I don't know your specific situation, I can provide general suggestions:
  • call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 it is a 24/7 telephone gambling counselling service that is private, confidential and anonymous, we can assist to make referrals to local face to face counselling and support groups.
  • if your mother has debts she or you could call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007, they are Financial Counsellors and they help negotiate loans, credit cards, create budgets and make suggestions on what you can do about your mother selling her house.
  • look into Financial Administration for your mother so they can manage her finances. In Victoria you can apply for a Financial Administrator through VCAT (Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal), each state their own Tribunal.
  • you could suggest to your mother to go to a local Gamblers Anonymous Meeting, this is a link
  • you could suggest to your mother to apply for Self Exclusion, she can ask to be banned from venues - clubs, casinos, pubs.

    I hope these suggestions help, make sure you keep asking for help as it is very stressful and upsetting helping a loved one with a gambling addiction.

    Take care and all the best.