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  • Yesterday I took off my rings

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2018 5:31 pm

    Yesterday I took off my rings

    Mon Dec 10, 2018 6:10 pm

    HI everyone,

    I just discovered this forum today and have been reading other's experiences. Although our stories vary there are many things that I can relate to and has made me all teary. I discovered that my husband had a gambling problem almost a year ago and unfortunately we separated in May.
    I thought we could make our marriage work but I am not seeing any significant changes needed for me to take him back. To his credit he has been seeing a Gambling counselor but it's not really enough for me as I just do not trust him at all.

    Since we have been separated I have been seeing a gambling counselor, became a member of a place called Flourish and have taken care of my mental health recovery. It's been such a heart breaking journey and I have finally come to a place where my 20 year marriage has to come to an end. Even though I found out the extent of his gambling a year ago, it has been nearly 13 years of dysfunction as he has had quite a few breakdowns. I can say that I was also in denile and noticed more his drinking problem rather then the gambling problem.

    At the beginning of the year I could no longer turn a blind eye and once you see something you can't unsee it.

    Yesterday was heartbreaking as I took my rings off, yet after a big cry it was okay. Another reason why I chose yesterday to take them off is because my husband returned the house keys to me and that was my reassurance that My rings have a safe place to live. (meaning they wont end up in the hock shop).

    I'm glad I found this forum as I haven't really talked to others who have experienced this and I feel my road to healing my heart is sharing my story with those who get it.

    Thank you for sharing your stories and that this forum exists
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Posts: 635
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Yesterday I took off my rings

    Wed Dec 12, 2018 8:44 pm

    hello liont,

    Sounds like its been one big journey for you for a while now.
    Gambling can be quite destructive to relationships as you have shared, what's important now is that you are really focusing on whats best for you and your own mental health.

    Kind regards,

    3 x
    dragon007 (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 191
    Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 11:07 am

    Re: Yesterday I took off my rings

    Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:12 pm

    Hi @liont

    Thank you for sharing your experience and for having the strength and courage to seek assistance, well done!

    Be kind and patient with yourself, it will take time, there will be a grieving process with the ending of a relationship. Take the opportunity to take stock of your health and get back to the basics of getting healthy and changing your habits.

    There are lots of strategies that you can try from face to face counselling to telephone counselling, as well as support groups.

    Take care and all the best.
    2 x
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2018 5:31 pm

    Re: Yesterday I took off my rings

    Sun Dec 16, 2018 7:19 pm

    Thank you for your kindness xx

    The biggest lesson I've learnt through this is looking after myself
    2 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 380
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Yesterday I took off my rings

    Wed Jan 16, 2019 11:31 pm

    Hey there,

    Yes can see that you have been through a lot. Hope you can heal completely, move forward with your life.
    I totally understand why you got out, I have had a gambling problem for almost 20 years on and off.
    I don't even want to be with me, let a lone think about somebody else wanting to be or stay with me. And to be completely honest when I get myself under control I also wouldn't want to be with a gambler or ex gambler for that matter even though I am one myself.

    Wish you all the best in your new chapter!
    2 x

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