Page 1 of 1

How to trust and forgive

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2018 3:38 pm
by Learning
Hi there,

I am new to this forum and really hope you might be able to offer some advice. My 20 year old son is a gambling addict (sports betting) and got himself into all sorts of trouble which ended up with him being suicidal, dropping out of uni and losing interest in everything,. Thankfully his mood seems to be improving slowly with some counselling although I am still walking on eggshells and truly terrified of saying the wrong thing. I thought his gambling too had ceased but the other day I found out (caught him out) that he had started up again. I was so horrified that he could be so stupid and am completely devastated but don't feel I can tell him because I don't want his mood to spiral. I love my son, but truly hate what he is doing and don't know how to forgive him this time and feel I will never be able to trust him. Is there any hope? Do they EVER get better? I am sorry if this sounds pathetic - I just don't know who else to ask. Thankyou

Re: How to trust and forgive

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2018 4:15 pm
by Calvin (facilitator)
Hi Learning,

I'm Calvin, one of the facilitators here on GH online.
I hope you find other member's advice and support to be useful to you.

You'd often find that other members may be experiencing similar issues similar to yourself at the moment.

You can look into an app called 'Gamblock' which helps to block gambling websites and apps from a mobile phone device.

There is definately hope for people with a gambling habit. Only they can make the changes.

Possibly encourage your son to also speak with lifeline if he feels he is in crisis.



Re: How to trust and forgive

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2019 11:58 am
The two combined successful traits I would look for in him/her. That they genuinely want to quit, and that they also feel they have to quit. Somebody carrying both of these at the same time is highly likely to stay away from it forever. There is a minor chance of relapse, though. A person who is far removed (weeks? months?) from their most angriest thoughts about gambling could start to feel less anti-gambling as they forget those feelings and get sucked back in by the glamour or supposed thrill. That is when they could be more vulnerable to gamble again.

I think continuing the talks about how bad gambling is, and even exposing them to forums like this will be beneficial so they can remember just how bad gambling is. Do it in such a way that they hate the gambling and not themselves. Yes, a gambler does have to feel some accountability for their past mistakes, but they are now in a new life away from gambling, so encourage them that they are not a gambler anymore. The worst thing a past gambler can feel is still that they are a bad gambler (even when they aren't anymore). What motivation otherwise is there for them to quit when they are still treated like a troubled gambler?

Re: How to trust and forgive

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2019 8:45 pm
My sincere apologies. I think I posted my response in the wrong thread. If there were any concepts that were useful, please take those, otherwise, my apologies again.