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  • Do I give it another go or leave?

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Worriedpartner10
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2018 2:10 pm

    Do I give it another go or leave?

    Tue Sep 11, 2018 4:10 pm

    Hi all,

    I’m rather new to all this. I short I’ve been with my fiancé 6 and half years and we have a one year old together. My partner has had a gambling problem for about 5 years however he has gotten help before and it seemed to be okay for a little while. However this year it seemed to all go to crap.

    After our son was born he gambled so bad we had no money and our son was only 3 months old. All the money we had saved to get us through my maternity leave was gone. We meanded things and he did go about 4 months without anything happened the he relapsed again. He spent over $1000 and lost his job. He became quite depressed so we go him to see someone, he was happy to be doing it but he then again relapsed and spend over $6000 which was he money we were supposed to use for our wedding. We then got him into an out patient programme which he was so excited for and has great success rates. I’ve never seen him so happy to go before and I thought this was it. However since then we have had 2 relapsed of over $1000, he’s lied about appointments and cancelled then without any one knowing.

    I found this all out yesterday and I’m so torn. I’ve given him chance after chance and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my son seeing how he can be. When he told me he relapsed he shut down and didn’t want anything to do with me or his son. His son could hear his voice in his room were he plays PlayStation and was knocking to get it. He knew he was doing this but didn’t answer.

    I’m so confused. I love him but I know this is hurting me. Our relationship is distant. I’m depressed and I can’t concentrate at work. I want to protect myself and my son. I’m sorry this all probably sounds disjointed and I’m all over the place. I’m just confused. I feel like am I fool for giving him another chance? Or do I leave an stop it now?

    - Worried Mum
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1024
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Do I give it another go or leave?

    Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:33 pm

    Hi,

    Perhaps give the gambling helpline a call on 1800 858 858 they are better experienced at helping and advicing - not only gamblers but spouses & family.

    All the best ... and hope every thing works out for you whatever path you take.

    Mona
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 319
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: Do I give it another go or leave?

    Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:40 am

    Hi Worriedpartner10

    Welcome to the forums, we're glad that you've come here.
    And thank you for taking the time to share your story, I know that this can be a hard thing - especially while experiencing so many emotions.

    There are many people in this community who are going through similar things to you, who I'm sure could give you some guidance and ideas around how to look after yourself at this time, and maybe some ideas of things you could talk to your partner about.

    While mona is right that you may benefit from chatting with a counsellor, I hope that reading and sharing your experience here in the forums can also help you feel supported at this time, and I look forward to seeing that.

    Take care,
    BrittV, community manager
    0 x
    kittymama
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2018 11:05 am

    Re: Do I give it another go or leave?

    Sat Sep 15, 2018 11:11 am

    Hi there,
    No I don't have an answer...just wanted to let you know that I'm in a very similar situation and am too wondering if I can do it any more. How many chances are we supposed to give? I'm to the point where I don't feel attracted to him any more and feel more like his mother than anything else.
    0 x
    oliviaolivia
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:30 pm

    Re: Do I give it another go or leave?

    Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:36 pm

    honestly my husband just gambled 80000 dollars gone in a week, I'm torn as well and don't know if I'm strong enough to keep pushing for something.
    im so sorry to hear i can only imagine how much harder it is with a baby involved to. I thought i had put enough restrictions on our home loan account but the bank just handed the cash over with a picture ID, I'm so sorry your going through this.
    i totally feel the same about the mother comment to, it seems so ridiculous to have this limitations to everything bit clearly i needed to do more to stop this.
    anyway sending you all my support and love
    0 x

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