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Carrying such a heavy weight

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:33 pm
by DesperateWife
We moved into our new house recently. We’ve got out of renting and it’s our first home so I should be ecstatic. However, all I keep feeling is this weight.
Our family came and helped a lot during the move. His family know about his addiction but mine don’t yet. The whole time they were excited for us and helping with the move I just felt guilty and like our life was a fraud. Here they are celebrating for us when they don’t know the truth.
I desperately want to tell my family and I’m trying to be patient with my husband. I raised it with him the other night and the whole conversation completely spiraled because he thought I was having a go at him for not telling them yet. It seems to spiral every time I try talking to him about it and it’s been almost two months now since I found out. I know telling them is going to be really hard for him but I need their support. I don’t want to tell them without him being present because it’ll look really bad on his part and probably cause more problems.
How do I get him to go with me and tell my family without breaking him? The night before he told his family he had a lapse cause he was so anxious about it. I desperately need my family on my side but he doesn’t seem ready and I’m stuck in this middle carrying this burden with minimal support. Feeling so stuck.

Re: Carrying such a heavy weight

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 2:53 pm
by Mona58
perhaps just let him know when you intend to let your family know and let him decide himself
if he wants to be present.

Re: Carrying such a heavy weight

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 4:17 pm
by sherpa09 (facilitator)
Hi Desperatewife,

Sherpa09 here.. (one of the moderators on the forum). It sounds like you are going through both exciting and difficult times at the moment. Feel free to contact our Gamblers Helpine > 1800858858, where one of our counselors will be able to talk you through your thoughts and feelings about the situation and how to best move forward. Thanks for your contribution to the forum and look forward to your future posts. :)

Regards,

Sherpa09.

Re: Carrying such a heavy weight

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:39 pm
by oliviaolivia
hi i would love to know if you have told your family yet, i feel such a heavy guilt and shame and haven't had the guts to speak to anyone yet about my husband gabbling away pretty much all of our savings. i carry such a huge weight from it,
sending you support and love.