Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Confidential. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Before you can post or reply, join our online community today.

    On now:
  • Sunlight September challenge - getting outdoors to improve mental wellness.
  • Q&A with a gambling counsellor - what's stopping you from seeking support?
  • Don't know what to do

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    RainbowDash
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:44 pm

    Don't know what to do

    Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:51 pm

    Hi
    I'm a new member here but needing some advice
    My partner and I have been together for 9 years and he's always liked the pokies
    Lately though it's taking over
    Over the past 3 weeks he has spent $1300 on pokies and SportsBet.
    We don't have this kind of money
    He apologises and then goes and does the same thing a few days later
    I'm short changing bills to pay rent and food and have debt collectors calling me daily
    Last night it was $700 on the pokies
    I don't know what to do anymore and would appreciate any advice
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1021
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Don't know what to do

    Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:45 pm

    l think you need to sit down your partner and tell him this is not on! Encourage him to get help... which may or may not work.. to be honest. He has an addiction that is difficult but not impossible to curb.

    You need also... to look after yourself and your children (if you have any) first and foremost.

    I would also suggest contacting the Gamb Helpline on 1800 858 858 and they can give you advice on how to approach your partner and how to get help for yourself.

    I am sorry that you are in this situation and wish you all the best for future. l hope your partner gets the help he needs!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    flipper (facilitator)
    Member
    Posts: 50
    Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 1:58 pm

    Re: Don't know what to do

    Sun Apr 08, 2018 1:12 pm

    Hi Rainbowdash,

    I'm Flipper one of the Gambling Help Online moderators, welcome to the forums! I'm glad you've reached out for some support today.

    It sounds as though things are quite difficult for you at the moment. What you've described is very common, gambling will often start as a pass time and then without realising can quickly get out of hand. It sounds as though your partner has a degree of awareness that he shouldn't continue gambling (given he does apologise), but this logic tends to go out the window when the urge comes on- especially if he is now desperately trying to chase his losses. As Mona58 mentioned, continuing having an open discussion with your partner about this issue and try collaboratively develop some sort of management plan for when the urge comes on (e.g. calling the helpline, giving you control over his funds) or better yet having a regular face to face counsellor for ongoing support. The hardest part for a loved one is the inability to control what others choose to do, so please set some boundaries around what you are willing to cope with and continue getting support for yourself too (including financial counselling on 1800 007 007 if you'd like some information around managing debt and protecting your assets).

    Take care,
    Flipper
    0 x
    Eliza Jane
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:04 pm

    Re: Don't know what to do

    Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:55 pm

    Hi, I have found myself in this situation very recently, however on a HUGE financial level, which will affect not only us but many around us. I suggest going hardcore, take him to his GP , get a referral to a psychiatrist who will work with him. shut down any access to cash, accounts , ph and internet banking. Hit him hard early as it will only get worse. It's going to be very hard for you to be strong to do this but be strong. He will be in denial saying it win happen again, but it already has, hasn't it? Good luck and stay strong
    0 x

    Return to “For Family and Friends”