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RE: Husband keeps gambling, but says he doesn't have a problem

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:41 pm
by Linda2
Hi Kate2

I also wanted to let you know that I was also in a very similiar spot except my husband was an alcoholic and I was having our baby. So I spent many a night on my own while he drink at the pub. So yes I know what it feels like and when Shannon turned 2 I asked him to either give up the drink or get out.

He choose the booze and to this day I don't know how or why becaue he loved us so much. He became my best friend for 15years so it is not all bad and we shared custody of our daughter Shannon, who turns 20 next week.

So as I said an addiction is a hard one to beat, they have to want to do it for themselves.

So hang in there and when the time is right you will know what to do and when to do it!

Best wishes - Linda

RE: Husband keeps gambling, but says he doesn't have a problem

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 12:50 am
by nieves
Hi there,

My partner is gambling on the phone with sports daily and because money is not an issue he doesn´t think is a problem and wants to find solutions. However it is affecting his mood and mine even more so our relationship in general. When I have enough he always recognize the problem and say that he will ask for help but he doesnt.

I want to install a gambling block on his phone but everything I have seen is for androids and he has an iphone.

Do you know guys what could I install in an iphone?

Thank you for reading.

RE: Husband keeps gambling, but says he doesn't have a problem

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:39 am
by Angelina.
Hi Nieves,

I noticed that noone had responded to your post, so I thought I would try and offer some assistance.

Firstly, a big warm welcome to the gambling help online forums Nieves . I get the sense that you are exhausted with the gambling, particularly because it occupies your partner's time and effects his mood. :crazy:

I have copied and pasted script from an earlier post regarding online self-exclusion/blocking software:

*'Betfilter' is another. There is a free trial available. It is for Microsoft windows. This is an international product that blocks all gambling sites. They also have an app for Iphone and Ipad, but this does not block gambling sites. Apparently this can also work for apple mac, but I cannot substantiate this claim.
*K9 Web Protection. This is a general web blocking agent that includes gambling sites. It is available for MacOS, Android, Iphone, Ipad, Ipod, Windows; and has a free trial available.

Hope this helps,
Please check in and let us know if it works

Warm regards,

RE: Husband keeps gambling, but says he doesn't have a problem

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:57 pm
by Angelina.
Hi all,Further to yesterday's post about online gamblingblockers (for iphone/ipad), I found an email from a wonderful colleague of mine who has alerted us to the 'Gambling Terminator' for iPhones/iPads and Androiddevices.The product is designed to help you get your gambling undercontrol, and detects when you are inside a gambling venue inNew South Wales, Australia (sorry, only for NSW :unsure . It sends reminder messages that interruptgaming-machine play and give you a chance to re-think your choices.It alsoprovides instant access to live phone and online counselling services whichoperate 24 hours a day, seven days a week.Gambling Terminator also has a Gambling Diary feature tohelp you stick to your goals for cutting down time and money spent gambling. Itwill tell you how long since you've last gambled,how much money you've lostsince you signed up for the service and your triggers for gambling – such asboredom or stress.The app is free to download.Oh...and this brings me to mention the VERY EXCITING news that our web development team are doing a fantastic job working on a gambling calculator for this be COMING SOON...Hope this help,Warm regards Angelina

RE: Husband keeps gambling, but says he doesn't have a problem

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 3:01 pm
by andrea1
I am going through the same thing as Kate1. I have been married for 6 years to a once lovely man who turned into a completely different person after he started going to the casino. His gambling started 3 years ago and is still an ongoing problem.

He was once a good man who was responsible of his fiances and his family. Everything spiraled downwards when we immigrated overseas. He was not able to find a good paying job and refuse to work in manual labor. He then decided to get a different degree and I was supportive of him up to the very end. He is responsible for his studies though and has completed his degree just this month. But this did not stop him from going to the casino and spending my hard earned money. He always makes me believe that everything would be okay and that he would stop. he has cut down though and doesn't go to the casino much. (Maybe 4-6 times a month...before he was going almost everyday)

Before, he too wakes me up early hours in the morning to ask for money. (Now this has reduced)
Trice in that 3 years he maxed out my credit card (to an amount of about 45,000); and I believe he already spent an amount of at least $150,000 during the 3 years that he was gambling. I have changed my credit card and debit card pin so that he wont be able to use it even if he gets his hands on it. We always have fights about his gambling and although he doesn't go that often he still splurge a big amount every time he goes.

Currently we are still living together and I have been paying for his living expenses and university fees for the last 4 years. I'm still reluctant to leave him because apart from gambling we rarely fight and we get along very well. He does make me feel lonely and unloved but I am afraid of living life without him. My family, his family and friends don't have any idea of whats going on. I have not told anyone as I don't want to loose face and don't want to worry my family which are living overseas. I don't have anyone to talk to and find that I'm just keeping myself busy at work and further studies so that i don't always have to deal with the problem.

Same as kate1 I also used to worry so much when he doesn't go home and cant even sleep waiting for him. But i think Ive reconditioned myself to not care so much anymore. Knowing that if i mind it so much it will just make me crazy. We have decided to not have a baby and wait it out until our condition improves and until he gets over his gambling. I have suggested counseling but he refuse to get it. Ive considered to leave him many times but I always think of the vows we made when we got married and I'm afraid of being alone. I'm also afraid of leaving because of what my family, friends, and colleagues will say if I end up being separated.(coming from a culture where wives should be submissive to their husbands)

Sometimes I think hes doing this intentionally to hurt me cause I am the one earning and making a living while he does not have any contribution whatsoever in the home. He will start working next year, and I have told him that he has to start to pay for all the bills at home so that i could then start to save my own money. He agrees to this but does not promise that he would completely stay away from the casino. He says that he goes there because hes bored and there's nothing else to do. I'm just hoping that once he gets busy with work, he would gradually stop going to the casino.

Im very confused but as of now my decision is to wait it out..and hope that he gets better once he starts to work. If he continues to do this though, it would not take long before I completely fall out of love and loose all my respect for him which I think would make the decision to leave a bit easier..just waiting to be numbed i waiting for the time i don't feel anything for him and finally make a decision to leave..

RE: Husband keeps gambling, but says he doesn't have a problem

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:11 am
by BriM
Hi Andrea

I am very sorry I missed your post and it's been sitting there with no response! Thank you for sharing your story with us - it sounds like you're in a very hard situation.

What struck me about your story, apart from your partner's gambling, was that you have immigrated and your family and friends are all overseas. Can I ask, are you currently in Australia, and where are you from originally? What you're going through can be extremely hard if you're going it alone, and even more so given that as you say you come from a culture where women should be submissive to their husbands. I'm wondering, do you have a support network where you live?

Also, do you know that there is free gambling counselling available across Australia (if that is where you live), which is not just for the gambler, but also for family members, partners and friends? Perhaps you might find it helpful to discuss your situation with a counsellor? They will be able to give you some options and help alleviate the burden of dealing with this all on your own.

Let me know if you'd like more details about this. Looking forward to hearing from you soon