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Posted: Wed May 03, 2017 10:08 am
I feel the need to vent, mainly so I don't feel so dam alone.
I am leaving my husband of 2 years who has a nasty gambling addiction. His addiction is now jeperdising the roof that is over me and my 5 month old sons head. This addiction has taken my own life and rung me out to dry.
His love for gambling has lost our house, cars, and anything nice I ever owned has been pawned for money. The three times he got caught due to criminal behaviour he says he stopped and sort help. This time he isn't even interested in being honest. Every last penny is going towards the addiction and it's scaring the hell out of me.
I know the addicted brain can't care for family, friends and even interests but this is rough when we have a baby.
I am so sad and although linked in with a family violence worker I just want to be on the other side of this.
4 years ago I lost the man I love to this condition. -A man who would do anything for me and his family. Now all he is, is an angry, insulting and abusive man.
Can people ever change for good? Or is rock bottom the only way someone learns?
Re: Basic needs
Posted: Wed May 03, 2017 6:22 pm
Hi Rosie and Welcome.
I feel for you and the situation you are in. I firmly believe that Gambler's will not change until they are ready to change. That may mean they have to lose everything and hit rock bottom. You can poke and prod and tell them your concerns and say you'll support them, but if they are not ready to admit that gambling is a problem they will not change. I am a gambler myself and know that it was only when I could admit to myself that gambling was a problem and that I was ready to take control of my life again that I began to see the damage gambling was causing in my life.
You need to look after yourself and your son first. This is affecting you as well. You have every right to protect yourself and your son from your husbands addiction. I know it's hard but try not to let His addiction get in the way of Your future happiness. You deserve better.
I suggest you get in contact with a gambling councellor for yourself to discuss your options. They have great support for gambler's family's on the Gambler's Help website.
I wish you all the best.............
Re: Basic needs
Posted: Wed May 03, 2017 7:42 pm
I echo what JinxyWolf has said, it sounds like such a hard situation and I believe that you are making a decision that doesn't say you don't love your husband, but you are putting yourself and your baby, first. Which isn't easy, none of it is, but until your husband changes for good, you need to look after you. Use those around you, get linked in with a gambling counsellor if you want to, you are more than eligible to access free gambling counselling as an 'affected other'. Please inbox me if you need to, happy to help where I can. I would suggest it might also be worthwhile talking to a Financial Counsellor which you can contact through Gamblers Helpline 1800 858 858, who can help with the monetary issues and what you can do to protect yourself financially.
This is a space where you can vent and talk about your struggles, so use it, we are all here for you!
Please keep us posted, thinking of you