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  • Planning to take my Life

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    GambledEverything
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:37 pm

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:07 pm

    Hey @Chunkyquitter

    Alright. Sometimes I dont have time due to family commitments but will try to go and meet people like me.

    Appreciate it mate.
    0 x
    AGHS
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:43 am

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:57 pm

    Hi, I am glad you are still with us.......have you spoken to a gambling counsellor at all. might be a good idea to phone 1800 858 858. May even help to reach for support through Relationships Australia. As for the money you owe your friends perhaps its time you are honest with them and tell them the whole truth of what has been going on. Sometimes it even helps to write down what you want/need to say before you contact them. Accept that they may be angry or p#$@d of with you. Work together to come up with a solution. I think youre absolute priority is to stop chasing your losses...you will never ever solve your issues by continuing to gamble. YOU need to make changes. Not sure what form of gambling you are doing but bar yourself asap. I have been there and done that.....I went even as low as stealing from my family. Boy that was a bitter pill to swallow when I had to admit it to them but hey....a few years later all is better, money paid back, family still intact, haven't gambled for years but I did not do this on my own. I needed to see a counsellor, I needed to be honest with my family, I needed to negotiate payments to return the money I took, I needed to bar myself, I need to change my lifestyle. Only I could make the changes. Please consider getting the help that you deserve. Gambling is addictive as cocaine. It is very difficult for someone to try to address their gambling issues without professional help. Let me know how you go.
    2 x
    TheTeam
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2018 4:38 pm

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:43 pm

    Hi @@GambledEverything

    I have sent you a quick private message to check in.

    @AGHS made some wonderful points around the power of seeking support from those around you, whether it's a professional agency, peers online, or your friends and family. A starting point may be to confide in one person who you feel comfortable with and can trust. You've already made a huge step in that direction by sharing your story here on the forums.

    Take care,

    Flipper
    2 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 301
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Sun Nov 24, 2019 5:10 pm

    Hey @GambledEverything

    So sorry to hear how you are feeling!!
    But your kids first and foremost would not be better without you.

    I'll be Blunt here but if you don't stop gambling there could come a day your wife may think her life is better without you ( not by suicide though, rather divorce)
    But your children will never, ever be better off without you!!!!!
    You think you've failed them now? Things can and will improve if you keep pushing on. However if you leave them fatherless that is when you will have failed them.
    Imagine loosing a parent to suicide? They will be missing you for the rest of their lives, you will cause them major damage and devestation forever!

    I know you must be in a dark, dark place to even consider this but money comes and goes, but life that's another thing. You only get one!

    I have blown huge amount of money in my 20 years of gambling, but there was a year there where my gambling was on steroids it was when I broke after 5 years of being gamble free.
    So basically in the 5 years I was gamble free I saved a large amount of money, paid off all credit cards and did balance transfers so I had just shy of 30k in available credit. After I blew my large sum of saved money I maxed all the credit. Like *****!!!
    Went to wesley mission got help from a financial councilor who negotiated on my behalf with creditors.
    Drew on my super to pay 2 cards off which they agreed to take a bit less. Got one creditor to accept minimal payment for a year with no interest and another creditor accepted me on a 7 year payment with no interest.

    The plus side for you, I know it's still effing ****, owing money to friends and family but at least you don't owe it to the banks, the interest alone on 50k would kill you. So look at it this way things could be way better for you but they could also be 10 times worse too.

    I've just had another gambling bender these past couple days, but I will start again. God knows I've tried, failed, tried, failed pretty much every week but no matter how many times I ***** up I go to bed with the intention to try again and do better.

    Get some counseling/go to gamblers anonymous just try and see if anything works for you.
    I am a parent also so I can definitely relate to the feelings you have around your children, feeling like an absolute piece of **** failure of a parent so you are not alone in this!

    I wish you every success with this, keep coming on here and chatting with everyone and read threads it helps somewhat.
    You got this!
    0 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 301
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Sun Nov 24, 2019 5:20 pm

    Chunkyquitter wrote:
    Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:37 pm
    I have gambled everything a couple of times and stopping each time has enabled me to rebuild my life.

    I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times years ago. And there have been numerous times I’ve thought of doing it again.

    Only a few months ago I was standing 17 stories up deciding how I could make it look like a workplace accident so my family would get my death benefit from my super.

    I’m glad I didn’t. It’s a long term solution to a short term problem, you can rebuild. Learn develop skills it empowering to get your life back and track and prove to yourself you’re not worthless. Which is exactly what gambling does and makes you feel.

    What state do you live in? I’m happy to attend group gambling therapy with you if you need support. I’ve just started attending group meetings and have found the best thing I’ve ever done, you’re able to be truthful in front of people. Which feels really good, everybody listens to each other and it is all really relatable.

    Join a group therapy or prove to your wife you’re worth supporting. Good luck you’ve taken the first step in the right direction by joining this group
    Hey Chunky,

    It's funny you offering support to meet up with him and go to a meeting.
    Just last night I was actually wondering if perhaps people on here might actually like to catch up in a group setting to talk or whatever and even like you mentioned go to a meeting together or something.
    I don't know others might cringe at the idea, but I thought meeting with people who can relate to eachother in a group every few weeks or once a month could be a good idea. Perhaps some people might not want to go to ga but would benefit from catching up with others who know exactly what they are going through. Because I sure as hell know the isolation that comes with being a problem gambler.
    0 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 407
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:10 pm

    Hello all,

    Some really lovely support for one another going on here and throughout the forums, it's really lovely to see, and I'm so glad this space is beneficial for you all.

    It's fantastic to hear that connection is so important to you all. Through having this community we certainly aim to increase this connection and minimise these feelings of isolation you mentioned.

    Anonymity is a benchmark of our community and remains a strong condition of posting. We find that most people find solace in this - having a space to communicate honestly without any concern of judgement, or safety concerns.
    For this reason, sharing personal information is not in line with our terms of use.

    As an alternative, many find Gamblers Anonymous helpful. You can have a look at this website then choose your state and details should come up :) https://gaaustralia.org.au/

    Otherwise you are welcome to communicate with one another as frequently as you like here! You are also welcome to make it what you like - you may like to
    • create little cyber coffee catch ups where you come onto a thread at a certain time (Chatty Tuesday may be a great option but you can choose your own time too).
    • Make an off topic thread where you could talk general chit chat, anything you like
    • Make threads about certain topics

    Or anything else you like.. We'd love to make this site as beneficial for you as possible, but again anonymity remains crucial here. If there's anything our team can do to support this please shout out! you can always send a private message to @TheTeam if you'd rather chat offline.

    Thanks all!

    brittV, community mgr
    1 x
    Chunkyquitter
    Member
    Posts: 73
    Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2016 11:34 pm

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Tue Nov 26, 2019 9:17 pm

    I understand the need to remain anonymous.

    Group meet and greats without a trained facilitator could go astray lol.

    Support and gaining understanding from others at different level of recovery is important.

    Meeting and seeing people in a proper recovery group opens your eyes to how normal others in the same situation are, of anything helps you realise you’re not such a loser
    2 x
    AGHS
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:43 am

    Re: Planning to take my Life

    Tue Dec 03, 2019 10:23 am

    Hi, just checking to see how you are travelling and if you have made any progress??
    2 x

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