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  • A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Chart your progress in working to overcome your gambling concerns and your ongoing recovery. Inspire others & take us all on your road to recovery!
    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Thu Aug 06, 2015 1:29 pm

    11 days, that's terrific! Good on you Kerry. It's amazing indeed how the mind can trick us into thinking "I deserve it".... "I've been so good". The mind will contiinue to generate these thoughts out of habit. Bottom line is though, we don't have to give in to our thoughts, and the less you give in, the less they will come up over time. So, you're doing really well to find different ways to respond to those thoughts!

    Let us know how the day goes :)
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1657
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:56 pm

    Kerry I really admire your strength and I support your determination and will power. I want to wake up in the morning and not have pokies on my mind."I will not" is what I say to myself and it is like my mantra.I dont earn big money and I owe so much and pay so much each pay to collection agencies( not proud of that) but..
    I have actually saved some money this pay..not a lot..but some..and that makes me feel good.
    So Kerry keep up the great work
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1657
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Fri Aug 07, 2015 7:52 am

    Kerry your determination is so encouraging.It is funny how our brain thinks though because I ,like you,was so determined in the beginning but as time goes on I feel my resolve wavering.I WILL NOT put any money in a poker machine again,but I want the day to hurry up and come when I dont wake up and think of them.Coming here every day is my saving grace because I know I am not alalo and I draw my strength from everyones commitment.
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    Kerry
    Junior Member
    Posts: 22
    Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 11:53 am

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:57 am

    I DID NOT PUT ONE CENT OF MY HARD EARNED CASH INTO A GAMING MACHINE YESTERDAY. Feeling more committed to my cause today - I managed to get through yesterday and to be honest - it was touch and go there for a while. Goal set - Goal smashed. Feeling good - much more determined today than yesterday. Restructured my day to ensure I had little time on my hands. Kept myself as busy as possible. Scheduled meetings till late afternoon. All these things helped however - that nagging necessity still crept into my mind many times during the course of the day. I will beat this because I have to. I have to prove to myself and others in the same situation that united - we can all beat this.

    Pamela - WE are doing great! Those nagging thoughts in our minds are just a constant reminder that we have an addiction. I plan to try and use them as a positive. Like most of us here Pamela - I too have accumulated what I consider to be enormous debt. It's going to take quite some time to recover financially - and I can deal with that because hard work and commitment will ensure there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Today there is a glimmer, in 12 months time there will be a ray and in a few years there will be a beam that will be so damn bright it will blind us.
    0 x
    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Fri Aug 07, 2015 5:25 pm

    Hi Kerry,

    GREAT STUFF! Sounds like it was a challenging day, but a challenge that you rose to. Goal smashed indeed! Your positivity is palpable :)
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1657
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Sun Aug 09, 2015 11:33 am

    How are you doing Kerry? I seem to have survived another weekend without a poker machine..hope you have too
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1657
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Tue Aug 11, 2015 10:23 am

    Hey Kerry how are you doing?? Are you still chasing the challenge? This is a hard path we have chosen to walk but walk it we will
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    Sandra
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:20 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:50 pm

    Hi Kerry,
    reading your posts is truly inspiring me..
    I wish I had jumped on here much earlier to read these posts; maybe I would not have a bankcard debt consisting of all cash withdraws and such a high interest rate that I can barely cover them a month...
    Same thing, intelligent and sensible person that works hard in a job that people respect me for, but they have no idea what goes on after work!
    I walk out after hours of gambling with nothing left again and as you did have to live on nothing for nearly two weeks always saying that next pay day it will not happen but it always does
    Today I was knocked back for a low interest personal loan to try and pay the bankcard off
    Credit wise I always pay my mortgage and bills so that would be OK I think, but they wanted bankcard statements and saving account statements and of course they would of seen withdrawal after withdrawal in venues, and cash withdrawal on the bankcard, so even with a good record of paying bills I was knocked back because they couldn't trust that I would pay back....that made me feel awful and disgusted in myself.
    I truly hope that everyone on here can find the inner strength to say NO ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
    Best wishes to everyone reading this
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1657
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Sat Aug 15, 2015 12:20 am

    Hey Sandra we all know that waful feeling of rejection..we cant change the past but we can have a better future..we will support each other
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1657
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: A desire to prove this cycle can be broken

    Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:43 am

    Hi Kerry are you still gamble free??
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