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  • 100 days challenge number two

    Chart your progress in working to overcome your gambling concerns and your ongoing recovery. Inspire others & take us all on your road to recovery!
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:34 am

    G'day Pamela,

    I get paid tomorrow and am a bit anxious as to how I will react. I am the same, when I am gambling, payday becomes a day of excitement and then despair. I used to gamble every payday, and then scrounge for the rest of the fortnight. I don't want to get back into that cycle. And know that the more paydays that go by, the easier it will become.
    I have changed my bank, and have been able to put a low cash out limit on my atm card. I have also booked my car in to get new tyres on Saturday and have made some other plans to socialise tomorrow. Doing that and continue to post here a lot will help me get through this! I've said it lots of times, but reading the support of everybody on this forum helps me a lot.
    0 x
    Elouisa
    Senior Member
    Posts: 141
    Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:46 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:56 am

    Good for you SW1 putting strategies in place.
    I did chuckle (in irony) how pay days were throwing our hard-earned $'s away then scrimping and depriving ourselves till next time.... Unnecessary hardship!
    New tyres, new bank and card limit will give you power over your actions. You simply won't be in a position to gamble.
    I too get paid tomorrow (weekly) and I believe starting with basics like limiting access to cash is the way to go.
    Keep things simple. I am changing my ATM password to random numbers I won't remember when I'm out.
    I'm quietly excited thinking of ways to outsmart my devious demons haha.
    Keep busy, keep in control and keep charting your progress.
    All the best
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Wed Oct 07, 2015 7:09 am

    Thankyou Kristine,
    Taking out loans on payday is part of the insanity that is gambling. I have often needed to take them out on my payday. Paid early in the morning, and by the evening I am logging onto the internet and trying to get a few hundred dollars to make it through the rest of the fortnight! If only I could have just kept my pay!! Also the snowball effect of taking out these loans takes a long time to fix. So my pay tomorrow will have two payday loans deducted from it, pay a bit off my credit cards, personal loan etc. However I will be able to make it through the rest of the fortnight. Even paying for some new tyres. Paying for the tyres is something which I struggle with, spending that much money, ha, the insanity of this demon, I would have easily put that amount through a pokie in around 20minutes. I have done that hundreds of times. A bit more responsibility with money is something I am also working on!
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1675
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Wed Oct 07, 2015 11:58 am

    Good thinking SW1..once you start treating payday differently you start to think on a different level.To be honest I dont get excitedby payday anymore and I use my money for better things.I stil think about the pokies but they dont excite me anymore.I could probably betempted I dont know but I will do my very best not to feed them again..I do not want that cycle that you mentioned of blowing my pay then getting payday loans to cover the fortnight.I like having some money in my pocket at the end of a pay period as that is a real achievement for me..we can do this with the help and support of each other..say no and be strong
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Fri Oct 09, 2015 5:20 am

    G'day Pamela,
    Well I survived payday yesterday without gambling, so that is a good start!
    I hope you are continuing to go well in your recovery? What other things have you changed in your life as well as not gambling?
    I ask because , my adult life has been dominated by addiction to gambling and alcohol.
    This has meant that I don't really have a life apart from those two things.
    Filling the void that is left after stopping drinking and gambling is something I haven't been able to do. And this leaves myself open for these things to come back into my life , through boredom, etc.

    Day 9 Today.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1675
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Fri Oct 09, 2015 7:38 am

    Hi SW1..that is the question..what to do after pokies? It is hard because for so many years All I have focused on is gambling and now I have that void to fill.I read more.I potter in the garden .it gets easier though just to do normal things without a foggy brain.I can honestly say I dont miss them and I like being able to buy things without a payday loan or two.I too got tyres for my car and it felt good.Just keep plodding along and when you have an urge try and think how good you feel now and how bad you felt last time you played and decide which feeling you like best..good luck with all you do.and keep strong
    0 x
    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:17 am

    Hi SW1,

    well done for getting through payday - it's a real challenge, so it's great to have armed yoursefl with strategies. I appreciate that filling the void left by addicitve behaviours is also a significant challenge - I agree with Pamela here, the further you move away from gambling, the easier it is to do those 'normal' things, and the more pleasure you begin to get from the simple things. Hard to believe as those addictions offer 'excitement' and 'escape' that we crave, but that allure will gradually fade, and living life on life's terms will become easier.

    All the best,
    Charlotte
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sat Oct 10, 2015 6:19 am

    Thankyou for your replies Pamela and Charlotte,

    I really appreciate your advice, and yes, with time the domination of pokies will subside. And doing simple things again will become normal. It's crazy. during the week I got my car serviced for the first time in about 5 years. And this morning I go and get those new tyres ). I still have a fair bit of work to get done on my car. There's some body damage I need to get fixed and my exhaust and shockers are need of replacement as well.
    My plan is to have all of this done by the start of December. It isn't a major thing to get these done, and is part of being a responsible road user.
    However, the body damage was done about 5 years ago, it has taken me 5 years to break the cycle of gambling and spend the money on fixing this.

    It hasn't been a case of I didn't have enough money for it, with the amount of money I have gambled during that time, and the interest I have paid on my loans, I could have bought a brand new car! It's just so frustrating. But, I need to focus on today and what I need to do. And do the next right thing.

    Today is day 10. My brain is, as Pamela said, still fuzzy, and my thoughts in some way often revolve around gambling, but the desire to gamble is fading.

    I hope everybody has a great weekend and stays gamble free.
    0 x
    Elouisa
    Senior Member
    Posts: 141
    Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:46 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:07 am

    Hi SW1 well done Day 10.
    The early days are tough as gambling is constantly on your mind as in "I must not go..." etc.
    Won't be long before they'll just pop up as a thought here and there. Gotta hang in there - I'm day 8 and am actually relieved I don't have enough money to gamble this weekend.
    I paid for my drivers licence renewal, I owed a family member $200, some other debts I needed to pay and even bought myself a bag online 😊, felt good tying up my pay and actually spending - not shovelling my weekly pay in a machine.
    I have enough till Thursday and then I'll do the same again. I'll only leave enough to socialise without gambling. (I can't go to venues with a 'small' amount (less than $200);...it frustrates me.
    Good for you getting a car service and tyres. Your safety is important. Not a random chance of a win then kicking yourself when you walk out broke even if a win did happen along the way.
    I read somewhere on here about dealing with urges - that sometimes it's better to go with them like riding a wave till it passes, rather than ignoring/suppressing/pretending they are not there which gives them control and importance.
    I don't know the answers though - I think "one day at a time" says it all.
    You have a good weekend too.
    0 x
    Dave68
    Senior Member
    Posts: 320
    Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sat Oct 10, 2015 6:09 pm

    HI all, well done on getting back on the horse so to speak and staying away. It's really hard to get these gambling urges, or the gambling bug out of our system, and filling both the void and perhaps the actual act of sitting in front of essentially a computer and pressing a button is a tough thing to replicate in a way that doesn't involve shoving money into a slot.

    Good point about the car repairs, i got my air conditioner serviced during the week, it had been inactive for months and i had a voucher for a 'free' service so i took it in so they could check it out. I was expecting that it had gone kaput, and would cost hundreds. I was very pleasantly surprised when i was told a re-gas was all it needed, and it had simply stopped working because the gas level had fallen to a level where the unit 'shut down' to avoid damage. Thus, $85 later and my car has air-con again, a relief as here in Victoria we open October with days in the mid 30's. It felt good, almost like a pokie used to feel like win for this, but as i've mentioned earlier, it's now been 18 months since i stopped on 9/4/14.

    Continuing with my funny computer based therapy, in addition to the Puzzle Baron word game i still play ( i started that at the time of stopping and found it great for substituting the time spent in front of a pokie) i now play some scrabble on facebook too. I am very much a homebody nerd type, but again, these are free, they occupy your mind, and they work well for me in sort of doing something in front of a computer that isn't gambling and isn't spending money. I think doing this has helped, it's assisted my brain to start realising that i can enjoy doing stuff in front of a screen that isn't pokies. Coupled with my reinforcement of how pokies have virtually destroyed my earnings for the first 28 years of my adult life, it's been something that has helped me stay away this long. To be honest, i still have no feeling at all of ever going to a pokie venue again.

    i even now find myself playing less and less the facebook online casino apps that have the pokies on them. Eve though they are free, i find now i get a bit bored playing them. Maybe staying away so long has changed the stimuli my brain needs, or how my brain operates. Word games involve much more thought, more skill, and the sort of internal excitement you get for making a 7-letter scrabble word or getting a great score for me works much like how pokies used to. They have helped me for sure, and perhaps Pamela and Kristine and SW1, it could help you kind of keep the mind ticking over in front of a computer, but save you the money factor. It may or may not work for everyone, but it's helped me a lot.

    Good luck, all of our journeys are the same, and it's really hard to stop. Gee...i took almost 16 years of playing pokies to see the damage it was doing, far too long to stop it being a massive problem for me. But loom upon every day away from a pokie is a day of our lives that it better for it. A day free from the feelings of despair and anger, of shame and regret. It's so essential we keep it up, we can't go back to pokies, they will always, ALWAYS take our money, our hopes, our dreams and our futures. Remember, they promise excitement and hope, but deliver only misery and shame.
    0 x

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