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  • 100 days challenge number two

    Chart your progress in working to overcome your gambling concerns and your ongoing recovery. Inspire others & take us all on your road to recovery!
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sat Oct 03, 2015 12:03 pm

    G'day Kristine,

    I know how hard it is to come back on here and post after a blow out. (I have done that a fair bit recently, and when I first started posting on here)

    But the positive thing is that you did, that is brilliant. And I know the absolute rock bottom feeling of a major lapse, blowing all the money, more loans, more heartache. Nothing normally makes me feel better at all. It is the rock-bottom. But never give up. I wouldn't want to come off as trying to give people to much advice on quitting gambling(I feel like a bit of a hypocrite after a massive blow out recently) However,

    We should never say we are never going to eat chocolate again, We are not going to eat chocolate today! Earlier on in the year I managed to achieve the 100 day challenge, and was close to achieving my second one when I relapsed. However one of the things that helped me achieve it was doing it every day. Every morning I would wake up and put a little note on that day on my phone calendar. Day 25 etc, and say to myself that on day 25 I will not gamble.

    So again, thankyou for coming back, discussing this demon with other like minded people gives me hope and I think we can help each other through this.
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sun Oct 04, 2015 6:53 am

    Day 4 today. The thoughts of wanting to gamble are getting a bit quieter
    0 x
    Elouisa
    Senior Member
    Posts: 141
    Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:46 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:06 am

    Thank you SW1 I enjoyed your view and advice.
    Yes it's all about not gambling for today...
    You did a great job getting past the 100 day challenge. Proves you can do it and our methods will work again.
    I need to be harder on myself - I felt sorry for myself yesterday. Was still reeling.
    However it was my own stupid fault.
    No one held a gun to my head and forced me to go to the pokies on Friday.
    It was torture. Bet max just hoping to win or break even and get out. Slunk out rock bottom.
    I am pleased I found this forum.
    I can relate to everyone's journey.
    Day 2.
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:00 am

    G'day Kristine,

    When I gamble I am a max bet person as well. This is such a quick road to destruction. As crazy as it seems (although this whole addiction is craziness) when I bet big, if I get free games or wins, they are normally quite large. Not only is there the sense of excitement, there is a sense of achievement, Like I have made that win happen. Gambling in small pubs, people aren't normally betting max, and quite often would have looked at my machine. And for some reason I would feel proud of myself, these people are looking at me, looking at me have this big win. That must mean I've achieved something right? And like us gamblers, no matter how big the win was. The money would go back in the machine trying to get more excitement and satisfaction.
    I'm sure anybody who understands how the pokie machines work, watching me play would know that there was a helluva lot more money going in those machines than coming out
    I am a person with very low self esteem, I am 35 years old, but extremely emotionally immature. So, getting those feelings of achievement playing poker machines, was another reason that the addiction has gripped me.

    In order to increase my chances of long term success. I need to start changing my thoughts about myself, and have some more positive thoughts about what I can achieve, not needing a big win on a random cash sucking machine to do this!

    Part of the goals on this 100 day challenge is to continue to look deeper than just the gambling itself. As my counsellor said, this addiction is like an onion with many layers, the actual playing machines is just one of them.

    I hope everybody has had a great weekend, and stayed gamble free if just for one day.
    day 5 today.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1676
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:48 am

    Giving up this addiction is really hard work..but with determinatiom it can be done..I am on day 68 and feel pretty good .I dont think about the machines much anymore and if I do the feeling doesnt last long.I am far from cured but I understand why I gambled.or at least what made me gamble so I am working on those feelings.I am not going to make excuses anymore.I like feeling normal and having money in my pocket.
    They fill a need and we think they are making us happy but they destroy us instead.Stay strong and say no to their call.
    0 x
    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Mon Oct 05, 2015 12:28 pm

    Hi SW1,

    sounds like it's been a rollercoaster for you emotionally in trying to tackle the demon - well done on getting to day 5, that's a huge milestone, especially as you said the gambling had returned with a vengeance, and it was the weekend.

    It seems that people often hit the gambling hard after a period of abstinence - the urges seem more intense and overwhleming after a break. However, you can tackle them, as you have done before - one day at a time and the urges will begin to abate, just as you're beginning to notice. It's great that you're still seeing your counsellor and that you're willing to look deeper - I think this is an invaluable part of the change process.

    All the best,
    Charlotte
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Mon Oct 05, 2015 4:13 pm

    G'day Pamela,
    congratulations on getting to day 68, that's a huge achievement, I hope to get that far in this 100 day challenge. You are exactly right, the fill a void for a short period of time, but leave us with nothing.

    Thankyou Charlotte, yes, The urges have come back very strong, immensely, I have thought about gambling constantly today, and when driving past a couple of pubs today, there were definite strong urges to go in there and gamble. Today I wont give in to those things.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1676
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Mon Oct 05, 2015 9:08 pm

    Well done SW1 for not giving into those urges
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Tue Oct 06, 2015 5:56 am

    Thankyou Pamela, every day we can go without gambling is great. At the moment I am still feeling pretty down about what I have I done. I know this will get better, and I have to move on! But this addiction doesn't let it happen to easily, it wants me to stay down and go back to playing the pokies to numb out those low feelings. Its such a vicious cycle isn't it. Taking us back to the places that cause all this hurt, and pushing us lower and lower.
    I'm happy to not have gambled over the weekend. Thankyou everybody for posting positive messages and discussing how you are going in your recovery.
    Today is day 6, back to work today which will fill some time and hopefully distract me from thoughts of gambling.
    It's amazing how much it takes over our whole lives, when I am gambling, I don't think about much else, every thought is related to either the results of my gambling, or desires to get to the pub and gamble again. Then followed by that rock bottom after gambling.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1676
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:19 pm

    SW1..the longer you stay gamble free the less you start to think about them.I got excited every pay day knowing I was going to play the pokies and now I get excited about how much money I can save and spend.I still dont trust myself yet but I don't have any real urge anymore.I still think about them but then I remember what they have done to me and that urge goes.Just remember how you felt the last time you played them and hopefully that feeling will be strong enough to keep you away.Keep strong
    0 x

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