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  • one day

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    one day

    Mon Feb 09, 2015 8:10 am

    Good morning blue sky here in Brisbane today. I am compulsive pokies gambler and over more than 30 years have blown a house and more. However, it all came to a head at Xmas and I have not been even tempted since then. I am accessing and have accessed all the available help and have needed it to cope with the distress caused to all when facing up to my problems. This continues and brings me here seeking another tool to help. I say one day, in the subjectline, as I need to take one day at a time. But, also and more importantly in some ways, is my need to assure myself and others that one day in the future I will not blow another pile money. This assurance is what I seek. How can I know I will not do something. How can I prove to someone I will not do something. How can I make promise that I don't know I can keep.
    My thought are some time random so I hesitate to hit enter but there are mine for this morning..... I think that helped.
    Jeff
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    Neve [admin]
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:52 pm

    Re: one day

    Tue Feb 10, 2015 11:44 am

    Hi Jeff

    Welcome to this forum and thank you for sharing a bit about your story.. A lot of people here will use this as a sort of diary, so do feel free to write down your thoughts no matter if they seem random (which they didn't!) :)

    You raised some big questions, I think what you can do right now is take one day at a time (as you said!) and equip yourself with tools, strategies and support. Sounds like you have already made use of services that are available and have needed these to get through a pretty tough time.. I'm glad you have come to this forum also, it provides yet another way of accessing support - particularly from others who understand your journey all too well. There is lots of advice and tips on here that I hope may help.

    Keep in touch with us on how you're going. All the best.

    Neve (moderator)
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    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    Re: one day

    Wed Feb 11, 2015 12:31 pm

    I am using this post as a Diary and a place to record my current thoughts on my addiction. I am now 3 weeks into my half marathon plan and am now running 8 kms twice a week in relative comfort. This is providing many benefits both physically and mentally. The gambling bug is very much out of my conscious thoughts. This weekend is a camping trip with family and friends which I always enjoy...I will be reflecting on progress to my goals (and on the goals themselves) and entering new comments next week.
    Cheers all
    Jeff
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    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    Re: one day

    Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:14 pm

    Back here reaffirming I understand I am a compulsive gambler and understand that it is a day to day proposition, I am doing a mixture of activities to hep me cope with my addiction. 1. no access to money, and scrutinized by spouse (who does not trust me - surprise..surprise..however, there are signs of improvement in this area, and I need to patient. 2. self exclusion form pubs and pokies that are potentially a temptation to me. 3. GA - now have decided one per fortnight due to availability of this forum to help a gap and the difficulties of getting to a meeting. 4 other activities - have several projects i am working on including some ambitious goals that I am making progress towards. main one right now is the Noosa half marathon.
    Lifes good even if it is raining - as long as I am in control of my gambling addiction
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    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:53 am

    Re: one day

    Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:49 pm

    Good to hear from you again Jeff. It sounds like you're really committed to making change and have been putting some great strategies into practice. A combination of strategies seems to be the best approach, so it's good to hear that a number of things are helping you at the moment.

    Life without gambling is indeed good! Good on you :)

    All the best,
    Charlotte
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    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    Re: one day

    Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:06 pm

    Have had a good week and checking in here to make sure my thoughts are clear. I am continuing on my running goals and finding my motivation is high and gambling issues re very much in the background. Fall out form my indiscretions are not going away. Sister in law has decided to estrange my children form hers if i am around as "i cannot be trusted and therefore my wife should separate from me". Fortunately my wife sees through this judgement to its application and consequence and has chosen to stand by me. I have and continue to offer meaningful displays of efforts to rid myself from gambling's hold on me. Big changes in my life continue with my wife returning form stay at home mum to professional teaching (part time), this will rock the boat of our domestic bliss. But that's OK we are up for it. We are planning holiday s for the year and other activities that fit our personal needs and desires. That my rmalbe for now
    cheers
    Jeff
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    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:53 pm

    Re: one day

    Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:40 am

    Hey Jeff,
    Glad you're continuing to check in on the good days as well as the tricky ones! Must be difficult when you're making so many positive changes but still experiencing the negative fall out from gambling in other ways. Sounds like your wife is a wonderful support and your minds are looking towards the future and all the challenges and excitement that it may bring!!
    Keep in touch,
    Noah
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    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    Re: one day

    Thu Feb 26, 2015 8:17 am

    Antidote of trust being broken ie can I trust you with a paper plate... good ...can I trust you with a china plate...good....can I trust you with the crystal hierloom from my grandmother.... I thought I could trust you but you have smashed it on the ground... How could you do that. My wife gave me that one. Still processing consequences of my gambling. Goals are still on track and no thoughts of gambling... Well nothing that's tempting me.
    Cheers
    Jeff
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    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    Re: one day

    Mon Mar 02, 2015 8:14 am

    Monday check in. Busy weekend and off to work. No gaming issues except for the continued fall out from my gambling prior to stopping and admitting I am a compulsive gambler. Inaws have banned their kids from being in my presence. They have done this as they believe I have abused my wife through my gambling. Fallout of this is my kids are by proxy limited from seeming their cousins who they love and enjoy being with. I am having thoughts of how my sister in law is manipulative and meddling in that she would think through the consequences of this ban. I.e. I have to schedule visits to grand parents. Cousins can't attend my daughters birthday. No apparently the quickly action is if they are to att and how will I deal with this. I.e forced to confront the issue with my sister in law.
    I know I will have to confront the issues with her, and apparently have no option to do this on her terms. I am coming to the conclusion that I need to just do this. But it is complex. My brother in law has also chosen to not acknowledge my legitimacy as part of their extended family . I could approach him or my sister in law. What their thinging is is beyond me. More musings this week on this.
    J
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    Jeff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2015 10:54 pm

    Re: one day

    Thu Mar 05, 2015 8:44 am

    Pain and suffering. The harder I try the harder it gets. But not gambling. Ain't going into all of this. Have some goals and tasks to complete and will soldier on. Need to achieve some key stuff or its all wreck and ruin and I and my family deserve better.
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