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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 2:35 pm
Maybe instead of a goal of days without gambling why not tally days that you didn't gamble. say you didn't gamble for 5 days than gambled one day you still didn't gamble for those five days. Might be a different way to look at it because as they say cutting something out takes small steps at a time. over two weeks maybe you slipped up twice, you still didn't gamble for twelve days. Could even reward yourself as you go?
Hope this helps,
Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:15 pm
Hi Keeton, thanks for your suggestion.
I basically didnt gamble once from May last year to the end of the year. Then did well... 2 months this year virtually without a bet. So in the last 9 months Ive gambled twice (sessions).
One Poker (Late December)
One Sportsbet (Late Feburary)
The poker one showed less self control than yesterday. Yesterday was kind of like... I can manage this now, I am on the road to recovery, let's have some fun. The whole excitement of 'counting days' wore off after about 200 and something, got really close to 300 i think.
I just know with this problem, although in the recent past we walk a fine line between addiction/compulsion and 'entertainment'. One minute I could be having an innocent flutter then BOOM, im betting $1000.
I think if I can stick to my annual gambling losses sticking to less than $500, that would be an achievement which is miraculous. That at least enables me to have some disciplined bets on my sports team for increased effort.
Can I go without... probably? Maybe I should and need to. Am I inviting future problems back in?
I will continue to try not to bet. But honestly if I can stick to $500 loss over 1 year.... I'd be probably saving $10-20k at a minimum on the last few yrs.
Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:04 pm
yeah I'm in a similar situation in that I could live without it. I have previously found that as you say, your mind plays tricks on you and says that you have controlled it now so once won't hurt or 'a bit of fun'. from experience this doesn't happen the way we initially thought. I see it as the way other addictions work, would a drug or alcohol addict be able to have a harmless one time? rarely? for me and most others it only takes one bet or 'fix' and those urges and uncontrollable highs come back and we relapse again and as you said you end up with the same drams again. Someone told me while back that as an addict we will always have the addiction inside us but we learn to manage it effectively throughtout our lives. While yes we can kid ourselves into thinking we are healed but for me it will always be on guard waiting to strike again.
great comments also,
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:34 pm
I think these are really relevant questions that many people struggle with... Can I just gamble for entertainment? Or do I have to give it away completely? I guess it can be a fine line, and it's different for different people. But one important thing it seems, is to be aware of the risks when entering into a gambling situation, and to put in strategies in place to limit and contain a planned gambling episode. The mind does indeed play tricks on us, and will find all sorts of ways to justify acting on an urge. So, even after a period of control, it seems crucial to remember where that can lead.
Sounds like things have been going well overall though! Good on you :)
All the best,
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 8:52 pm
I guess M_4567 you've been so good for so long, and i reckon you just probably best to make that $100 dalliance a little reminder of what you've liberated yourself from. In a year or more, it's just twice, and you have proved to yourself you can enjoy life and control gambling.
But be wary of slipping back into it. Just always think to what gambling did to you, and what it's done to us when we have done it. I have been into a venue about five times with a friend since stopping in April last year. I have not touched a machine, i have simply watched, Three times my friend lost about $500 and it was rather painful in some ways, and surprisingly boring. Now that i don't play, and a lot of the machines i used to play a lot are now not there, i have lost that attraction, even in watching them.
I was always a Aristocrat player, but these new double-shot ones at 5c a line just don't grab me at all. And few of the ones i would spend hundreds of dollars on in years gone by are there now. So when i am in there watching, i am just seeing spin after spin, $1 or $2 a spin, and nothing, nothing, nothing.
It's actually boring to watch!
Paradoxically i still sort of almost pine for the days of the turn of the millenium, i had taken a package from work, i only worked part time so i spent heaps of time at the Crown in Melbourne. I'd stay there for hours, playing machines, you name it. I found those days sort of exciting, even though there were days i'd lose $800, or $600 or $500. Crazy isn't it? Now, i just can't see myself doing that anymore. I haven't been up there since Mar 2012, and before that it was 2010. I was still addicted in my regional city though until last April. But stopping in that time, and seeing some of the old style machines go in favour of these new ones....it's like the lure and excitement that got me in has passed. I have no desire to play even when i am in.....indeed sometimes i may even nod off while watching!
So not sure in your case M_4567 whether it's the particular game that gets you or the act of having a gamble. In my case, i almost think it's the game itself. I mentioned in an older post how i grew up in the Galaga/space invaders era of the early 80's, and maybe my wont for electronic games graduated to pokies in the late 90's. This time with money as the lure to get you in. But combined with the disgust that i developed at myself for losing so much money over the years, and the replacement of the old familiar style games with unfamiliar and less compelling ones...it's been surprisingly easy to avoid playing them in this 320 game span.
So yeah, just watch out....nothing wrong with a dalliance, but any regularity that starts to creep in will envelop you back into the pokie/gambling fog. It's alluring, but it will get you. My friend's pokie play just reinforces the realism of it, his luck hasn't changed, and i am sure mine wouldn't either. Given it remained exclusively bad for 15 years, i just won't bother to start again only to find out the status quo.
Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 4:46 pm
Hi Dave, thanks for your reply.
I agree. However, I do find it hard to stick to a limit if there is any way around it, I will try my best to chase losses. The only way to bet for me will be small, insignificant amounts which will not ruin my life. A bit of interest so they say.
I have settled on having a $10 maximum bet on Sports matches and a $5 maximum bet for multis. See how it goes. (These are the limits Charlotte). I will monitor how it goes. Profit and loss and not exceed $500 in the calendar year.
I am really keen to keep my life productive, positive and enjoyable.
I am putting myself under a lot of financial pressure at the moment to save. Add work pressure and it is enough for me to do something stupid - like think punting is a good idea and get caught up in it. Limiting access to money is vital.
I am going to monitor this and see how it goes. If I can do it properly, I might even be able to turn a small profit over time.
I am not going to talk much more about 'gambling' as I know it is what a lot of people are trying to not only manage, but stop.
Another slip up will lead to total abstinence again and day counting.
Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2015 4:21 pm
Sounds like you're thinking really carefully about what you can put into place! Just my opinion (keen to hear what others think) but I might be careful of thoughts like 'I might be able to turn a small profit'. I'd be a bit worried where that thought could lead over time.... I dunno - what do you think?
Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 8:08 pm
After ups and downs and not being able to really stick within my set boundaries I have chosen to go back to abstinence.
I showed some signs of control while gambling but did lose more than what I wanted to on some occasions. While not huge amounts, it reiterated the need for me to stop again for a while.
I think I have shown some real growth but still have a long way to go if I am able to 'have a bet' and not invest more than I initially set out to.
Some downfalls for me:
-Kept credit card open which allowed gambling transactions (since closed)
-Opening new accounts when $100 (limit) was lost with online bookie.
-Setting $100 limit, but the site not putting it into effect. Meant I could deposit more than my limit I had in mind.
-Transferred money from savings to gamble (needed to have been transferred to account in 3rd party account with no link to card)
In my financial goal setting, it is important for me to go at least 100 days without gambling from here on in. Any losses result in me tightening up while trying to save more on top of an already large amount = mission impossible.
So step A for me is to do a 100 day challenge again.
Step B: Post here once step A is complete.
Thanks for reading/support.
I know that I am doing well, just not as well as I could!