Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Confidential. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Before you can post or reply, join our online community today.
  • Starting out again

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Michelle3
    Senior Member
    Posts: 108
    Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:02 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:29 pm

    Hi Amanda

    Hope your little dog is ok mate...I love my dog and still miss my 2 old dogs that died2 years ago..they are family never judge ...never complain...its the unconditional love....I think us humans can learn a lot for the four legged family members.

    Wishing you all the best mate...congrats on 15 days...doin great keep it up.
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:36 am

    Thanks Michelle,

    I am getting used to the idea that my doggie is now a bit disabled. Still not gambling but have my son here beside me which is great so won't post much, just the update.

    Have a great week xxx
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Tue Mar 11, 2014 6:23 am

    I just did some online banking, and was almost surprised to see the multiple withdrawals from the last gamble at the big club. It feels like so long ago now yet it is less than a month. How easy I forget. Gambling is not an option as I have a credit card or 2 that needs paying off and I am waiting for mortgage approval to come through.

    Gambling must distort time in a way, it almost doesn't feel like I did it. So glad to have the cold hard facts as a reminder in my bank statement.

    Glad to be ticking off the days not gambling. I haven't gotten my card for the bank that I can withdraw from back from my friend yet. Last time I just went to the bank and did an over the counter for $100, I almost took $200 but I thought better of it as I could go gambling with $200 but the $100 would be for things I can't put on my credit card. Funny though, I like to put everything through the card to track my spending and see where the money goes. Years ago I was only concerned with the money I had in my hand, I suppose I am gaining a bit of financial maturity.

    Work is still stressful but I am trying to do some relaxation and self care, have a massage booked tonight - I actually planned ahead for.

    I know I have had many slips along the way but I feel that if I persevere I can get there in the how ever many times that takes. I feel it is very important not to beat myself up and give up on trying.

    If I can do it then you can too.
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Thu Mar 20, 2014 7:40 am

    Still not gambling since the 16th Feb. Waiting to hear if my mortgage is approved today and taking my dog to the neurologist. He has probable disk disease and has trouble in his front and rear legs, can't stand up for long.

    I had a huge cry on Monday night and thanked my dog for being in my life and for all the love that he has given us. I don't normally cry so I feel it was quite cathartic.

    My friend had a dog with similar problems and spent over 7k on CT scan and operation and then they still couldn't fix it. She had him put down as he lost quality of life. I am feeling a lot of guilt, all the money I have wasted in the past gambling could have paid for heaps of surgery but the position I am in now, money will be tight for a while till I pay off my credit card debt and get a house to live in and then for a while.

    My focus will be on getting rid of the credit card debt completely. I have transfered an old debit over with a 0% interest balance transfer. I really have no "spare" money to gamble. My urges seem to have gone, thank god, hopefully they will stay away. I realise this is a very stressful time and I might get a sudden urge to escape which I will fight with all my power.

    Hope you are going strong x
    0 x
    Tony5
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 7:47 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Thu Mar 20, 2014 5:10 pm

    Good to read your post Amanda and the fact that you are still gamble free.

    Hope the situation with your dog turns out okay and do I no, exactly what you mean about the guilt we go through particually when unexpected expenses arise. I am hoping these feelings will improve as we get ourselves out of this mess.

    Regards and strength to every one who never want to gamble again.
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:06 am

    Thanks Tony,
    Well the good news is my doggy is improving everyday, still a bit wobbly. Not disk disease but another nervous system thing that the neurologist knew and no medications or operations required. That was quite stressful.

    Still not gambling since 16th Feb, funny though sometimes when I think of not gambling I think of me sitting at a machine playing so I try not to think of it too much in case I am triggered to go.

    Soo $10k in credit card debit and 15k extra in mortgage to redraw. I need to buckle down and pay the debt off. I already got one card I don't use transferred to a 0% balance transfer. I slipped into not taking my lunch to work and need to get back on track, all those little expenses could be paying off my debt. That said I am socialising this week with friends and will buy some meals out, to counteract the stress.

    I got slack on the not smoking and was having puffs while wearing patches a bit when stressed and more when drinking. So far none since Monday and no patches 2 days. It's no drinking for me for a while to establish this (hope I don't buckle at the margarita place on Friday night). That should save at least $40 a week.

    Mortgage has been conditionally approved, and I am finding house hunting stressful. I am looking at the low end of the market and the houses have a lot of problems. Got a new valuation on my country house and it has not gone up a cent in value. At least the rent pays the mortgage.

    Quite a lonely thing this financial responsibility, no one in my family owns a home or lives in this state so they can't help me. I did find a helpful builder who told me he would just bulldoze a house I was looking at. So in a way I have to reach out to others which is better for me than isolating.

    Oh I haven't heard from my Gambling counsellor again, I missed her call and rang back and they couldn't find my record oh well at least it's confidential

    Hope you are going well. x
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:18 pm

    Woah money stuff. Mortgage broker said his software was a bit out and I couldn't afford the house I just put a bid on and and was accepted. I had to take out a personal loan to make it meet.

    While cringing about all the money I have wasted in the past, I had an urge to gamble - yep wanted to take 1,000 and do big bets - "to see what came up".
    Total madness I know. Almost 2 months off it then bang, in comes the urge, the creeping thoughts. Definitely not going today, pjs are on.

    I was embarrassed as the bank person looked at my online accounts, I was worried they would know I was a gambler by the multiple withdrawals in one night at the RSL's

    Hopefully everything will go through and I can have a house to move into sometime in June. It's probably the stress that is triggering me. I have a week of holiday so I can chill out a bit.

    Cheers
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:26 am

    Enjoyed my week off work greatly, spent time with my son. I am in the process of buying a house and it is a bit stressful. A lot of reminders about being responsible and accountable with my money. I had quite strong urges to gamble a few days ago. They were totally ridiculous as I really need every cent to help move and set up my space in the house. I try to think about what could I buy or do with $1,000. If I went gambling I would think of the amount as not too much. If I needed to get something repaired, purchase something.... I think of it as a lot of money.

    I am off work sick with "flu", headachey , burning up inside, yuckiness...and the neighbours are using chainsaws, at least 2

    Very grateful to be able to buy this house, hoping to be more financially aware and maybe even get a budget. Also pleased to be continuing not to gamble since 16th Feb.

    Hope you are doing well xx
    0 x
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Mon May 19, 2014 7:17 am

    Busted 2 weeks ago after strong urges and then I kidded myself it wasn't too bad as I won, then I went back the next week and did the same with a couple of flutters. Then the inevitable loss Sat and Sun. Last night it was $1,500 as I took the 500 cash and was only going to use that but then hit the cash card machine. I am so glad the limit is $1,000 a day for withdrawals as I just kept going back.

    So remorseful today, bad dreams last night. No real triggers I can think of except buying the house has been stressful and so is work. I suppose I am grateful for the emotional pain as i will use it to stop again.

    I am heading to an accountant financial advisor today as I need to work out what my budget is and how to properly arrange my affairs.

    Also need to stop the overeating, drinking and I started smoking again mid last week. Yep need to get my **** together.

    I think I forgot to be grateful that I wasn't gambling and had stopped smoking, I need to remember these things. I am glad that I did manage to go almost to 3 months off and if I did it then I can do it again. xxx
    0 x
    User avatar
    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:53 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Tue May 20, 2014 6:39 pm

    Hey Amanda! Sounds like it's been touch lately but I'm with you - if can do it for 3 months you can definitely do it again! Hope the accountant meeting goes well and I'm cheering you on from the sidelines! Noah
    0 x

    Return to “Change Makers”