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  • Starting out again

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    Starting out again

    Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:00 am

    Ok Here I go

    Pokie gambler for over 30 years, don't steal or borrow but I waste my own money. Could be so much further ahead. Binge last Wed night where I spent $800 and then I was strongly tempted to try a bigger club I haven't been to. Ended up driving home telling myself that there will always be clubs I haven't been to, I can't use that as an excuse. Gambling is in direct conflict with my value of financial security. So it really has no place in my life. I want to do the 100 day challenge to break the habit to get new things to do that are more creative and constructive. I want to use my money to help me get set up in time for retirement in 15 years.

    Cheers
    Amanda
    0 x
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    BriM
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:05 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:28 am

    Hi Amanda

    Nice to 'meet' you. Thanks for reaching out. It's great that you recognise how gambling conflicts with your values, and great that you were able to talk yourself out of going to a new club last week. I know it's hard to tell via text but I get a good gut feeling about your journey towards recovery!! Do you know why you gamble in the first place? I would be interested to know...

    Bri
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    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:37 pm

    I get a feeling to go gambling, almost like I need a little explosion in my life. A bit of lights and sounds.
    I know that I will have to pay for it.
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    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:14 am

    Still not gambling which is great. I went to the work Christmas party at a club and I could hear that damn pokie music and was a bit worried but managed to stay social and not sneak off (yes I have done that before). Very glad that so far I am staying off them. I am trying to tell myself that the clubs ruin financial security and I want to establish myself financially. so hopefully that will work. I drank a little too much last night and that is also something I will have to monitor.
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    User avatar
    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:53 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:51 pm

    Hi Amanda,

    Thanks for keeping in touch and letting us know how you're going... and good on you for avoiding temptation!

    Reinforcing in yourself your value system and figuring out what actions do/do not fit in with that system I think is a wonderful strategy. Helps you to connect more with who you really are!

    How are you finding the 100 day challenge program?

    Noah
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    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:12 am

    I just worked out that my first gamble free day was 5th of December, no gambling since then. I get urges when I drive past clubs and see new bigger clubs, like "you haven't tried here yet" I was also thinking about gambling when the dates were 13/12/13, some one else said dates were lucky so I have remembered that and used to use it as an excuse.

    There is a weird thing about gambling where the money does not seem real when I spend it, pulling a couple of hundred out at a time. Yet when I have to pay for something will think, that's too expensive . Say you were to tell me I could have a luxury weekend with massages and a wonderful time for $800 I probably wouldn't do it but in 3 mins of thinking I will keep withdrawing over a night and spend that on gambling.

    Having said that I am looking at getting a kayak, hoping that I will actually use it The cheaper ones are $399, will I spend $800 No.

    I have also noted that I have been drinking a bit more over this time, so I will watch that, (literally.) I log my daily drinks on Abstar so I can see what is happening for the month, no kidding myself there.

    Wed night I invited a couple of friends over for a BBQ, that was a good idea as the week has been broken up. I would often find myself at pokies mid week, but I can't go if I have a prior engagement I am needed at.

    I really need to get some other activities into my life as I have only phone data at this place, no wifi to download movie series which is what I used to do. Time to get some New Years resolutions happening.

    Cheers
    Amanda
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    Veronica (facilitator)
    Junior Member
    Posts: 27
    Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 3:15 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Fri Dec 20, 2013 2:59 pm

    Amanda,

    Great to see the diversity of your thinking about alternative activites to the pokies.

    When I read you were about to buy a Canoe I thought "wow - what a great idea!"

    You sound like you are doing some really serious thinking and planning.

    Any ideas of where you will take your canoe?

    Veronica
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    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Sun Dec 22, 2013 5:23 am

    There are some people that kayak that I know and areas around here that they hire them so I thought I would try there.

    Some how I know I will find it very awkward at first and I will be self conscious but I know that is what happens at the start of something new and I have to push through it to get to that "comfortable" stage. - Just writing that made me aware that sitting in front of a pokie machine anywhere is one of my comfort places, never thought about that before. Big price to pay for that kind of comfort though.

    Strangely after posting in the morning about not wanting to go to the new club I had decided by midday that I would go and spend $200 (usually spend more), by the end of the day the aircon had broken at work and it was stinking hot, I had started thinking about drinking alcohol and getting quite thirsty (drank 3 glasses of water). Ended up getting 2 bottles of wine and going straight home to the pool and knocked a bottle off. Did not go to the pokies and had a hangover yesterday which kept me home. I was thinking yesterday how sad, a hangover is preferable to going out to the pokies. Nothing to drink yesterday and back in the land of the living today. Pulling my head in again with the drinking. In the end I know drinking too much is not good but I really need to break this gambling cycle.

    cheers
    0 x
    User avatar
    Angelina.
    Senior Member
    Posts: 326
    Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:43 pm

    RE: Starting out again

    Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:36 am

    Dear Amanda,

    Merry Christmas


    Just checking in to see how the kayaking went?


    Warm regards,
    Angelina
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    AmandaB
    Member
    Posts: 77
    Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:53 am

    RE: Starting out again

    Wed Dec 25, 2013 5:29 am

    Merry Christmas to all here, thanks for the support and encouragement.

    So very happy to have my children with me on Christmas day.
    The kayak has had a few goes around the dam and it's a lot of fun. Need to get back to the shop and get some racks for the roof as it takes up most of the space in the car and no room for passengers.

    Grateful to be still not gambling. Bank accounts still seem to be behind so it may take a little while to correct from spending what I thought of as excess money at the time.
    0 x

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