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  • Identifying My Triggers

    Chart your progress in working to overcome your gambling concerns and your ongoing recovery. Inspire others & take us all on your road to recovery!
    iorek65
    Junior Member
    Posts: 5
    Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2019 12:14 pm

    Identifying My Triggers

    Thu Mar 07, 2019 1:18 pm

    My triggers to blow money gambling in the Forex/Online Markets:

    Feeling happy/experiencing a great time after a show (I perform/teach music) -- the feelings of confidence from feeling good about life ... "see? Life is going great, why not add this too?" ... Euphoria and a feeling of exaggerated confidence/distortion of effort vs. result

    Boredom ... I say I don't know how to deal with this ... but I think the reality is that gambling itself rewires one to perceive life as boring and gambling as not ... it's like self biological brainwashing ... there's nothing truly "unpredictable" or exciting about taking huge risks in the unknown, because the result is in fact predictable: It always ends in disaster ... the thrill is an illusion ... the excitement a lie ... the empowerment a facade ... everything about gambling being an alleviation to boredom is a lie ... If I really thought about it, I would realize so much deep happiness peace and even excitement/fun in making my life more predictable instead of the worn out excitement of self manufactured unpredictable outcomes ...(I feel like i'm ranting and raving against the false thoughts/lies the urges produce and want to smash those thoughts/rationalized distortions into pieces ... feels freeing to say all this)

    Aching sadness/memories of depression. These can actually be nurtured and fulfilled by so many other things/activities I have interest in ... cooking/experimenting with food, practicing music, teaching music, exploring new interests, traveling etc.

    Urge to move/travel ... I told myself long time ago i would trade/become a great trader so that I could move around/travel more ... I think I have this inner desire to move my body and express it in the things i love (music, dance, cooking, etc.), but told myself "when i make more money/when i get good at trading, then i'll do those things" ... over time it seems my natural physiological impulses to do healthy freeing expressing things with my body (and mind) get channeled into that urge to check a market/watching the price tick ...

    Staring at prices fluctuate ... there's something incredibly mind numbing and distasteful about this, yet it triggers this mind numbing feeling of becoming less interested in the things I'm actually passionate about ... the longer i stare at price tick, the feelings of connection/interest in real life itself decrease and the urge to place a bet to experience the fake high increases ... it's very much a "in my head" kind of feeling like going into a room of darkness in my head and the feelings of being able to control my body at all begin to fade/dissipate. Very numbing and self destructive. Like being a person looking down at my body with distaste/not being able to accept/connect to its vital functions. Sometimes a first step for me getting out of this has been slow mind-body-spirit qi gong exercises, but that feeling of still being "frozen" or stopped inside and the original impulse to do what I know is right getting re-routed into a disconnected mind numbed bet tends to be there/creep in anyway. I find this also tends to increase the amount of time I'm stuck in my head imagining myself doing the things I really want to do instead of doing them. Again it's something that requires a total flip/polarity shift ... If i get out of my head and jump on doing these healthy things, I'll start feeling better and better ... gambling/the urge to do what harms me is what should stay "in the head" as something numbed/frozen. My, that would be heavenly bliss

    Anger/resentment ... Resentment toward people from the past or feelings of resentment toward humanity tend to trigger isolated feelings and cravings to put myself in that disconnected state/put a bet on ... if I calm my mind and focus on forgiveness/compassion and wise navigation of my life with acceptance then I've tended to handle this better in the past.


    I dunno why but just being on this forum a short few minutes as motivated me to write all this out and I don't even think I understood these triggers/had the motivation too before. The big key seems to be to get out of my head when i feel that impulse to do something I know is right (don't second guess), and get the urges to act on bad things (which automatically happen as expression in body) out of my body and into that "frozen place" in my head where they can't move. Flip!

    I hope this helps.

    Much love and support to fellow folks out there -- let's kick these cravings and do more of what we really love with our lives.
    3 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 282
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 4:01 pm

    Re: Identifying My Triggers

    Mon Mar 11, 2019 1:21 pm

    Hello @iorek65 ,

    Im Calvin, one of the facilitators.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences.
    You've shown great insight and self-awareness. Your post really encapsulates your experiences of gambling and its impacts in all different areas of your life.

    Have you considered getting some counselling support ?

    Gamblers help have both therapeutic counselors and financial counsellors.
    1 x

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