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Relationship problems when you stop

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:28 pm
by Tim78
Hello,Am a month in! Feel like my confidence is coming back and I am determined to not go back to gambling. I can feel that things are starting to get back in my control...debt is decreasing (I know that it's going to take time), my sleep is improving and just feel like a better person. My greatest problem at this point is my relationship with my girlfriend...we've been together 8 years. It just seems like I can't do anything right at the moment...she seems permanently angry with me. She gets annoyed over trivial things like parking the car...it feels like we are constantly arguing at the moment and at any opportunity she brings up the issue of my gambling and makes me feel bad. It really hurts and I am constantly struggling with keeping myself on an even keel, trying to stay positive and not focus on all the damage that my gambling has caused. I am really scared that our relationship has been damaged forever and will never get back to what it used to be.

RE: Relationship problems when you stop

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:12 pm
by Angie
Tim you are doing really well though. Why is she so angry with you when you have stopped?

RE: Relationship problems when you stop

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 3:54 pm
by Veronica (facilitator)
Tim,

You say you have been in a relationship for 8 years and you confessed your gambling a month ago. Perhaps your girlfriend has a right to be angry. She might even be a bit confused. After all she thought she was in a relationship with a person who has turned out to be someone else entirely.

I know you hve given up for a month and that is great but hey it is a month of honesty compared with 8 years of dishonesty! So how are you demonstrating your honesty to her now? What are you doing to get her to trust you again?

Its my guess that you have a bit of relationship work to do as well as managing your debts.

Would like to hear how you go with it.

Veronica