Day 2 - longest I have had off for a long time!!!
Fairly new to the group but so glad I joined... day 2 for me today and payday. My grip is online betting (horses, dogs, harness racing) . So easily accessible on my phone- and also easy to hide like I was playing games if someone cane near me I'd switch screens to look like I was playing an innocent game of Candy Crush ðŸ™„ðŸ™„
How sneaky and deceitful this problem makes me. Yesterday was easier than today, but I did it! For the longest time that I can remember , I have not Siena a cent on gambling. My Betting account must have gone into shock as I received an email stating they had given me a $25 bonus bet to use! Sneaky sneaky sneaky! I have blocked all betting apps and installed the gamblock app on my phone. Nights I would spend moody and distant, kranky with everyone around me that my horses weren't winning, or that I missed out by a photo for finish on a Trifecta... I could be spending over $500 a night ... it's so depressing- but I didn't do it tonight!!!
Might not seem much to some people but for me it's a precious milestone. As my babies lay peacefully sleeping tucked up in bed , I regret what I have taken away from them, but promise to try and pay every cent back. I went for a job interview today, for a second job and I got it!! It's weekend work - should keep me busy as I'd only be at home watching the Races secretly anyway.
I feel like my whole life I've been chasing the losses, 20 years of gambling, I started on the pokies at 18 and then moved onto horse racing. The money that I have blown I have no clue but it's ALOT!! I do dwell on it some days , but have decided to see that part of my life as a chapter that has now closed. I can't go back and rewrite my past but I'm determined to write one hell of a future.
This support group has given me much support and I've loved going through other people's stories as we are all in this together. The loneliness of a gambling addict is unbearable. To look at - no one would ever guess I was an Addict but I am. Or was. Time will tell.
Here's to Day 3 tomorrow - the longest stint since I can remember.