Life is worth fighting for
For those who don't know i have been gambling since I turned 18 (which was pretty much since I was legally allowed to bet. My form of destruction has been poker machines. my gambling started out as entertainment like most people but over time as I kept trying to get the winning feeling alive i would do anything to keep playing pokies including stealing, lying, and generally spending pretty much all or majority of my money. ]
Before I was gambling i was a very loved and kind individual who lived life happily and had fun doing it. Once i started gambling, things were slowly taken away from me.
I could go on all day about what gambling has done to me but the gyst of it is that it has given me absolutely nothing but heartache, depression and anger.
6 years later today and my life is actually on a positive road. all along i have wanted to stop playing pokies but I just kept tellint myself that I could control how much I could spend on gambling. That will never happen as when I start winning or losing i dont stop until all my money is gone.
last week after losing most of my weekly wages gambling again, I just needed somebody to talk to so I rang the gambling helpline (1800 858 858) so I could talk about my situation and for some advice. They were really helpful asnd it was just nice to chat to someone who doesn't judge and could give me the support that i desperately needed all along. After letting it all out a part of me had changed and I felt a sense of calm and relief that someone actually was there to talk to.
After that day which was 5 days ago I have just been so much happier because i have gotten the support that can help me fight this horrible addiction. since then I have been enjoying myself such as going to the gym, colouring in (good with music haha), and playing games. I have gone more places such as go out with friends on a friday night and visit my family for some quality time. those are the things that are worth fighting for.
I have found that my mind has expanded in a way i haven't seen in years. i get excited about the endless possibilities and things i can do if i don't gamble.
As I said to onE of the councellors 'IT'S TIME TO STEP OUT OF THE GAMING ROOM AND MOVE ON'
I know It won't be easy to change a habit that i have had for so long but I know that i can do it... we all can.. i just had to believe in myself again and get the much needed support that was keeping me going back week after week.
Best wishes to all. keep fighting this terrible addiction.. YOU CAN DO IT!
Til next time,