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can I see the light

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can I see the light

Postby pamela » Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:24 am

For years I have had a gambling problem..and I have hated it every day.But I have decided this week enough is enough.I am sick of the lies and the hurt and all the pain that goes with being a gambler.And tonight I am so proud because it is a pay week and I had a great night out with some workmates.and best of all..I didnt stop on the way home and blow all my pay on the pokies..And it feels good..I hope I can keep doing it..I am going to face to face counselling next week..I hope that this time I will win and not the pokies..fingers crossed
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Re: can I see the light

Postby Kerry » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:17 pm

Hi Pamela. Checking in to see how your week is progressing? It's been a good one for me and hopefully the same for you. 7 gamble free days. Hopefully you are sticking to your challenge. Tough as it is.
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Re: can I see the light

Postby pamela » Sun Aug 02, 2015 5:05 pm

Hi kerry..so far so good..glad to hear you are doing well..7 days..good job..it is tough yet I feel really good and when I drove past my fave haunt today I didnt feel that rush.It is only early days but I am determined this time.Be proud of what you have achievedfWhat do you do when the urge strikes?
Stay on track :)
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Re: can I see the light

Postby Kerry » Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:09 am

Great going Pamela. You asked a really good question "what do I do when the urge strikes?" Sounds a little silly but - I downloaded the Shannon Noll song "Lift" Each and every time I start my car - I play that song. The words in that song just seem so relevant to my situation. I think i kind of brain wash myself and have made this song a constant reminder of where I've been and where I don't ever want to be. "It's time to move on - your life is calling" "You've got to let go - you took a hit - time to pick up now - and move on from this" Add this to my mantra - "CHASE THE CHALLENGE - NOT THE WIN" kind of empowers me a little. This forum is a great reality check for all of us. It makes me happy to hear that fellow gambling addicts are taking little steps and succeeding in their own little challenges. Keep up the good work.
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Re: can I see the light

Postby pamela » Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:38 am

Thats a great song Kerry to help you on the road to betterment.I dont have a song I play..I have a sticker in my car that simply says "You will not".that is so far working for me.Plus, reading all these stories on here has made me so determined.I hope we can keep it up.Power to us .
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Re: can I see the light

Postby AnnaB (facilitator) » Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:09 pm

Power to you indeed! So great to hear you both sounding so determined. Thanks for the great ideas too :D
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Re: can I see the light

Postby pamela » Mon Aug 03, 2015 11:26 pm

Thanks Anna.. it isn't going to be easy I am sure but I will give it my best shot and support others along the way
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Re: can I see the light

Postby pamela » Sun Sep 13, 2015 6:14 pm

Today I went to a pub for lunch with my partner and my brother.Normally when I walk past a pokie room I would get little flutters in my stomach and wish I could get my hands on some coins and sit mindlessly in front of a machine.Today as I walked past I didn't feel anything really, just looked at the people sitting there and thought foolish things.And then I put them out of my mind for the rest of the afternoon where normally I would have been thinking about playing them, So..we can change the way we think .and I hope it van continue to be like this Day 46 and going strong
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Re: can I see the light

Postby pamela » Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:15 am

Today I really struggled with the demons and I was edgy and irritable all morning but I did not put one cent in a machine but I wanted to.And this is what I have trouble dealing with as I always turned to them for entertainment if I was upset/angry/happy.I really struggled but didn't give in but instead of feeling happy I feel cheated.Doesn't make sense but at least I didn't give in
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Re: can I see the light

Postby GameChanger (facilitator) » Thu Sep 17, 2015 5:03 pm

Hi Pamela, really well done to resist the pull of the pokies even in the face of those circulating demons and also to walk past them without experiencing those tell-tale signs of butterflies in the stomach. Really tangible signs that there has been shift in your thinking. Keep up the wonderful work of taking things day by day and watching the number of days accumulate.
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