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I really blew it last night!

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I really blew it last night!

Postby CC » Tue Jun 19, 2018 6:57 pm

I made 3 weeks and then blew it. So disappointed and feel that nothing can stop this. I begged and pleaded with myself. I told myself that my husband deserved better than to be at work, sick with the flu, working overtime and trying to make up for me not working and to have his trusted wife, sitting in front of a poker machine, spending more money in 3 hrs than he can earn in a 6 day week! I am so ashamed and desperate to stop this! :(
CC
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Re: I really blew it last night!

Postby suz-free » Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:28 pm

Hi CC,
I know exactly how you feel. I tried so hard in the past, reached day 25 & then relapse after relapse. Now I'm doing the challenge again, day 6 almost over, bring on day 7 as I'm ready to try again. l know you'd be feeling quite low right now but don't look back, throw what happened behind your shoulder & start over. All your relapses happen for a reason, it makes you stronger each time from your triggers, you'll be more aware of how to ignore the urges, you'll recognise your patterns. I cried one week ago, today I'm feeling a lot happier. A lot of good can happen in just 6 days. Just do the challenge again dear friend, tell yourself that you can't afford to lose anymore, be positive, stay strong, you'll get there.

Suzy
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Re: I really blew it last night!

Postby JinxyWolf » Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:57 pm

Hi CC and Suz-Free,

I know how tough it can be after a lapse, you feel like your right back where you started but this is far from the truth. Although lapses can be heartbreaking they are not a failure either. We only truly fail when we stop trying.

You have to understand that there is a difference between a lapse and a complete relapse. A Relapse is when we stop trying, when we give up and give into old habits and decide that we don't care anymore.

Where as, a lapse is just a stumble along the road to being gamble free, we often lapse on our way to beating this addiction but it's how you handle it that will define the rest of your journey. Why did you lapse? what was happening in your life? What was the trigger for the lapse? take a step back and answer these questions, knowing the answer will help you avoid lapses in the future. But if they do happen and they might, you'll find that they become less frequent and the time between lapses will get longer.

Just remember you got 3 weeks under your belt and that is an achievement. Acknowledge your successes, don't just dwell on your lapses.

There is light at the end of this tunnel, reach for it, you both deserve it.

JinxyWolf
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Re: I really blew it last night!

Postby Calvin (facilitator) » Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:52 pm

Hello CC,

I'm Calvin, one of the facilitators here on Gamblers Help Online.
Many people do experience these lapses on their journey to becoming free from gambling.
3 weeks is a tremendous effort and its good to give yourself credit for this as this shows that you are trying.
Sometimes we need a bit more support throughout this journey. I would reccommend that you call gamblers helpline 1800 858 858 to speak with a gambling counsellor and they can even provide you with a referral to a gambling counsellor.
In the mean time you can evaluate what your triggers and urges are and what you can replace the gambling with.

Kind regards,

Calvin
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