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i dont know what to do

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i dont know what to do

Postby craigt » Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:47 pm

Good Evening
i am married 50 years of age have accrued $50000 of debt due to gambling , i have 6 short term payday loans juggling. i have a $10000 debt on my wife's card she doesn't know about and owe my mate $20000 i pay this off every fortnight i gamble to get the loans payed of then get more loans more in debt i have an ok wage and every week i stress . my wife knows i gamble knows i have a problem i dont know what to do Also have 3 active credit cards all maxed out
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Re: i dont know what to do

Postby DFP » Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:24 am

Hi there. I think a good place to start is to use the counselling service offered here, and be guided to a financial consultant.
When I first truly accepted and admitted that I had a gambling problem (which was years after I had realised that I had a problem) I attended GA. I was very scared initially, but it was the most incredible support, being with people who understood the madness of what we do to ourselves as problem gamblers. And they were a great help. Key messages were:
- you need to forever accept that you have a problem with gambling; you will never be cured but you can learn to control your thoughts and stop; and if you don't quit your life will forever be unmanageable.
- be honest with your loved ones about everything, and moving forward seek their support to stay accountable and honest;
- limit access to cash and credit cards; it was gambling that got you into this mess and it won't get you out of it (it will only get you into deeper mess). If possible get your partner to control all finance, and give you a small allowance to live on; stay honest and accountable on how you spend this.

All the very best. Be brave, make a start. And keep posting your progress.

Always a 'work in progress'
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Re: i dont know what to do

Postby Jasmine » Sun Feb 11, 2018 7:30 am

Hi Craìg,
DFP's advice is certainly a good start. It is a disease we have and we need a professional help. I couldn't agree more about gambling will only put you deeper in a mess. I used to juggle the debt payment by gambling and only to find out that it created more troubles to me. We just have to be patient (which I found very hard) as it will take months or years to pay off the debt. The dream of winning to pay the debt doesn't exist.

I share your pain and I hope you seek help from a counsellor.
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Re: i dont know what to do

Postby Mona58 » Sun Feb 11, 2018 8:26 am

Hi Graig,

STOP! seek help! Gamb helpline 1800 858 858

Long tough road ahead of you! But it Will be worth it!

Those debts will hurt for a long time ... this I say from what I'd learnt in the forums. But when you Quit Gambling... if you stay fighting and stay strong.... Life Will be much more pleasant...:-not perfect... but liveable and manageable!

Mona... 16 Weeks GF (120 days)
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: i dont know what to do

Postby Dave68 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 10:20 pm

G'day Craig. I know the feeling, as i had wracked up over 70K in short term debts like credit cards and lines of credit at the time i realised i was heading into the abyss (actually probably the bottom of the abyss) in 2014.

I had to stop, I had to accept that i was just no good at playing the stupid machines. So often i'd be in there playing my machine which would do next to nothing, but seem to be surrounded by everyone else getting features and handpays. I kept blaming my bad luck, and wondering why i kept losing. BUt eventually after kind of talking to myself for months while i delivered my morning deliveries for two hours every day, i had to accept that it's how things would always be if i kept gambling.

28 years of gambling, about 15 of those playing pokies, and never once the five wilds on a payline. Not once winning an amount over $1000 that required a cheque payout....That was a rule that didn't think about crappy gamblers like me!! But the continual losing, and all that debt, my pay wasn't even covering the repayments, and i was crazy to think it would change if after all those spins in 15 years of pokie play that anything but continuing to lose would be the response.

I did get angry at myself, my foolishness for continuing to go in, and for working hard for my money yet letting it be wasted without any effort. I'd think about how i'd scrimp at the supermarket and at NQR, only for me to be pound foolish and lose hundreds on the machines. I recall times when i had two tenants at my place..i get the rent for the fortnight from both, over $500...and go in and lose it all!! How stupid, especially when that was a short term situation, and those tenants have long since moved out. Indeed it was shortly after the second one moved that i did stop, It was a cathartic moment for me as my income would drop by $300 a fortnight. I had to change.

So it is with you, however long you have been gambling Craig, it's only ever put your head in the debt noose. And while i still owe a lot, i have at least been able to consolidate that into my mortgage, so my repayments are lower and i am making some ground now. Even after almost 4 years, it's a hell of a long slow process, and unless you earn a huge income it probably will be for you. But realise that your hard work and income deserves to be treated with respect, not thrown down a machine's chute.

And while not everyone may agree with my 'nicotine patch' i do play the free Facebook pokie apps, which do actually replicate the excitement i always had playing the machines, but with no penalty of losing cash. It's reality is highlighted by the fact i generally always lose, i always end up losing my tokens and have to build back up with the hourly re-loads. It actually reinforces to me that i lack the talent to play the real ones....it's a reality check for me because if i can't even win playing the freebies....i ain't going to win playing for money. They work for me, i've been off for 4 years in April. But i know i can't go back to the real ones, they take your money mercilessly and spit you out at the end.

Good luck taking this big step to quit, all of us really are in similar situations, so take some advice from all of us..there's many ways to help you through this. Best wishes on your journey to recovery from gambling.
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