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First step

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Re: First step

Postby Dan32 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:34 am

DFP wrote:Hi Dan
I agree with advice provided by others. Including that it is going to be a hard, constant road to recovery. I personally see my problem gambling as a disease which cannot be cured (it is an inherent vulnerability that is part of my personality) BUT I am able to control it. Day by day, one day at a time.

The first step is to admit you have a serious problem - and you now have reached that conclusion. Are you able to be honest with others about it? Being accountable is important as is honesty.

For gambling (pokies) to take place you need three things to be present:
- a venue
- time
- money
Think of it like a three leg stool. Take one of those away, and the stool falls over. So take away one of these three factors, and gambling on the pokies can't take place. Now there are venues everywhere (but self exclusion may help); you will always find time (but being busy with other interests helps); so the easiest one to take away is limiting access to your money. Without that access you can't gamble much. And I find I don't have urges if I know I only have a small amount of $ on me.

I limit access by always planning ahead. I have a credit card that has a 'no cash withdrawal' enabled. The vast majority of my expenditure I can put on a credit card (especially now with 'tap and go'). I'll carry a small amount of cash in case. If there is ever a time I need more cash, then I plan specifically for that time and use the cash straightaway for that purpose - not have a large amount in my wallet.

Whenever I have fallen off the wagon, it has always been if I have access to cash (and time on my hands).

Good luck with your journey. Keep posting.



Thanks so much for taking the time to post all that DFP.

I’m glad I came on here. I’ve never admitted to anyone I have a problem, as like I mentioned I’ve always made sure all my bills were done but as I feel myself putting more and more through, how long will that last? I’d be withdrawing 2 or 3 times an arvo so probably not long.

The feeling of optimism when is put a new $50 in then spend the next 2 minutes shaking my head as it goes down with no feature as if I’d been ripped off...I know my odds but do it time after time.

I’m working this weekend to keep me busy, as mentioned back at the gym full time is my plan and hopefully that take out one of the stool legs. Venue wise, there is about 6 or 7 I use and I’m almost embarrassed to go back knowing they all know my face so hopefully that is enough to keep me away too.

Thanks for the reply and good luck.
Dan32
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Re: First step

Postby Dan32 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:42 am

Mona58 wrote:l can't say much more than what has already been said.

The answer to the question on what are you looking for? Was / Is simply support and understanding. Its much much harder to break the addiction alone.

It is hard to break any addiction without the support of people who have experienced same. I found that knowing what is going to happen helps to be prepared, in sorts. It does not lessen the experience (of urges) itself but knowing what it is... what is happening mentally & physically ...gives power of control back to you... Fighting urges becomes easier over time... but how long before it becomes easier .. I can't answer. After 108 day GF I'm still "expecting" urges. I don't have strong urges at present but they still pop up in my thoughts out of "habit" l presume. At the moment I am able to simply remind myself that I don't gamble anymore and go about whatever l am doing. I am now finding enjoyment in everything I do ... It feels really really nice to be gamble free!

All the best on your journey to a Gamble free life!

Mona


Hi Mona

Yes, a lot has been said and I’m extremely grateful. For people to sit there taking time to reply to me is a nice feeling.

I’m feeling much more optimistic today compared to when I posted yesterday afternoon. To Andrew what I’m looking for, yesterday I just got back in my car after another loss and googled “ quitting pokies” and saw this link. I read a few stories, then decided to post mine. I have read some depressing things, situations much worse than mine, and I have a few bad stories of my own which I might share to get off my chest later today when I get time but I’m trying to focus on getting there myself before I try to offer anyone any sort of advice.

It really is a habit. I go out with friends and I can’t sit there without a bet on something. Then I’ll go to the toilet via the pokies and smash through what I can before it looks sus. It’s terrible.

I really don’t want to tell my partner about it, I’m in a complicated situation relationship wise. But the last thing I need is her knowing. I think she’d support me but i know years ago she left an ex who’d lose all their money.

Early days but I’ll keep posting and reading. I’m glad I found this place.
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Re: First step

Postby Jasmine » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:18 am

Hi Dan,
I am in my early 40s and started my gambling when I migrated to Aus when I was 26. I never gambled before but I bet big at the casino ($10k+). Then I stopped gambling after I met my husband at my 30. I never been back until three years ago when I had a clash at work. I was so stressed and down with the bullies I got from my boss (I resolved the situation later on). From that time to now I have been on and off with pokies as I banned myself from the casino. I am now 13 days GF and hope I can stay away as many years as last time.
I suggest you look at your bank statement. Last month, I looked at mine and it made me sick in my stomach. How many times it shows the withdrawals to feed the pokies. It is so insane when I think of how someone could do this.
Last edited by Jasmine on Wed Jan 31, 2018 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: First step

Postby Dan32 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:58 am

That sounds terrible Jasmine, but at least you’re on the right track.

Just reading what you wrote about checking my bank account made me feel sick. I can only imagine what it looks like.

About 6 months ago I received a bit of an inheritance, about $25k. I put it into a separate account and thought I’d buy a few things, spend some on a tattoo I’ve been planning, upgrade a few tools, and keep some for the holiday I planned over Xmas ect.

I kept withdrawing over and over for the pokies. One day I was in Myer just buying some clothes, I thought I’d have a look at the account as I hate looking. $3250 was all that was left. I was shaking , didn’t eat for the rest of the day. Had to go home and just sat there with my partner in silence. I thought that was my lowest but nope, next day I was back.

I feel sick thinking about it, I mean my own money at least I work for but that was given to me and I blew it. I’ll never get over that.

Anyway good luck with the journey. Only way I’d up I guess...
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Re: First step

Postby Dan32 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 5:11 pm

Ok so I made it home without drama. Went to the gym like I promised myself.

It did cross my mind, but to be honest it just made me feel sick the thought of it. I hope it stays that way and i keep feeling like that about it.

Sorry for posting too much but I’m feeling like it helps.
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Re: First step

Postby Mona58 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:19 pm

You are not posting too much! I hope you keep posting!

You will learn a lot. You will come to understand the "addiction" better overtime. It is much more deeper than just a "habit". It is hard to beat alone.

Yes it helps! I could not have come to 15 weeks and 3 days GF without this site. It is my lifeline. I think often that l post too much! I have heaps of time on my hands at moment as I don't work.

Well done on resisting that urge!

Stay strong!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: First step

Postby Jasmine » Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:21 pm

Well done Dan! A small win to celebrate today!
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Re: First step

Postby suzybeauty » Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:35 pm

Hi Dan,
I'm Suzy and it's nice to meet you. I want you to know you are not alone - I am like you, when ever I go out ( I don't have a car but am walking and catching bus), I'm always stopping at the clubs/gaming venues. There are a few in walking distance to my home. I keep thinking, what's wrong with me, why can't I just pass them. It's like a magnet at the doorway that sucks me right in all the time & I like everyone else here am so sick of it. 9 out of 10 times I leave broke. Take yesterday for a good example. I only had 40 left in my account until next week's pay. Took my 2 twenty dollar notes in. Did quite well with my first 20 & made about 180. Now why couldn't I be satisfied and leave, I was in a very good position. But no, silly me gets lured in more and wants more! So I stayed and played longer on several machines until you know what! Out comes my 2nd 20 and after such a roller coaster of highs, now I'm getting low. I was lucky to walk out with 15, usually that would go too, and usually a lot more money goes in but this is all I had and even then, with so little I was tempted to put it all in for a chance of a major. But they rarely come out! And every week, history repeats itself with me. The same thing happens all over again. It's not my intention to lose, just like all others there, just want to keep playing without losing! It's a never ending battle but the good news is that I'm determined to make it end and winning by not going.
Some things I can suggest, is councelling, banning yourself from venues, leaving your credit card at home, talking about it to your partner or if no partner, a good friend/family member or even just sharing your thoughts here. Openening up about your addiction, problems, fears & your character to others is definitely a first step to recovery. So share your pain & share your joy here when ever possible. There's been times I've cried after a big gamble and losses but coming here has helped me a lot and it can for you too.
I look forward to hearing more about you 😊
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Re: First step

Postby Dan32 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:04 am

Thanks Mona & Jasmine. It felt good getting home making dinner knowing I got past my first day. I’m feeling pretty positive at the moment.

Hey Suzy.

Sorry to hear you’re in the same position. It’s a terrible feeling, that one after the inevitable loss. Like I posted before, the optimism we get with every new note you put it sounds so stupid right now, but at the time you really think you’ll win. Then it disappears, but you see another machine you like, or one you seen someone win big on once time so you feed that one...crazy.

Right now I can see now dumb that all sounds, I hope my attitude stays that way.

Sorry to hear about yesterday. Yes, you should’ve walked out ahead. I’ve done that many times, convince yourself it’s all profit so why not put more in. Before you know it you’re back to a loss.

At least you didn’t put all of it through.

I’m happy to be here and be talking to people in similar positions. I’m going to try and get through this without telling my partner or family. If I find that’s too hard, I’ll tell someone.

I’d love to post next Tuesday and say it’s been a week and that’s what I’m focusing on now.
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Re: First step

Postby Dan32 » Sat Feb 03, 2018 12:26 pm

I made it past Friday afternoon which I knew would be hard. It crossed my mind a few minutes ago so I thought I’d come on here.

I know I will lose and lose big after a few days off them so have to talk myself out of it.
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