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Drowning in recent decisions

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Drowning in recent decisions

Postby Della2007 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:02 am

Hi - new to this. Recently I have been making some poor choices. I think my gambling ( online pokies) only spiralled out by getting myself in trouble losing an amount of money my partner gave me. Not having anything to show for it, I kept gambling ( a few wins along the way ) but eventually continued losses and now some financial strife. I have fessed up to my partner twice over losing some money - and although he was supportive and fixed my debt, he has lost trust and has been really disappointed. So I stopped online gambling for months - then the partner decided to trust me again, and gave me money to get a few things ( he's the main income earner ) . What started out as thinking I had gain control and was only going to play $100 .... Turned into me just shredding it online through these casinos. I mean literally thousands. I have now gotten myself in debt ( small loans - but high repayments ) over the course of a week racked up 5k debt, and don't want to confide this in my partner - I'll lose him. But now drowning in repayments I can't afford, it's not even a high amount of debt but I'm not working ( my partners deposits regularly into my account per fortnight ) but my repayments are now almost as much as what I receive. I can't eat - sleep and I don't want to tell my partner. I don't know how it happens it's like a blur. The other day I managed to secure a loan from a dodgy provider of 2300 and I intended to use it to knock out the few other smaller loans ( with high repayments accumulated) and I thought - what if I just put a hundred through. Next minute I am up all night like a robot in a daze - wake up next day and my loan is gone. Now I owe repayments for that and the several other smaller loans I can't repay. I don't know what to do - if only I could consolidate the various smaller loans and pay one off over time that would be doable. But not working and already a few small loans - no one will Lend it.
I just kept making mistake after mistake and i have had enough. :(
Della2007
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Re: Drowning in recent decisions

Postby FG » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:12 am

Hi Della2007
Congratulations on reaching out for help it is a difficult thing to do , but it is also a step in the right direction . I am not qualified to be giving advice and I am only doing so because I felt every one of your words . I only stopped gambling myself 14 weeks ago after finding myself exactly where you are now , with multiple loans one paying off the other as you put it “ drowning “ . With me the debt was my motivation for everything and each time I would try to consolidate each time I would get my hands on money I didnt use it for what was intended I did what you did and went straight back to gambling . In my opinion you need to cut the snake off at the head and fix the gambling problem first , as difficult as this is going to be you need to show your partner that you are getting counseling , maybe attending gamblers anonymous actively seeking out whatever is necessary to break this cycle , fixing the gambling addiction needs to be your motivation and the rest will come . Have a good look around this site there is a lot of different types of support available . I wish you well .
FG
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Re: Drowning in recent decisions

Postby Mona58 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:20 am

Hi Della,

Welcome to the forum.

As FG states you are wise to reach out.

To understand a bit about how we got stuck in this runt watch Ka Ching Pokie nation on ABC iview. l had read somewhere that there a decline in pokies in venues and an increase in online gambling. l would suppose they work the game the same way to get people addicted... brainwashed... blinded and they destroy lives.

l suggest you contact Gamb helpline on 1800 858 858 and they can put you in contact with a financial counsellor.

You will eventually have to tell your partner ... in fact you must asap. Relationships Australia would be a good starting point for this. They also offer online counselling.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Drowning in recent decisions

Postby Oregon » Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:34 am

Hi Della, welcome
I can't say much more that hasn't already been said, just keep logging onto this forum, it's a great place to share, vent, be motivated and get great advice from people in the same situation as you.

Oregon on day 39 GF
Oregon
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