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After all...back to square one

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After all...back to square one

Postby Jasmine » Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:48 pm

Feel pretty low at the moment.
After three months of gambling free...don't know how the thought of online pokies came into my head. I created the account and lost $500 in an hour. The money I had been saving for three months and wasn't tempted to buy anything for myself.
.....disappointed
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby JinxyWolf » Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:05 pm

Hi Jasmine,

Back to square one? I think not, 3 Months is a tremendous achievement and just because you had a lapse doesn't mean that all the hard work you did in those 3 months doesn't count. It's just a stumble that's all. Take the time and really think about why you lapsed? what was going on in you life? Identify the trigger and then you know what to look for in the future. Each time we lapse we learn, that's all lapses are, treat this is a learning experience rather than a failure.

So pick yourself up and dust off and know that you are one step closer to beating this demon once and for all.

Be well and Stay Strong and know that we are here for you.

JinxyWolf
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby Mona58 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:35 pm

Hi jasmine

I agree with Jinky.

It is not easy to break free of our addiction to gambling. I read your post earlier and did not know how to reply. So I went outside, did some gardening and thought about why people lapse / relapse. All I could really think about is that we must not let our guard down and have to constantly remind ourselves that gambling in any form is not good for us.

Stay strong and keep in touch.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby DFP » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:58 pm

I agree. Not back to square one. This is the nature of our disease - we are always vulnerable, and will always need to focus on control.
So get back in control. Don't beat yourself up. But focus on control today (one day at a time).
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby fray » Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:00 pm

Hi Jasmine,

It is ok to be disappointed, but the positives outway the negatives i believe.

You gave in and gambled 1 day and lost $500.

You were strong and fought and beat the gambling demon for 89 days, where if anything like me, in 89 days could have gambled $5000.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you can either make it day 2 gambling or day 1 of no gambling.

I am sure you will choose day 1 of no gambling, you have support on here, i check in every hour or so as i am sure others do, so if you are tempted post something and give us a little while to respond.

Together we can turn day 1 into the rest of our life.

No gambling for me day 8.

Jasmine welcome to day 1, lets go again, your day2 will be someones day 1.

I am with you all the way. Whos in?

D
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby Jeddie » Fri Jan 05, 2018 6:43 am

I’m in Fray, very wise words from you, Mona and Jinxy. I like the way Mona said to someone the other day. 89 days with one relapse.. come on Jasmine you can do it. My only other bit to say is perhaps spend some money on yourself along the way as a reward. It’s too early in the process for you to save everything. If not perhaps put your savings somewhere where you can’t get at it. Give it to someone to hold for you. Put a block on all the online games immediately. I am sure someone will pop up and tell you how to do that..keep strong Jasmine😀



97 GF DAYS TODAY
IN GAMBLING THE MANY MUST LOSE IN ORDER THAT THE FEW MAY WIN
George Bernard Shaw
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby fray » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:51 am

Cheers Jeddie,

97 down for you well done, an inspiration to many of us.

D
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby Jasmine » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:14 pm

Midnight and I sat here feeling miserable. Unfortunately, I didn't learn the lesson and played the games online. Ended up losing another $1,500 and only stopped because my credit card is now max.
If only i never been introduced to gambling....my life would have been different.
Sorry I feel so down. I know I got to pick myself up but right now I couldn't even go to bed and close my eyes.
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby Catherine1 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:42 pm

Jasmine I know how you feel. Last week I blew $750 and then $800. I was up to day 7 today and then blew $1000 today. $2500 in 12 days. I feel like absolute crap and cant sleep at the moment either. I know what sent me out of control. I had one workmate die at 52 with a heartattack last weekend and another friend/work mate almost died from a freak accident. She dropped a bowl on her kitchen floor and a shard bounced back and slit her wrist, Severed her artery and tendon in her wrist. She lost a lot of blood and almost died. All round it has been a crappy week. My day 1 will be tomorrow. All the best with your challenge. Just remember you are not alone.
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Re: After all...back to square one

Postby Jasmine » Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:46 am

Thanks Catherine. That's certainly a difficult time for you and sorry for your loss.
I also think I know the trigger. It is somewhat stupid as it is just a small thing said by my husband. He had no bad intention but somehow I interpreted in a bad way (I checked with him what he meant). I tended to overthink things and always negatively. I might seek a Counselling as I feel like I am depressed. I lost interest in things, I gained weight and I started gambling again.
Right now, I shouldn't gamble a cent as I couldn't afford to lose any. Sadly, I put myself deep down in trouble.
Catherine, wish you strength.
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