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Payday blues...

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Re: Payday blues...

Postby How the F did I get here » Sun May 06, 2018 8:47 pm

Well done Mona on milestone of 200 days!!
You must be so proud of yourself!!!
That is amazing!!! You must be on cloud nine!!!
Keep up the great work!!
And thanks for all your great encouragement to myself and others on here.
Tara x
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Mon May 07, 2018 7:21 am

Thanks Cazza & Tara!

Have read recent posts, Good to see many of you staying strong and fighting on. Keep posting and sharing.

One of things I've been thinking about alot is "relaxing"... making time to do nothing just relax... no.. we don't do that when we sleep. I mean during the day have a relaxing but mindful time and think ONLY of good things in life...

Mona.. on day 205.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Jo-Anne » Mon May 07, 2018 9:43 am

Hi Mona....I read your whole thread yesterday and I am so very happy for you. To be where you are now has required all your courage, strength and determination. Thank you for sharing the way you have because it is open and honest, which has helped me continue thinking about my gambling past rather than blocking it out. As you have said reading all the posts can be overwhelming at times, and attending GA meetings (which I did for about 12 months) has the same effect. I think it is a huge part of the healing/recovery process as we face up to our past, and plan for our future. My Dad has been wanting me to go back to GA and I am thinking about it seriously.

About your comment on relaxation, I have never been a mindfulness/meditation type person as my mind just races all the time (mmmmm pretty much why I gambled!!) I am only working from home one day a week now, and am pretty exhausted when I get home from the office 4 days a week, so fortunately do not find too much time on my hands. As I have shared previously, knitting and crocheting takes my mind away for a little rest so if I am not too tired will do that. Have a great week Mona........sincerely Jo
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby User 58d71dd6a1ab0 » Wed May 09, 2018 12:26 pm

Hi Mona, can you share to us, how did you feel when you first started your journey ? Eg. Did you feel stressed from all the losses, a mess, helpless, exhausted, anxious, sleep deprived, always thinking about pokies, etc. And now when you compare today, how do you feel ? Is it all the opposite - happy, relaxed, not thinking of pokies, more energy & much more time for better activities, etc ? Let us know how you would compare today from 200 plus days ago. It will give me & others here some idea of what we can expect when we reach where you are :)

Suzy (my name has come up as a number today but it's suzybeauty here)
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed May 09, 2018 8:38 pm

Hi Suzy,

I was always broke every spare cent I'd go to the pokies. I'd be awake as soon as money gets into my account. I'd be angry with myself after but make excuses that l'll survive ... I had enough and since I came to this site. I found quitting very nervy ... I was terrified of money and paydays. Did things like gardening, exercising , cleaning anything to try and stop thinking about pokies... it wasn't easy : I couldn't do it without the support here. Now I've gone back to study. It is different because I don't feel angry or worry about not being able to afford good food.

It is much nicer Not going to the pokies! I don't feel panicky or anxious waiting for next payday so I can go to pokies... l am more relaxed now... and have a little savings to! I was able to buy my study books and not have to borrow from library.. Hardly think about gambling (except when on here but not to go gambling! Just to remind me of the horrors of it!) Rarely now does the thought to go to pokies popup... (its in my tread the last time it came up).

If you read my tread from day one... you'll see it wasn't easy at the beginning... writing down the experience helped... because it made me feel less alone... and the support is priceless.

l still come here... because I do have a strong fear of relapse...
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby suz-free » Thu May 10, 2018 10:54 am

Thanks Mona,
yes, I'll read your threads to see what your journey has been like. It's great to know that this terrible addiction can be beaten. Everything you said about before 200 days is similar to what I'm going through now. I'm not going to give up the fight. The positives of where you are now are so much better, something I look forward to reaching :)
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu May 10, 2018 11:17 am

It is hard Suzy...

you have to keep telling yourself,. NO...

just imagine the gamble demon is a naughty child... and keep saying saying No...

It gets easier then you have less thoughts about gambling because you start to thinking more about what you can do to make your life nicer -.-more manageable.

We all have ups and downs ... gambling only makes more downs.

Keep busy ... maybe you can make things a craft ... try different recipes... that way you spend some gambling money on something and takes away temptation.

Having no money for a few paydays won't make much difference... except you've got things to make or do to fill in time.

the thoughts to gamble pop up ... and you have to Keep saying No... You don't gamble anymore.

You can do it Suzy! I'm in your corner!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sun May 13, 2018 7:53 am

Happy Mothers day to all the Mums!

Mona on day 211 GF (2 days to 7 months!)
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed May 16, 2018 9:01 am

7 months and 1 day gamble free!

Memory of the D-Dens is fading but for reading posts keeps me strong. It did cross my mrnd the other day that l "miss out" on the supposed "entertainment" aspect of the D-machine BUT have definitely no urge to take it up again!

Stay stong everyone... its worth fighting for a gamble free life!


Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Springhope17 » Wed May 16, 2018 4:30 pm

7 months is amazing Mona! You are inspiring me now :)
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