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Payday blues...

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Re: Payday blues...

Postby JinxyWolf » Tue Dec 19, 2017 3:26 pm

Hey Mona,

66 days that's awesome, well done.

I know that feeling, it's just a niggle at the back of your brain, you get paranoid about the possibility of a lapse and how easily it could happen.
Good news is given more time this too will fade, just like you desire to gamble has faded in the past 66 days. Even now after 10 months I know that it would be easy to slip back into old habits but now I have the tools to combat these fears of lapsing, as you also do. Like writing down all the things you've been able to do since quitting, occupying your mind with other activities, and knowing that you have all the power.

Congrats again.

JinxyWolf
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Tue Dec 19, 2017 8:00 pm

Thanks Jinky.

I watched Ka-Ching Pokie Nation again today. having recommended it to Newbies to the forum... Could feel myself welling up and so glad I am no longer consciously tempted.

I'd made my first ice-cream today... decided to do 1/2 the recipes quantity... BUT forgot to 1/2 the sugar! It makes such a mess but it kept me occupied and mindful. I'd not realised how time passed. I'd even enjoyed doing the dishes... at least I tried to!

I'm also glad that l no longer feel grumpy and upset with myself.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby little_fish » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:40 pm

Linda6 wrote:
The same on Tuesday I could have walked away with $2,000 but I just kept playing, its insane!

Maybe because I have lost so much that I want the big win the grand prize, but it is so illogical.

So now I sit with $15 in my wallet and direct debits being declined and I am so pissed, but like every other time I will hide the pain and hurt, pick myself up get paid again and catch up with the bills pay them and hopefully do that 1 week at a time.

Even got the "Exclusion form" filled out and ready to go as the last resort.

Sorry if I sound woe is me but reading your post, I thought you would understand and I am not sure if this is the correct way to introduce myself, sorry if I got it wrong!


Hi Linda. I can relate. I have been behaving pretty crazily of late. I walked out of the RSL with $4000+ about a week ago, proceeded to call a cab and went to the casino where I blew the lot. On Friday I was at it again. It was payday and I was about $2000 down. I won it back. If I hadn't confessed to a friend where I was, I probably would have lost the lot. He came and did a mini-intervention. After that I handed the money over to my husband and confessed that, yet again, I'd failed. For me, hiding makes everything worse--probably enables me to continue gambling.
You don't sound woe is me. Not at all.
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby fray » Wed Dec 20, 2017 10:52 am

payday blues,

when wtiting your posts and reading back over them, you may feel silly or embareassed for putting it all out there?

Please don't be, i read through your thoughts and the replies and this will help me get through another tough day.

I gambled everything away and now rent a 3 bedroom apartment for 420 pw which i dont need (there alone) and cant afford.

i havn't gambled for 5 days and this is it, never again.
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:24 am

Hi fray

Welcome to the forum.

Well done on 5 days.

I did intially feel awkward... these everyday thoughts is what can either hold of gambling or lead to gambling. l no longer want to waste my time and what little (but enough) money I receive in those D-Dens. What I feel ... I often don't understand so it helps tremendously when some-one who had experienced it posts and reassures me that it is all normal and "will fade" as Jinky with over 10 months Gamble free wrote. This gives me strength and I am able to not worry too much over it.

Who better to really understand the thoughts of a gambler but a gambler. I know my thoughts are not mine alone. hmm.... sometimes I surprise myself!

When / If you feel ready to share your story we are here to support you. It is tough doing it alone.

The support I feel here is priceless. Again l thank everyone for posting!

Mona in day 67 GF... waiting for butter to defrost!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 2:30 pm

I'd had an enjoyable day. Baking, gardened, read posts.. laughed at myself.

I thought a lot about jeddies post in Yay! ...about saving money and how am I going to do that. I was thinking maybe a third bank account... things happen in threes... ??
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 9:09 am

Day 68...

will be away tonight. Babysitting, playing with Lego and ninja turtles!

Stay strong and happy everyone!

Mona.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Fri Dec 22, 2017 7:33 pm

DAY SIXTY NINE gamble free!

Been a long two days. I'm too tired to bother thinking now.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby little_fish » Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:16 am

Day 69! That's fantastic. Very inspiring. :)
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Jeddie » Sat Dec 23, 2017 7:05 am

HAPPY 70th Mona58, so happy for you 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
IN GAMBLING THE MANY MUST LOSE IN ORDER THAT THE FEW MAY WIN
George Bernard Shaw
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