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My 28 year pokies affair

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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Wits end » Tue Jul 25, 2017 11:04 am

Thank you all for welcoming me
I admitted and have been well aware for years that I have a very serious gambling problem.
My problem is because I have gambled half of my life away it becomes normal to you. It is hard to see yourself having money or nice things because you have been a loser for soooo long it is what you believe the remained of your life will be. I used to cry a lot after I played pokies but now I don't you become conditioned to the gambling hangover.
My grandfather was a pokie addict and before he died in he's 80's I told him I also played them. I remember him saying to me " that is it you have the curse you will never be free of it,you will always live a life of misery".
I was sitting beside a lovely lady one day playing pokies. She had put most of her money through the pokies. She won around $1600 and said oh good I will take that out. She took it out ( and how clever was someone to come up with the idea of the machines printing tickets, no need to call the attendant ). She continued to playing with the cash she had and she visited the teller machine. All her cash gone she slipped the $1600 ticket she had back in the machine. Played big and lost every cent. Not one credit left she turned to me and said omg what have I done, she said I have full care of my 3 young grandchildren what am I going to do. I can't buy groceries. You fool, you idiot,she kept saying crying as she walked out the door. I could feel everything that she would have been feeling, I could have cried for her.
Another thing I do that drives me crazy is if I have cash I count it continually. I will not by new clothes or get my hair done because it is too expensive. But I will sit in front of a poker machine and feed 50 after 50 into the slot, it makes no sense.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby jimi68 » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:05 pm

I know!!!!!!!!
WE ARE ADDICTED!!!!
I would plan a treat like a haircut...
Its a small thing but I would plan for it all week, "'when my pay comes in I will get a haircut"
but theres a venue right next to the hairdresser......
I would go in first........ intending to spend only $50 (that often got me in-telling myself I will play only a little money)
But once I got STUCK in the game I couldn't stop ,MY THINKING CHANGED, and I lost it all...... (no haircut)

even though I'm not cured I know deep down
that my first step is that I CANT EVEN GO INTO A VENUE..
So far ive managed that, but I still get strong cravings each day and am learning to deal with them as time goes by....
ITS so much easier if you keep educating yourself as willpower is often not enough...
WE HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE POKIES!!!!
you have to watch the documentary on youtube "kaching pokie nation"'
Knowledge is power", and as you learn more and more you will beat this thing!!!
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby jimi68 » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:22 pm

another thing....
Gambling isn't a curse you will never be free of......(don't believe the devils lie)
thousands of people beat it
just like hundreds of thousands of people beat other addictions like smoking... drugs ,overeating etc....
Your not doomed to live this life.....
No matter how many days you have failed in the past you can still succeed tomorrow.
just have to do just one day at a time.
Did you notice in that documentary what the painter lady said?
How long its been since she gambled?
If she can do it then so can you.
Equip yourself with the tools you need to do the job.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby pamela » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:40 pm

I just want to say you are not a loser and neither is anyone on this forum we just took a different path to everybody else. Every addiction or every habit good or bad can be beaten if you want it bad enough I gambled for 18 years and thought I would never ever stop because I love them but hated them at the same time but I'm two years gamble free almost and I love living a life without poker machines. I still have a problem with money because I'm not used to having it I still count money boxes a lot I still check my bank account often but there things I'm dealing with but I don't mind because I'm not putting it through a poker machine. You obviously don't want to keep living the life you live so you have to be determined to stop and it won't be easy but it will be so beneficial I really wish you well
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Wits end » Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:10 pm

I tried to watch kaching but I can only find trailers and it tells me I have to buy it. Any links to go directly to the program.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby pamela » Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:15 pm

Did you try you tube??
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Wits end » Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:26 pm

Yes just finished watching it. OMGodness. Owner of aristocrat asked "what is the secret to success " answer " build the best mouse trap". I was appalled and disgusted by that. What a telling documentary. Excellent
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby jimi68 » Wed Jul 26, 2017 11:26 am

Yeah, wits end....
As gamblers we spend a lot of time being disgusted with ourselves,
but its time to be kind to ourselves because being addicted we are only human..
We don't play to hurt anyone but because we want to get something good .
We are like little white mice that have been tricked to run around in a game that's made to amuse someone else.
The pokies can feel like a long lost friend but its not,
Its a mindless ,heartless electronic machine and it doesn't even know who you are......
Its made by people who don't care about you but only to make money for them.
Why should I pay them my money?

The exciting chance to win,
ALLWAYS get you in,
At the pokies I threw my money in the bin,
I feel like I have sinned.......
But to stop this madness,
today i will begin
to make it so
I DONT GO IN!!!

ha ha ! time for you to write a new poem...... :)

all the best with beating gambling
But
Get as much help as you can....
Try a councillor...... free!!!! confidential, through gamblers help
and you will feel like your doing something....
A chance to tell your story to someone that wants to help.
The best part is they can challenge our thinking when it works against us.......
They can prompt us to set goals,
and help us to examine WHY when we don't reach them....
So we learn about ourselves..
and have a better chance
I found reading this forum every day for first 2 weeks something that helped me to KEEP ALL THIS IN MY MIND.
In the morning i would put on the computer, read the news and then straight on here.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby POPEYE » Wed Jul 26, 2017 11:04 pm

.
Last edited by POPEYE on Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby reebee » Thu Jul 27, 2017 7:26 am

Hello wits end. Wow - you captured the essence of the pokie allure so well in your poem. I for one can truly relate to the situation you describe. It is a foul and soul destroying addiction. It has eaten away at my core for the last time. I started the 100 day challenge yesterday. I've vowed to repay myself all the money I've stolen from myself as I think this is the only way I can possibly reverse the damage I've caused to my sense of self worth.

In the meantime I hope you can move forward, upwards and onwards with beating this thing!
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