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My 28 year pokies affair

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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Jerry (facilitator) » Thu Jul 27, 2017 10:27 am

Hey Popeye,

Great advice once again.

I particularly love the treat yourself idea.

If you can spare $50 to put in the pokies, then you can spare $50 to buy a Massage.

Some people skip gambling, but don't do anything to reward themselves. They take the one joy that had away. Taking fun out of your life is no fun and really hard to stick with.

It is better to replace expensive joy with cost effective joy.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Wits end » Sat Jul 29, 2017 11:52 pm

So I made it through Friday with flying colours. Until today when I decided to have a drink or 2 or 3 or 4. Ended up at club, home now without a cent to my name actually my bank account is over drawn. It is all well and good to come on here and confess, people comment and make you feel better about yourself, but it's really not ok,it's not ok at all to do what we do. I want that magic pill and I want it right now. Sick of confessing my sins week in - week out its just b@@@****. I am so done with it. I am just soooo tired of it.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Jamie777 » Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:15 am

Hi guys, I'm new to this site. I loved your poem wits end! That is me exactly!!! I'm 32 and been playing since about 18. It all started for me with the pokies when I used to work in a pub. I used to go around and put a couple of dollars in and never win anything and I thought they were stupid. Then one night I put a couple of dollars in and won couple of hundred and went to another machine and did the same and did it again for a third time. That night I went home and I was dreaming about the pokies and when I woke up I still remember it to this day! I got straight up rushed and had a shower and went straight back to play again! I was bad for a couple of years then I struggled with drinking and other substances and eventually landed in a rehab at 26. Since then I have been to three rehabs and stopped drinking so much and my pokie addiction is completely out of control! I have nothing left! I sold my car to play the pokies I have sold shoes clothes and the last thing I owned was my mattress. That was sold too for 100 to play the pokies. I have a good job and earn good money and have absolutely nothing to show! Just some clothes on my back. My beautiful friend has taken me in and given me a bed of her to lend. I feel so much shame and guilt. Most people in my life have no idea of my struggles. Everyone calls my smiley. When I'm dying on the inside! Oh and I even put my mobile phone in on lend for money and I was just going without a phone for ages and that was hard not having anyone to talk to while I was feeling so depressed! Now another friend who is in recovery has given me a cheap phone so at least I can make phone calls and text if I hock my phone! I'm going crazy! This is NOT a life!!! I can't sleep right now hence this post at 1am!! Did it again yesterday!!! Argh!!! So happy people understand!!!
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Jamie777 » Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:21 am

Hey wits end!!
I totally understand! I'm sick of it too!! I'm sick of feeling bad for awhile and becoming motivated to do good then all of a sudden I'm straight back there!!! It's driving me bananas!!! It's not good what we do to ourselves!!! I have been trying to understand addiction for soooo long! I do regular meetings and for some reason I just can't get it!!!! I guess we just have to keep trying! People do stop gambling... so it is possible! Hope your ok !!
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby jimi68 » Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:17 am

sorry to hear about your day...
You've had enough??
NOW IS THE TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
Ring gamblers help and talk with councilor... TODAY!
Organise to go and see a councilor face to face......
Put the phone down and say out loud "TODAY I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!"

Tell your story and see about MAKING A PLAN of what to do when tempted...
PREPARE IN ADVANCE for what is going to happen next time you get urge.
What are your RISK factors?
Do you gamble at certain times of week?
Are you more likely to gamble if you have alcohol...
Identify the thoughts you have that draw you in...
(Other than someone strapping you to a bed so you cant leave the house..There is no magic pill)
YOU YOU YOU !!!! have to do the work of stopping.
If you don't know how THEN FIND OUT.
If the only thing you have done up till now is come on this forum,
its not enough to as you say "'confess your sins"'....
That wont cure you
That urge is still gonna come tomorrow,... next week,..... next month.........
You need to have the understanding of how to resist temptation and have a plan what to do
If you have no plan all you are doing is wishing you didn't gamble ( and that never worked before did it?)
Make a short term goal with YOUR COUNCILLOR and write it down...
ie- I want to not gamble for ONE WEEK and I will write down my thoughts and feeling when I am tempted.
What time of day?
What was I feeling? what was I thinking?
a week later go back...
Once you have this information you can develop a strategy with them for what to do about it...
Ie- practice alternative thoughts in response..
WHEN I GET THE URGE TO GAMBLE I WILL............

When you visit them again you can talk about if you relapsed and explore the reasons why..
Unless their new, I'm sure that most people that are here have some kind of strategy or plan...
You've got to do more than WISH you weren't gambling...
It takes time to change the brainwashing
in the meantime if you can lessen the impact of gambling to give you a break
by either not gambling or limiting your access to cash for the next 2 weeks...

YOU ARE GOING TO GET THE URGE AGAIN...
so prepare NOW and make tomorrow a gambling free day.
one day at a time.

read the post on this site called "'success stories"'
read the post "'can I see the light"'
Last edited by jimi68 on Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby pamela » Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:00 am

Hi Wits End.just like you chose to play the machines you have to choose not to. It isn't easy but can be done..read your previous posts and take in how you feel..print them out if you can.and read them next time you want to gamble..you can stop if you are determined enough but you have to work at it.relapses are common but use that experience to help you..get all the help you can and say no to gbling and all the stress it brings
Pam
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Shirley (facilitator) » Tue Aug 01, 2017 4:44 pm

Hi wits end, have a think about the events / feelings that led to your gambling this time. It sounds like alcohol (or a certain amount of alcohol) may have been the main contributing factor. But is that true in other times you have gambled? Think back over the last month and each time you gambled despite a promise to yourself. Where were you when you felt the urge? What were you doing? What kinds of things did you tell yourself to justify gambling again? Now think about what would have helped you to make a different choice and achieve a different outcome? If for example you just got paid and you were in the pub when you had the urge, then maybe not drinking on pay day could be a planned approach. This is all about learning from what hasn't worked so you can plan what will work in future. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing productive can come from self loathing. In fact guilt and shame and self loathing are all massive triggers that lead to urges to gamble. So you have to get off that train and look at things reflectively before you can change the cycle. There is no magic pill. You have to find what isn't working and flip it on its head and it is often a whole lot of little things that need tweaking.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Wits end » Thu Aug 17, 2017 4:46 pm

Hey everyone. Just a quick update, I haven't posted in a while been super busy at work, but I do log on every morning and night without fail to read posts. I have NOT gambled since my last post on Saturday 29th July. 19 days GF. Last 2 weekends I have spent with family we have had movie nights. And we went out for kebabs and than the cinema afterward last Saturday night. I meet up with my oldest daughter and my grandson yesterday in town and I shouted them lunch (never done that before). I walked past 3 young guys busking in town they were really good so as I walked past I opened my wallet and without any hesitation pulled out a $10 note and put it in their guitar case (I never ever would give my money to anyone like that , I only ever donated to pokies). I have a whole weeks pay saved already ($1300)that I have put away. Can't say I have had a really strong urge to play yet. But pokies do pop into my head daily, when I think about them I say out loud NO. I watched the movie "going for broke" yesterday it's worth watching. I truly believe that if it wasn't for logging on to this forum daily I would still be gambling. I said to my husband I believe this forum is a life saver.
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby pamela » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:25 pm

Well done..it doesnt take long really to change how we think and it is nice to be able to live without the shackles of gambling
pamela
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Re: My 28 year pokies affair

Postby Jerry (facilitator) » Sun Aug 20, 2017 4:36 pm

Hi Wits End,

It is great to hear that you have found the forums so helpful. It sounds like you are starting to get a hold of your gambling, it must be nice to be able to give a busker some spare money instead of the machines.
Jerry (facilitator)
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