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Ending the cycle for good

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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:34 pm

Day 38 GF. I have had some stress in my life last two days and was really lost with how to deal with it. Rushing off to the pokies is so familiar to me when I don't know what else to do. When things seem out of control the pokies seem like a soothing place to go and relax. The pokies are not a soothing and relaxing place at all they steal our money and trick us into thinking we can win. We can't win we can never win so when I am having a bad day I will chose to do something else. I will sit and have a coffee in a quiet cafe, go for a walk, call a friend, call the help line, go into this forum, make something to eat, have a rest, watch a movie, read a book. I am training myself after 20 years how to be at peace with stress and negative feelings.
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Sat Sep 09, 2017 8:37 am

I welcome day 40 GF. To anyone struggling this weekend with a gambling addiction find the strength within you to just start at day 1. Take
A day to gather support and take some action eg call the help line, organise self exclusion, talk to a
Friend, go to a GA meeting, find an activity you can do even if it is staying home and watching a movie. After an addiction that was crippling my mind and the relpases seemed relentless I believe am achieving progress because of all the support I put in place. "Today I choose not to gamble"
Pea pod
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Springhope17 » Sat Sep 09, 2017 8:47 pm

Hi there pea pod,

I am on day 8 today! I just joined this forum last night and signed up for the 100 day challenge.

I have spent the last hour reading through all the posts! I can relate so much to everyone on here. All the relapses, the feelings on anxiousness, loneliness, frustration and disappointment.

I feel like i have hit rock bottom at least 30 times over the last 2 years! Feeling completely worthless having spent every single dollar on payday chasing the previous weeks losses.

For me this time feels different I have made the decision that i don't want to gamble ever again and I feel for the first time happy and at peace with this decision. I hope this is the case anyway! I am going to give it every thing I have. Gambling has nearly destroyed my whole life but I want to fight for my future.

I am so happy to see that you have made it to DAY 40 it gives me hope for myself!
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Sun Sep 10, 2017 6:43 pm

Hi springhope17 well done on your challenge, I do hope you have had a good weekend GF. I have just had another weekend go by full of life and happiness now that I am not gambling. The dreaded relapse is such a lesson in the addiction I do believe they all taught me a lesson in the end. I have not been tempted to gamble and my moods have calmed right down. I'm still calling the help line when I feel over whelmed and seeing my councellor. Springhope17 it may be worth your while looking into self exclusion and support. All
My relpases occurred because I didn't have things put in place. A plan really does help it was impossible for me to " just stop" it never worked All the best this week.
Pea pod
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby FamilyFirst » Sun Sep 10, 2017 9:25 pm

Hi peapod,
Well done for being 41 days GF now!
That's great progress :D
Sounds like your settling in to your gamble free life now. Just keep on doing what your doing avoiding those moments when your susceptible by doing those other activities.
Keep up the great work!
Cheers, Lee
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Location: South Australia

Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Ceejay » Mon Sep 11, 2017 7:25 am

Hi Peapod - I wonder if you know how good it is for us newbies to read your story? You may have started posting as a strategy to support your own recovery, but you are helping others as well on this thread. Plus I'm sure I've seen your posts of support on other people's threads.

There seem to be so many of us experiencing the same terrible cycles. For me, knowing that others are treading this rocky path has been SO valuable. Somehow we surely can walk together.

Have a wonderful day.
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Tue Sep 12, 2017 9:50 am

Hi everyone. I am so happy to inspire others as I go on my journey. Gambling is a terrible addiction that is so lonely and soul destroying. The constant chase of $$ cuts you into the core of your soul and recovery is hard hard work. One day I will be able to say I am 6 months free and hopefully 12 months. I'm not dreaming about gambling but it does take up a lot of my thoughts during the day. It's a constant reminder of what I don't want to be anymore.
Pea pod
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Springhope17 » Tue Sep 12, 2017 3:11 pm

Hi Pea pod,

I think i might try giving the helpline a call next time I have an urge to gamble. Or even speak to an online councillor.

The words in the last post you wrote " Gambling is a terrible addiction that is so lonely and soul destroying. The constant chase of $$ cuts you into the core of your soul and recovery is hard hard work." really said exactly how I feel.

Its so lonely in many ways, I have let so many people down in the past by not going to events either choosing to chase my losses rather then showing up or having no money to go having lost it all to the machines. Its also lonely sitting there for hours at a time in my own little world wasting my life away. Each time i went and walked out feeling worthless like I just lost a little bit more of my soul each time.

I am so happy you are going to well.

Today I choose not to gamble and its Day 11.
Springhope17
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:44 pm

Day 46 gamble free days for me. Nearly 2 decades of poker machine addiction 46 days behind me. Maybe my brain is changing like the councellor said it would. Self exclusion is the key for me. The venues know the regulars they know the addicts faces and they know mine. Your not really hiding behind a machine the staff are aware they know how many times you have gone back to the atm. I am embarrassed to have been so desperate at times while gambling that I would go back multiple times to the ATM. The walk of shame when your account is drained and you have to leave the machine that's robbed you is something I hope to never ever experience again. The machines and the venues are set up to fail us addicts. Self exclude from your local venues is my advice today.
Pea pod
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Posts: 80
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby JenniferA (facilitator) » Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:25 pm

Congrats on your 46th day Pea Pod.

So glad to hear that self-exclusion is working for you!
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