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My Last Day One

The 100 Day Challenge is a program where you set your goals - reduce your gambling or stop gambling altogether, it's up to you. Log onto the 100 Day Challenge website to follow the real stories of four Australians trying to give up gambling for inspiration and get the tools and support you need to find the real you. Click here to sign up, and post about your own challenge here on the Gambling Help Online Community Forum!


My Last Day One

Postby JC » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:27 am

This is it. I’m addicted to sports betting, on all sports - baseball, basketball, ice hockey, soccer, football. The list goes on. I cannot live like this. I love the thrill of the bet, and the inellectual battle of picking a team to win (after doing your own stupid analyses). It’s just those dopamine shots you get when you place a bet - no different to a drug addicts brain or a smokers brain. I’m really trying to rewire my brain.

I’m losing too much money and I can never enjoy life. All my memories have been tainted with gambling. Even on holidays, or nights out with friends, I’d have a bet on something, constantly checking scores and updates to see if my bets are on track.

This is everyday. Some days I gamble without even realising it. Like there was no urge. I’d just do it habitually without even thinking about the consequences. Now that’s scary. I’ve been trying so hard lately, a really intense internal conflict. I really want to quit, I make weekly progressions and end up relapsing. I get depressed, vow I’ll never bet again, go a week without gambling, then relapse. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m tired. I’m only 22 but I feel like an old man inside. I just want to be free of this.

Some weekends I would just sit ar home all day and gamble. Baseball/basketball during the day, AFL/NRL in the afternoon and evening, midnight to 6am was european soccer. Id sleep for 3 hours max. I have a PROBLEM. Ive foregone nights out with friends just to gamble, Ive stolen to repay to debts, Ive made countless excuses as to why I dont have money (ie I forgot my card at home or my card was stolen etc), I’ve been at a funeral checking scores, Ive been at work checking scores, I’ve cried myself to sleep countless times, Ive binged on food and alcohol to numb the pain. I have done so many horrible things because of this addiction. Its time I get my act together.

Things 2 do:

- stop watching sports because my brain associates sports with gambling. Plus I can never watch a game without getting that itch to bet.
- cut off all enablers ie people who enable me to bet (gambling buddies)
- surf the urges
- self exclude myself from every online bookmaker
- take each day at a time

This will be my last ever ‘day one’. Because I plan not to relapse again.

Taking suggestions on things that might help. Thanks.
Last edited by JC on Fri Apr 27, 2018 5:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
JC
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby Mona58 » Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:29 am

Hi EFC

welcome to the forum.

As you say it is a vicious cycle when we gamble. The road to quitting is vicious in another way but one that reaps rewards.

Perhaps you can call the gamb helpline on 1800 858 858 when urges hit hardest or just for an understanding voice.

stay strong through the mental and physical impacts... these will pass but it is a life time awareness,

Wishing you well on journey.

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby chilaxis » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:39 pm

Hi EFC, I think I share the same poison as you - Sports Betting. I'm on Day 11 now gamble-free (before by last gamble, I relapsed on Day 5 and had to reset to Day 1).

The key is to think about people you care for the most (in my case it's my wife and two children) and forget about gaining (or regaining) money through gambling. Any record or memory of a win is an illusion to draw you into a hole that gets bigger and bigger (see chart on my post). This is what keeps me going. Also, try to schedule an appointment with a gambling therapist near you - it's free of charge. I remember her words "What are you really gambling with?" very vividly - and it holds me back too.

The tragedy of it all is that watching sports, which I have loved since I was a child has now been tainted by the gambling industry, and just like you, since I started gambling, I cannot now watch a football/soccer game without thinking about a bet. And I get depressed when the result I would've made a bet on went my way. So this part I haven't figured out yet on what to do. But so far I've averted the urge to gamble for 11 days, and I plan on not turning back. I'm struggling, but doing just enough so far.

We can do this - a day at a time.
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby JC » Tue Apr 24, 2018 5:47 pm

@ Chilaxis

I remember 5/6 years ago when I could sit back and watch my team play, cheer them on and celebrate a goal. Now, its all numbers, margins and total goals etc. Its a sad reality the sports punter has to face. Its a lot different to the pokies, where you can just not go to a venue, we have access to betting through our phones. We can do it all from the comfort from our couch. Stopping watching sports is the way to go. I just need to find a new hobby to replace gambling/sports.

I just need a new practice/method when the urge arises. Like if Im having an urge just put my phone down for ten minutes so I cant access funds/betting sites.

Its tough
JC
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby JC » Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:25 pm

JC
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby JC » Thu Apr 26, 2018 8:53 pm

Extremely hard today. I logged in to my accounts several times and looked at betting markets for this broncos/souths game. Ultimately, I did not bet. Yes I will self exclude soon. But honestly, there are so many ways to bet self exclusion is almost a pointless act.
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby How the F did I get here » Thu Apr 26, 2018 9:40 pm

Sounds like you are fed up and completely ready to give up!!! Good for you, just remind yourself of all those points, every time you think about gambling!

And you are 100% correct gambling addicts are no different to drug attics, we are all the same.

Like yourself I also have a problem with food, i gamble, smoke, binge eat which when I fall off track with one its like a domino effect. It sucks!

Anyway good luck, keep positive, ypu can do it!!!
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby JC » Thu Apr 26, 2018 9:54 pm

How the F did I get here wrote:Sounds like you are fed up and completely ready to give up!!! Good for you, just remind yourself of all those points, every time you think about gambling!

And you are 100% correct gambling addicts are no different to drug attics, we are all the same.

Like yourself I also have a problem with food, i gamble, smoke, binge eat which when I fall off track with one its like a domino effect. It sucks!

Anyway good luck, keep positive, ypu can do it!!!


I am fed up. Ive been gambling for around 5 years. Addictively gambling for around 3 years. No matter how many times I thought I hit rock bottom, I managed to sink to a newer low. I just want to go back to the times where gambling wasnt on my mind 24/7.

The hardest part about gambling, is the fact that youre all alone. Maybe if you have a wife/kids, they will eventually find out. But as a single guy living with my parents, nobody knows. I’m in isolation. Gambling addictions use the same part of the brain as drug addictions, yes, its the dopamine hits and the reward center. Buts its different. Its not like alcoholism, or drug addictions that alter your mind. When youre a drug addict, the people around you will know, same thing with alcoholism. But gambling? Youre all alone. To the outside world, you’re just a regular person.!

Honestly, I dont want to confess to friends/family because once you confess youll never be trusted with money. Itll always be hanging over your head. I honestly dont want that.
JC
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby How the F did I get here » Thu Apr 26, 2018 10:24 pm

I meant that we are no different to drug addicts as in, you hear a lot about people calling drug addicts (junkies) and all sorts of derogatory comments. Like drug addicts are looked on by society as lowest and perhaps wouldnt put gambling addicts in the same category, when an addiction is an addiction simple as that!!!!

Yeah I get what you are saying about being a single guy and no one knows, but believe me your family will start to piece things together if you keep going.

My child doesnt know, too young thank god hopfully I can stay clean before she pieces it all together. But a few of my close family know now!!! But in saying that I have led a double life for years in the sense none of my friends know Ive had a gambling problem for 15 years!

Anyway being effing fed up witb yourself and remember that feeling always!!!@
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Re: My Last Day One

Postby JC » Thu Apr 26, 2018 11:49 pm

How the F did I get here wrote:I meant that we are no different to drug addicts as in, you hear a lot about people calling drug addicts (junkies) and all sorts of derogatory comments. Like drug addicts are looked on by society as lowest and perhaps wouldnt put gambling addicts in the same category, when an addiction is an addiction simple as that!!!!

Yeah I get what you are saying about being a single guy and no one knows, but believe me your family will start to piece things together if you keep going.

My child doesnt know, too young thank god hopfully I can stay clean before she pieces it all together. But a few of my close family know now!!! But in saying that I have led a double life for years in the sense none of my friends know Ive had a gambling problem for 15 years!

Anyway being effing fed up witb yourself and remember that feeling always!!!@



My family do know I like to have a punt here and there, but none of them know its anything serious. I just cant keep going on living like this. People talk about bet filters for online and self exclusions, but all these are petty acts. Theres so many ways to bet, if you want to have a bet, then youll find a way to bet.

I can easily go 4/5 days without gambling, but when the weekend hits...i work from 6-4 on saturdays. Around 2/3 pm I always get this ache to bet. Having a punt after a hard days work. Thats when I lose a lot of control. (Sometimes mid week too but not as common.

Mini goal: get through this weekend without gambling.
JC
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