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My Demons

The 100 Day Challenge is a program where you set your goals - reduce your gambling or stop gambling altogether, it's up to you. Log onto the 100 Day Challenge website to follow the real stories of four Australians trying to give up gambling for inspiration and get the tools and support you need to find the real you. Click here to sign up, and post about your own challenge here on the Gambling Help Online Community Forum!


My Demons

Postby Josh.Mclean » Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:42 pm

Hi everyone,

I have spent the last couple of hours reading over everyone's stories. As you can probably assume my story tracks along a similar line but i wont bother you with the finer details relating to my addiction. I have started the challenge today and like a few other posters my biggest fear was/is of failure.

I lost my monthly pay cheque in roughly 30 minuets this afternoon. My wife doesn't know yet, she works 12 hour days. Fair to say its not going to be a fun conversation when she finishes in the next hour or so.

I have decided to make this post to give myself something to refer back to. I know by reading the responses it definitely helps the OP when the receive positive feedback and reassurance that they can stay the course.

I don't wanna be that guy that loses his family due to a gambling problem. Is this the moment i change my ways? or is this my usual routine of feeling guilty and sorry for my self and the next opportunity i get to gamble i take it without hesitation.

Thanks in advance for your support, lord knows i need it.

JM
Josh.Mclean
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Re: My Demons

Postby pamela » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:04 am

Hi JM..you have taken the first step .the next step is up to you..if you are serious then tell your wife but ask her to help you at the same time.we make the decision to gamble so we also have to choose to stop..I hope you make the right choice
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Re: My Demons

Postby C-Anon » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:05 am

Hey Josh,

It's always good to write down the particulars of how you feel. Especially in the moment so you can look back and reflect on how it made you feel when you feel like gambling again. It's liberating really admitting how you feel. At least I feel like that, but I'm a train wreck right now. I feel like I dunno right from wrong..

Hope it all works out for you & when you're telling your missus about your slip up remember how it makes you feel. Remember that very moment so it never happens again. Being broke on payday has been a very regular occurrence in recent times. Don't let it become a habit because it just becomes the same cycle every payday. I hate myself for it...

Payday me: king, invincible, WINNER WINNER, no way I could loose my whole pay

Day after payday me: Can I even afford to buy 2 minute noodles lol
I can't even imagine being paid monthly I'd starve to death fortnightly is already to long haha

FORFIT YOUR BATTLE BEFORE YOU LOOSE EVERYTHING. It's extremely difficult to win at gambling LONG TERM. The odds are not in your favour.

You've come to the right place to start dealing with your problem, do lots of research on your addiction. I find it very interesting.

Don't question whether this is the moment you change your ways, tell yourself it is. You can keep going along uhm-ing and ahh-ing but if you tell yourself that's the last straw you're more likely to believe in yourself & realise that you can beat this 100%. Believe in yourself! Even when the next time you have cash and you wanna gamble think back to today and how went broke in 30 minutes. you got so fed-up you jumped online and looked for help. It's entirely up to you what you do. You can drag a horse to water but you can't make it drink haha

ALL THE BEST I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT MATE AND GOOD ON YOU FOR SEEKING HELP. CALL THE GAMBLING HELPLINE IF YOU FEEL LIKE GAMBLING AGAIN, THEY WILL DISTRACT YOU.

Regards
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Re: My Demons

Postby Sheryl » Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:04 am

I hear you loud and clear Josh. I myself have done the very same thing. But today, I quit. For the past 2 years I have lied to myself about my addiction to gambling, but now I'm going to be honest with my family. I think I have given Sportsbet and William Hill a **** load of my hard earned money, and I am forever trying to win it back, but they just keep taking, to the point I had to cancel our family holiday. Well enough is enough of these parasite websites, that are so "friendly".
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Re: My Demons

Postby Josh.Mclean » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:07 am

Awesome guys,

Thanks heaps for the replies. It's always a nice feeling knowing you are not alone. I will continue to post each day in my 100 day challenge and I will continually return back to this post for inspiration. Thanks again guys.
Josh.Mclean
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Re: My Demons

Postby pamela » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:41 pm

Keep the positive attitude going Josh..this addiction can be beaten
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Re: My Demons

Postby jimi68 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:03 am

I don't wanna be that guy that loses his family due to a gambling problem. Is this the moment i change my ways? or is this my usual routine of feeling guilty and sorry for my self and the next opportunity i get to gamble i take it without hesitation.


yeah,
I did that hundreds of times over 10 years.....
until I realized it I need to do more than that old routine.
it took me 10 years of acumulating NO savings (I'm single)
and then losing my whole nestegg in the bank ($30,000)
49 years old and only $500 to my name
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had to reach the bottom.......
theres more, but ill spare you the details
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you don't stop and keep going......... whats it gonna take...... (getting to the bottom, losing it all?)
you don't want that ....so stop it now.
you sound to me to be posting for encouragement rather than wanting long posts bout advice
(which is what I often do and it probably annoys-see I caant even write thiss post without going on, and on.....)
so I'm gonn be as brief as I can. he....he....he.... :)

make sure you tell here if you fail and also when you succeed...
you took the first steps to creating a life the way you want it to be....
many don't
and stay the way they are....
but not you..
your going to succeed.
jimi68
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Re: My Demons

Postby Josh.Mclean » Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:22 pm

Thanks Jimi

Yeh I guess this is just the beginning of a long road. You're right I guess it's more the encouragement side of things that drove me to post, seeing others succeed will really help.

No doubt we have all been advised to stop gambling by someone at some point in our lives. Up until this point that advice has fallen on deaf ears on my end.

Yesterday was the first day in months I hadn't placed a wager, it's an incredably small step, but it's a start :D
Josh.Mclean
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Re: My Demons

Postby debsta70 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:48 pm

Hi Josh, I am a new member to this group as well
Day 8 for me and every day i have been on here reading every one's stories and responses.
I have taken this week off work to do this.
It is inspiring but also sad seeing all the relapses which they say is normal.
But one day at a time i guess. I am really hoping a relapse doesnt come, am i fooling myself for a big fall?
I dunno, only time will tell
All i know is we are here for the same reason, to make our lives better and feel like we have achieved stuff in our lives gamble free. I am 47 years old with 2 grown up children that have always known they have a mum who is an addicted gambler. Maybe one day they can be proud of me
Good luck in your journey moving forward and dont hesitate to add me as a friend so we can support each other
Deb
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Re: My Demons

Postby Catherine1 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:22 pm

Welcome Debsta70 to the challenge. I can tell you, that you never plan to have a relapse, but sometimes they happen. I unfortunately, had a relapse last week after being 13 weeks gamble free. It came down to the fact I had a lot of stress going on that week, and I believe I let down my defences and caved in to the pull of gambling. As much as I am upset this happened, I now know I need to put further strategies in place for this to not happen in the future. I have screwed down my atm cards to only be able to withdraw $100 at a time. No cash = No Gambling. I regularly walk with my neighbour after work and this has helped in the way I feel better about myself and have also lost weight. Gambling and self esteem I think are linked. When you are feeling crap/lonely/depressed I believe you are more likely to have a relapse. You need to train your brain to replace your gambling with other activities. I love cooking, gardening, craft (making cards), walking. I find if I keep myself busy with those sort of activities I am less likely to want to gamble. All the best.
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