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Fathers gambling addiction is back

Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns and get some helpful tips.

Fathers gambling addiction is back

Postby Daydreambeliever » Mon May 21, 2018 10:25 pm

Hi everyone

I’m new here. I don’t know what to do— my father just retired unexpectedly, he’s a successful businessman, nearly 69 years of age. I live overseas and have been back the past few months to reapply for my next visa for where I live. Long story short, after some career disappointment, dad went back to his previous workplace to finish his career and unfortunately it wasn’t a match, again. He spent most of his career there so this has been a huge letdown and confusing time for him. He used to tell me stories of when he was in his twenties before he met my mum saying he was a hopeless gambler. My parents are separated but still are friendly and have joint finances etc. On top of everything going on with my dad, he has anger issues. We’ve had some explosive arguments in the past weeks and he is planning to relocate somewhere else for retirement and keeps vowing to change and carry out his retirement plan as soon as he moves— my issue with that is “wherever you go, there you are”. I’m also going through a huge split myself and am away from the home I’ve spent the past five years building OS. Part of me wants to yell and scream and tell him how ashamed and disappointed I am in him. But I know I need to control myself and be compassionate, problem is, he doesn’t listen or think he needs help even though he’s admitted both to my mum and I separately on two occassions that he feels he is on the brink of a breakdown. This feels much bigger than anything I can handle and I’ve spent years doing therapy and reading self help books so anytime I try to gently offer life advice, he thinks I’m trying to therapize him. I probably am because I can’t really sit back and let him deteriorate. Thinking of attending a support meeting and speaking with someone on the help line to figure out some gentle approaches. Grateful to have a place to talk about this.
Daydreambeliever
Junior Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 10:11 pm

Re: Fathers gambling addiction is back

Postby Mona58 » Tue May 22, 2018 6:27 am

Hi Daydreambeliever,

Sorry to hear about your dilemma. You are taking on a fair bit, having your own issues and trying to take care of your Dad. One thing I can say is that parents do resent having their child parenting them, it is natural. You need to take care of yourself first otherwise your own issues can distort the help you are trying to give your Dad.

Do ring the gamb helpline 1800 858 858 and attending a support meeting would be benefical because it would / could put your mind at ease a bit,

Wish you well on your journey.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Posts: 807
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

Re: Fathers gambling addiction is back

Postby Daydreambeliever » Tue May 22, 2018 8:18 am

Thanks Mona, will do 🙂
Daydreambeliever
Junior Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 10:11 pm


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