My daughter has a gambling addiction.

[Daughtersupport]

My son in law rings me at times because he doesn't know what to do about my daughter's gambling addiction. They are renovating their house and the bills have piled up. She is in a successful job.
I can understand why she is gambling but she just won't admit that she has a problem and so I can't help her. My parents were alcoholics. My father gave it up but my mother couldn't. It destroyed her and my father didn't support her. Their problem was the business that they had.
I can see my daughter going down the same road.
I don't want to seem like I am taking sides but my son in law is a good hard working man who will lose everything that they have worked for if she doesn't stop.
I suggested that he ring the Gambling Help number and he was told that there's nothing they can do until she rings them. He is lost.
Who can he ring for some advice and support before it all comes crashing down.
My daughter is taking money from their mortgage account.

[JinxyWolf]

Hi DaughterSupport and Welcome,

A a gambler myself I know that there was no way I was going to stop unless it was my decision to do so, having people tell me otherwise just put me on the defensive and I gambled more in rebellion. Unfortunately it usually takes us hitting rock bottom before we realize just how bad things have gotten. Sometimes that means loosing everything. Your daughter will not stop until the consequences of her gambling become larger than her desire to gamble. I think your son in law and even yourself need to start showing her those consequences. He needs to take control of the finances, especially if she is redrawing form the home loan. It is his life as well, he needs to protect himself.

Perhaps once she starts to see and feel the consequences of her gambling she will seek help, and then she will need your support.

I wish you all the best.

JinxyWolf

[pamela]

I agree with everything Jinxywolf has said..until she hits rockbottom she might not stop.try reaching out to her and offer support and understanding and help..she will get defensive at the start but it might sow the seed and make her think about her actions..I hope you can help her turn her life around

[Noah (facilitator)]

Hi Pamela,
I'm Noah, one of the facilitators on this website. While it is true that your son in law cannot stop your daughter from gambling, there are things he can do to protect himself and encourage her to make changes when she is ready.

Your son is eligible for free counselling and financial counselling through a gamblers help service. A financial counsellor can advise him around how he can protect himself financially so that he is least likely to be impacted by your daughters gambling and a counsellor can help your son to decide what boundaries he needs to put into place to make sure that he is not enabling your daughter's gambling in any way. (This can be subtle and tricky but making a plan with a gambling help counsellor around how he would do this may be helpful). Hopefully this information was also relayed to him when he called the helpline. If he calls Gamblers Helpline again and asks for the number of his local gamblers help service, they will give him the number.
You would also be eligible to see a counsellor about your daughter's gambling if you would like support in managing this or any tricky conversations with her.
Hope that helps!
Noah