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Hubby doesn't think he had an issue

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Hubby doesn't think he had an issue

Postby Kelpick11 » Mon May 14, 2018 11:07 am

I don't even know where to begin..
This long journey of 7.5yrs has been such a rollacoaster.
We have been together for 7.5yrs and have been married for 1mth (yes one month),..
He had always had the pokie addition well before I came along, he would get his whole pay back then and blow the lot in one night then go to cash converters or other 3rd party cash loan places to keep going..
Before we got together I didn't know a thing about it, IV never had a interest in pokies..
After a while he would say he didn't have money to take me on dates etc, and being a few mths in to this relationship I kept my mouth shut as you know it's knew!..
Anyway as the yrs have gone on at lease monthly I'm faced with a screaming match with him as he gambles all the time.. his family are also gambllers, his brother and both parents use to do it aswell, unfortunately both his parents died within 6wks of eachother due to cancer, that was 4yrs ago.. I remember the night before his mum's funeral we had a big group of family over and he got so angry with me as he'd been drinking and his cuz we're encouraging to go down to the pub so they could gamble.. I said no n took his keys, the result of that was him punching a elec box and the next day had a swallon hand.. IV heard many lies, many "sorrys" but now I'm at a point where its effecting my mentally, I feel like I'm the crazy one for being concerned about money.. his mum had left a considerable amount of money for him and his brother, his brother had an addition aswell and always suffers from a mental illness witch I'm told can also play a role in gamberling.. his brother lives with us (,6yrs this Xmas) and it's like a competition between them.. and I'm not dealing with it well..

We got married a mth ago.. he ruined my wedding week.. we had the rare opportunity for a family member to watch our 3 boys for a few hrs while we "enjoyed" dinner etc.. as soon as we left dinner his like let's go to the pub.. I reluctantly said I didn't want to add I knew what would happen and his always ever saying just $50.. he.. so that I didn't cause a scene I left him have his way.. $1300 in the space of 2hrs while I just say their on my phone watching... I felt like he knew from the start of that night this is what he was going to do after dinner.. witch crushed me.. this was our wedding weekend. And he couldn't even last.. the enxt day we went out with family to a venue for lunch (I cringe everytime we have to go to one), he went in while he left me with the kids and family.. after 20mins we were all leaving... He came in **** at me coz I was rushing him.. and that he couldn't enjoy himself.. in the car I was blamed.. he asked me to drop him off down the Rd where we were staying to another venue.. I cried.. I was angry, I dropped him off and drove back to our accommodation... 2hrs later he calls me to pick him up.. I did.. to save the **** with family I lied saying he was asleep in the cabin..
We got home after it all I had told him he ruined my wedding.. as that's all he could think about, he didn't care.. and still doesn't.. IV tried n tried to hold his cards and have him have cash, IV tried to tell him my feelings and I'm always the "dramatic" one.. and that I need to relax and that I'm just crazy.. he just last week did a course in the city for a new job.. on the Thurs and Fri he was late to footy training and I was 40min to my mother's day kinder night coz after the course he went to a venue . I told him how pissed I was that I'm missing out of stuff with the kids when his ment to be helping on as I can't be at 2 places at once.. I also had a girls night out at the movies with his family and he calls me at 5pm saying he was just leaving the course n he should be back in time.. but the course finished at 2pm I later found out.. he actually put pokies over me..

He spend about 5k in 3wks and won. 9k, back about 2wks ago and was proud coz he got back what he lost.. I was unimpressed as he was gone from 11.30am-,2am the next morning.. hurt and angry I had it out with him..

Of course tho coz he won I was being the downer and the dramatic one, I then open a bank statement last week. Horribied I find $1500 spent of Facebook pokie game.. he jumped up said he was done with me snooping (even tho I opened it near him and always open then) he chased me down the side of the house trying to grab it off me so I wouldn't see the amount he had spent.. he was angry at me.. I said I was leaving and he said good do it.. he didn't care.. IV never been so hurt and the lying is making me so resentful of him ATM.. IV told him I didn't get married for him to hide money or lie to me when I ask him questions.. his responce is his never allow to enjoy it coz inruin it.. IV told him he needs help.. I tried everything.. even down to saying I need to speak to my dad about it as I can't do this anymore.. it's like he knows I won't.. like I'm never gonna follow through.. he cut me from accessing any online accounts as he didn't want me snooping.. I said obviously coz your still doing it, I later find out I was right..

I myself am only on Centrelink..
He was made redundant last Nov and hasn't got a job ATM but is doing the courses for it..

I'm so stressed my mental wellbeing is making me crazy..
I can't parent propley as I'm so on edge, I snap at the kids, I'm **** all the time, I feel hurt, angry, and I don't know what to do...

I feel like I need to leave so he sees I'm 100% serious.. but how the hell do I do that when he knows he has money to fall back on, that's his additude ATM, and I'm watching him fall further n further down and it's scary.. there is so much that we need to do to the house etc and there is no motivation from him.. his got no interest in doing anything with me or the kids.. he sits on his phone all the bloody time.. I don't no how much more I can handle.. I feel like I'll end up in a nut house soon enuf..
I'm sorry if this all seems scattered or doesn't make sense.. my head is everywhere it's so overwhelming for me .

Can anyone help me with advice?
Kelpick11
Junior Member
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 10:19 am

Re: Hubby doesn't think he had an issue

Postby Mona58 » Mon May 14, 2018 1:48 pm

Hello Kelpick '

Sorry that you are in such a dilemma.

I would suggest you call the Gamb Helpline on 1800 858 858. They are not just for gamblers and help spouses too. They will be able to better advice you.

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
Senior Member
 
Posts: 732
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am


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