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My personal diary: The Relapse

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My personal diary: The Relapse

Postby Lasofnp0 » Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:46 pm

Hi everyone,

A brief history of my gambling addiction: I started gambling as soon as I turned 18. I am now in my mid-twenties. Every time there was a celebration of some sort among friends or family members - we went to the casino. As of last December, I was introduced to the world of online pokies. It was thrilling to win large amounts in between my dreary and anxiety provoking post graduate studies. Unsurprisingly, this soon led to the loss of all my savings, lying to my partner, and so forth - it was simply destructive. I didn't have much in the first place, but ratio-wise it was considered a lot for me.

History of mental disorder/s: I suffer from depression, anxiety, and have a borderline personality disorder. I am quite aware of the effects these have on me.

Reasons to stop gambling: Above all else, I must do this to save my relationship. My partner needs me - gambling is severely damaging our relationship. He feels like he's drowning in work and life. I exacerbate this issue with my problem gambling, and I need to help myself before I can help him.

Past attempts to stop gambling: Multiple attempts had been made, I have relapsed 3 times within the past 3 months. No link, thus far, with amount gambled and time between relapses. My first relapse was associated with the loss of my beloved pet dog. The second was out of compulsivity. The third was triggered by finding funds accidentally transferred to my bank account and not my partner's. Note: I thought I have properly relinquished all funds to my partner, however, some money was sent to my personal account.

Recent events of relapse: After finding money sent to my bank account, I went straight to my favourite online casinos. I'm not going to make excuses anymore about why I started playing. I just did it. I placed most of these gambling credits on my credit card. I knew this was an issue, and I immediately confessed to my partner what had happened, and his sheer disappointment crushed me.

Goals: I clearly need strategies to implement when I become tempted and take it days, weeks, and months at a time.

If anyone is reading this, how have you handled your relapses? I understand it's a part of recovery. Has cutting it cold turkey worked? What have been your most successful method?

Thank you for your time.
Lasofnp0
Junior Member
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:04 pm

Re: My personal diary: The Relapse

Postby Jerry (facilitator) » Mon Aug 21, 2017 5:12 pm

Hi Lasofnp0,

I am not a gambler myself but I have some experience working with gambling problems. There are two main types of tips that people will give. Ways to make it harder to gamble (self exclusion, financial restriction etc), and Ways to replace gambling (finding new hobbies, making new friends, socializing etc).

I think the people that have the most success use both of these types of strategies.

As for making it harder to gamble, you might try self exclusion. One problem with online gambling is that the website might not be based in Australia so won't have to adhere to our laws. Those websites can be hard to get away from. If it is an Australia site then you should be able to remove yourself. If the site is based elsewhere it might be harder. Thankfully people have developed gambling blocking software (not free unfortunately, but much cheaper than gambling).
If you want to try the blocking software have a look at:
http://www.gamblock.com/
or
http://www.betfilter.com/

The forums are full of different ideas for alternatives to gambling. Have a read through and see what will suit you.

It takes courage to share your story even in an online forum, so thank you for having the courage to share.

Welcome to the forum :)
Jerry (facilitator)
Senior Member
 
Posts: 268
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2015 12:02 pm

Re: My personal diary: The Relapse

Postby Pea pod » Mon Aug 21, 2017 7:29 pm

Hi. Well done for coming on this forum it does help. I know all about the dreaded relapse too well. I know how you feel. You have described your triggers and reasons to relapse very clearly so you understand that emotional issues send you off to gamble. What I am doing now in my journey is really focusing on my triggers and learning to deal with them in a different way. On the weekend I had an urge after being two weeks into gamble free days so I automatically went for a walk alone and called the helpline to talk about it. You see we need to accept out relapses but learn from them aswell. Forgive ourselves and try again. When you have your urge and trigger get online and talk about it or call the helpline, walk, clean, eat, sleep what ever you can do to elevate the triggers and help the urge to subside. Don't worry about the past just try to focus on today and then face tomorrow when it comes. Good luck.
Pea pod
Member
 
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2017 12:23 pm

Re: My personal diary: The Relapse

Postby Catherine1 » Tue Aug 22, 2017 6:43 pm

All the best Lasofnp0 with your challenge. I am 14 days gamble free after a relapse. Prior to this I was 13 weeks gamble free. I find I am better to not to play pokies at all. I now know that stress makes me want to gamble,so I have to put strategies in place when I am stressed. I also have to plan my weekends with lots of activities so I dont have time to gamble.
Catherine1
Member
 
Posts: 91
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 9:19 am


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