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The Years

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The Years

Postby Ted70 » Sat Apr 22, 2017 5:48 am

I must say thankyou for reminding me to start at Day 1.
Gambling was introduced to me at the ripe old age of 15. Sitting up on a stool next to an adult pulling the handle down on a 5c machine.
Fast forward 13yrs and after 6 months of marriage to a man i absolutely adored was told that he had been stealing from my family and had been caught out. I wasnt going to turn my back on him i dove head first into helping supporting and sticking by him. But my God that was an inexcusable sneeky cunning act but i married for better or worse and there it was. He took himself off to a GA meeting where i was also embrased and welcomed. I remained a $5 here and there gambler with no problems especially after hearing the stories at the GA meetings just devostating.
Needless to say life was a big rollercoaster ride during the next 5yrs eventually the lies and deciet took there toll and we divorced.
A year later i started dating again and low and behold after going through my savings traveling the country i had another gambler sharing my life. The only difference this time was i began to gamble to. It wasnt a problem i had fun nothing more always being a responsible person paying the bills but over the years it crept up and up until i was trying to make the budget go further than it could actually allocating how much i had to gamble with. I began the lies, yes thats paid no you cant theres not enough this week as did he and eventually we were living a very unhealthy life. Seperating after 7yrs again lies and deciet destroy everything but we had been to hell and back and both wanted to remained seperated in different dwellings but remained a couple.
I had to sign a part 9 agreement because stuipidly i had the majority of loans credit cards blah blah in my name and it was left to me to pay by then i was in the Red every Thursday and left with no option.
I have managed to keep my head above water with one incident of arrers rent nearly landing me on the street so a wake up call and around 2 to 3yrs ago actually starting at day 1 i did a whole 12 months i was so proud of myself.
Between May and October 2016
I ended the 14yr relationship,had my dog of 13yrs put down. Lost my one and only best friend in Cairns to grief after her mother died she pushed everyone away and endured several very turbulent work place changes .
Right when my life was supposed to be taking a turn for the better it started crashing down.
I actually coped fairly well for the first 6 months and the last 6 have been nothing but a downward spiral fortnight after fortnight loosing everything debit pilling up
all around just going hard losing everything on pay day. The pay day loans the vicious cycle until today backed into a corner with no way out accounts all overdrawn i week rent in arrers i spent money collected that was not mine to spend. No petrol no food no basic hygine productis. Progressively getting worse every pay day.
I cant understand how with what i have been through knowing i have to look after me i can so stipuidly sit and feed pokies. Its like i dont want the money its like its easier to just get rid of it than fight the urge to gamble.
I am scared of myself and i havent been before its out of control.
I just get worse because its just me my only sister has her own problems and is judgemental so i dont go there ihave 2 friends here that i know i could trust to talk to But they have families with there own problems i really do need someone that understands me some councilling to help un- muddel my thoughts someone that can tell me to wake up to myself and shake the stupidity out of me.
And i really need the financial assistance to limit access to my pay otherwise i am afraid this will be on repeat fortnightly. I want to STOP.

So bring on day 1 today Saturday the 22nd April. Let this be the day i am celebrating this time next year as 12 months proud.
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Re: The Years

Postby POPEYE » Sun Apr 23, 2017 8:36 am

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Last edited by POPEYE on Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Years

Postby Ted70 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:55 am

Thanks Popeye
I have given alot of thought on handeling my financial situation got alot of good ideas reading posts and will add the coles card to the list good idea.
Ive committed to a new boot camp starts in 2 weeks which is perfect because i cant pay for it till then so that seemed like good timing.
Councilor definitely ive found the support group in the area and have the number ready to call tomorrow. Hope you had a good work out. And thanks for the advice on my choice of men.
Seriously i dont have any regrets they came into my life because they were meant to and they were lucky to i have a big heart and when im in im in theres no inbetween. My only regret is the lack of self respect and how poorly i am treating me.
I feel really good today.
Turning my lounge room into my daily motivational dose room.
Take Care and thankyou
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Re: The Years

Postby Jerry (facilitator) » Thu Apr 27, 2017 4:23 pm

I love all of Popeye's advice. I think following those strategies are your best bet to start with. The only think I would add would be to talk with a financial counselor (Call 1800 007 007, 9-4.30 M-F).

I will be really interested to hear about what you try and what works for you.
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Re: The Years

Postby Ted70 » Fri Apr 28, 2017 4:01 pm

Thanks Jerry.
Ive seen a councillor and i was directed to what i though was a financial councillor but wasnt.
He was some sort of finance person and he tried all week to get me some emergency relief but for whatever reason was turned down.
Which was a bit depressing. I ended up turning to a friend who at least was able to give me a bag of food so i didnt go hungry.im not one bit interested in gambling but an pretty down embarrassed ashamed and keep getting a tight chest .with anxiety and now i have to call my landlord as i couldnt access rent assistance either.
Aĺl i do know is that i will never put myself in this position ever again.
I have an appointment on Tuesday with a financial councillor so i hope we have better luck there with payment plans ect.
I attened a support group meeting on wednesday which was good and although this is as low as i think i have ever been its a good thing at the same time. Will keep you posted. Thanks
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Re: The Years

Postby blastoise (facilitator) » Wed May 03, 2017 7:43 pm

Ted70 wrote:Thanks Jerry.
Ive seen a councillor and i was directed to what i though was a financial councillor but wasnt.
He was some sort of finance person and he tried all week to get me some emergency relief but for whatever reason was turned down.
Which was a bit depressing. I ended up turning to a friend who at least was able to give me a bag of food so i didnt go hungry.im not one bit interested in gambling but an pretty down embarrassed ashamed and keep getting a tight chest .with anxiety and now i have to call my landlord as i couldnt access rent assistance either.
Aĺl i do know is that i will never put myself in this position ever again.
I have an appointment on Tuesday with a financial councillor so i hope we have better luck there with payment plans ect.
I attened a support group meeting on wednesday which was good and although this is as low as i think i have ever been its a good thing at the same time. Will keep you posted. Thanks

Hi Ted, just read your post, how did you go with the financial counsellor? Was it helpful?
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Re: The Years

Postby Ted70 » Thu May 04, 2017 5:26 am

Unfortunatly all the Emergency Relief they tried to access was declined..
However i am very good with budgets on paper its the actually paying the fortnightly items that i fail on. She could tell i know what to do and how to do it and didnt feel i needed to be instructed any further on the topic.
I actually went to the bank and took the atm access off the card and as i pay stuff tomorrow will set up the reoccuring fortnightly payments on everything.
They couldnt help reduce my payments on my overdraft because thats different to a credit card and apparently banks very rarely budge on that.
I Can still apply for the electricity rebate when that comes in and tax return will help take off some pressure when that comes round
Sorted out all my other commitments myself.
Was a hard day yesterday knowing im getting paid and i delibaterly made an appointment for today with the councillor knowing today will be hard. But good to know that the urges only last 30 mins before they die down. Also no access to accounts helps as i know there will be cash in there this evening.
I keep looking at the budget a clear reminder of the situation i have put myself in for months to come but if i stick to it i will come out the other side by mid october so thats my first real goal to get there.
It was disapointing first finding the uniting care community making the appointment opening up back again to the finance area where i was told they would be able to help me and i had options only to return and be told there was nothing they could access to help me. But i am surviving marking the days off the calender one by one praying for strengh guidence and courage every day.
Thanks was this what you expected ?
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Re: The Years

Postby pamela » Thu May 04, 2017 8:33 am

Hi..please be strong and resist those urges so you can sort yourself out..gambling is so destructive but once you stop and stop adding to the financial problems it brings life becomes much better.Once you recognise the triggers and learn to deal with them..the urge to play gets less..good luck with this ..take one day at a time and dont think too far ahead..
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Re: The Years

Postby Ted70 » Thu May 04, 2017 8:29 pm

Thanks Pamela
Popeye mentioned in an earlier post that there seemed to be more going on in my situation.
I went to the councillor today and talking to her i realised that i was still hurting more than i knew about 3 very big losses in my life consecutively between April and September last year. I knew i had buried the feelings so i didnt feel the pain and know this but become stuck in getting them out now. Usually i am the rock the problem solver but have not experienced this before so at least we know the what and can work from there.
Nothing like jumping into your runners for a nice brisk 30 minute power walk to desolve the urge take one look at my budget and focus on the goal to achieve by October.
Thankyou i am being positive as much as possible and trying to get out and spend time with my real friends.
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Re: The Years

Postby Noah (facilitator) » Fri May 05, 2017 10:51 am

Hi Ted,
Just wanted to check, was the financial counsellor you saw through a Gamblers Help Service? They may have access to other things that could assist you to get you through this period... definitely worth a free appointment to see if they could do anything more for you (if you haven't accessed this already). Just call Gamblers Helpline on: 1800 858 858 to find out the closest service to you
Take care and let me know how you go!!
Noah
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