" "

When You Break

This forum is designed for you to chart your progress in working to overcome your gambling concerns and your ongoing recovery. Take us all on your road to recovery!

When You Break

Postby JamesC » Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:55 pm

I started the 100-day challenge again recently, having gone back to the pokies after a long lull. Like so many others, I started with the best intentions and full of intent to stay away from the machines. But less than a week into the new regime, I strayed back to the pub at lunchtime to initially blow the $90 in my wallet, then $200 I pulled out of the nearby auto-teller and then another $200. I recovered just over half of it, but walked out filled with the familiar cocktail of emotions - self-recrimination, regret, guilt, shame and disgust.

I'm a professional man, in my 50s, well educated, should know better, DO know better. So why do I continue putting myself through this ordeal. The consequences are all bad. On this particular occasion, I was away from work for three hours and missed an important meeting. I had to juggle the family finances and invent elaborate excuses for the missing cash. I awoke in the middle of the night questioning my sanity. I thought of all the therapy I have been through and the research I had read on gambling addiction and the built-in design in gambling machines that draws people in and keeps them playing. What do you do? How do you overcome it?

And practically speaking, when you break, do you start the 100 days all over again.

Yours in shame and regret.

James
Too much else to live for than destroying myself gambling.
JamesC
Junior Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 3:05 pm

Re: When You Break

Postby annnie » Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:13 pm

Hi,

No cash no play.

Hope you are able to get support within your family and through this site. Please remember you are not the only one, we are all going through or have been through the same emotional rollercoaster, stress, sleepless nights, etc etc etc.

At the end of the day it's up to us to stop and give it all we've got to live a gambling free life. I am sure you have read many other posts and the hold gambling has or had on us. Many of us have lapsed whilst trying to achieve our goal. It's the same as falling off the bike, get back on and ride. Over time it gets easier, but you have to keep your guard up and focus on other things. I am sure many will share with you , the trouble at our age is there are less working years left to get on top of things financially. Believe me vegemite sandwiches can only be tolerated for so long. !!! Addiction doesn't discriminate it will take anyone who lets it. I found reading the articles made me angry and I had to redirect that anger towards the industry itself for me to move forward rather than being hard on myself all of the times. It's not blame , it's seeing the industry and govt for what it is. Find other games to play or activities to do that give you the same feeling, but at no cost. Go for a walk at lunchtime,, great for depression and anxiety. You have so much going for you don't let this horrendous past time take it all away.

Go back to counselling if that helped you before, it's tough ride , not easy , but when you work out what you need to do to protect yourself and stop it will get better. As for any addiction it is not an overnight fix. Fight the urges for yourself and your family.

Take care, ask questions & keep posting.
annnie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 201
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:07 pm

Re: When You Break

Postby pamela » Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:41 pm

Hi ..sorry you feel this way but gambling does that to us..we all know how wrong it is but we are compelled to keep going..we need to reach a point when enough is enough and perhaps you have reached yours..I wish you luck
pamela
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1371
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

Re: When You Break

Postby JamesC » Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:06 am

Thanks for the reply. I find these forums therapeutic in themselves in that you discover you are not the only one feeling this way.
Too much else to live for than destroying myself gambling.
JamesC
Junior Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 3:05 pm

Re: When You Break

Postby annnie » Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:15 am

Hi James,

Yes it is very supportive knowing we are not alone and there are many going through the same issues. Stay focussed and you will get back on track again. You have done it before , you can do it again. Be positive and kind to yourself, don't let the negative thoughts take control.

Take care
annnie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 201
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:07 pm

Re: When You Break

Postby Charlotte (facilitator) » Mon Jan 16, 2017 2:29 pm

Hi James and welcome to the forum.

Good on you for starting the 100 day challenge - and remind yourself that slips and lapses are part of the process. Perhaps the more important question is not whether you have to start again or continue from where you were with the 100 day challenge, rather what the journey is. E.g., what did you learn from that lapse? What would you do differently in that situation. Each day is an opportunity for learning about yourself and your gambling patterns, whether you gamble on that day or not. Keep the diary, notice your thoughts and feelings and start to observe the patterns in your gambling e.g., when is it likely to happen more? These are the sorts of things that the 100 day challenge can help you with and are more about the journey and less about the number, if you get my drift.

Courage to you, and remember, one day at a time :)

Charlotte

PS, you can call Gambler's Helpline 24/7 and speak with a trained gambling counsellor: 1800 858 858
Charlotte (facilitator)
Senior Member
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

Re: When You Break

Postby Arni » Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:48 am

Hello James...First of all i will say THIS is not a easy habit to break so dont feel like you have failed or get too negative about relapsing..... it happens to most people.Forget about it and keep focused on the positive and keep moving forwards to break this habit.
Its not easy to retrain the brain and break addictive behaviours..... be strong man keep going ...you can do it and you will do it.
We all know better that is the insidious part of this gambling addiction it buries itself deep in your brain.Dig that bugger out and get rid of it.All the best stay strong & peace to all :)
Arni
Member
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 8:23 pm


Return to Your Diary of Recovery

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest