We're all in this together

[Bob]

I'm new to this site, forums and the whole chat thing. One thing that struck me about this site and the posts is how they mirror my own experiences, including the feelings of regret and remorse of my addiction. I thought I was in control when in truth I was spiralling downwards. I lied to myself and the ones I love most. Truth is I've been gambling off and on for years, but my addiction to the machines only happened in the last 2 years.. I don't know what changed, only that I wake and hear the sounds of the machines, and find new ways to get back there so I can get in the zone and beat these machines.. I know the psychology of addictions, the learned behaviour and neural pathways that keep me trapped in this seemingly never ending cycle of loss, remorse and anger. After reading the posts of others I feel less alone. I feel there are people who genuinely know and feel my pain. It's probably for those reasons these posts are full of best wishes and support by complete strangers... As for me, I'm going for the tough love approach. I fessed up to my partner about my addiction.. I handed her total control of my money.. She allows me a few dollars each week for lunch and beers.. If I spend it on machines I have to explain to her and confess my sins. I know it will break her heart if I relapse and let her down again.. Besides, I like my beer too much.. In short, I'm not fixed. I've found a way that works for me. The longest journey starts with the first step.. Thank you to all of you who have been brave enough to share your experiences on this site.. It has given me hope and inspired me to be and do better. Love to you all.

[Elouisa]

Hi Bob, this is a great place to share, vent and heal.
You expressed yourself well.
I did smile about "get in the zone and beat these machines..."
I was always chasing my first big loss of 18 years ago. Lost heaps by betting big, betting small, early morning, midday, evening, collecting out after small wins or leaving in to accumulate blah blah..
Tried to find a winning edge.
Even if I did win I kept playing until it was gone. Maybe I was addicted to losing so I could get angry and try to quit AGAIN!
Your partner is doing the best thing to control finances. Saves temptation. No matter how noble your intentions are this cruel addiction can take hold anytime.
GA believe once a gambler has crossed the line into irresponsible gambling they can be controlled but never cured. I believe this.
All the best to you on your 'gamble-free' quest.
Enjoy your beers - far more enjoyable and social.

[Peter]

Hey there Bob,

I honestly wish that your words have real meaning to you, " In short, I'm not fixed. I've found a way that works for me." You still WANT to gamble as is evident by your admission that you will go without lunch and or a beer and then have to explain this to your wife. You want to take the tough love approach? You HAVEN"T STOPPED gambling.

Bob, call one of the counselors available on this site and start to understand what you are going through. All strength to you Bob.

[pamela]

Hi Bob and welcome.. sounds like you have found a way to curb your gambling but just sounds like you might still want to and all of us here know if the urge is strong we will stop at nothing to get money to feed our addicion..be strong enough to stay away ..enjoy a beer but maybe have it at home instead of where the machines sing their song..because we all know how thei r noise sucks s in..I say to you all..If they were black and white and silent..would we be so keen to play them?.anyway good luck and say no to gambling

[StopPunt]

I know the feeling. On way to the pub the hope and anticipation was "how good would it be to walk out with a few grand!!" It never happened and every time Id get in my car to come home with a sick feeling in my guts and an empty wallet 😠

That shocking feeling is something Im trying to hold onto. ITS NOT WORTH IT!!

[Greg_problemgambler]

It's 3:30am and I've just arrived home from the leagues club where I did $3300 in the machines. I won $1200, $1600 and $1600 and after each occasion slapped it all back through chasing the big win and also the money I had lost. I feel sick to my stomach, and this is not the first time. I'm in so much debt because of pokies I honestly don't know whether I will be able to keep my home, and cars. I have a 12 month old and 1 on the way. I have f'd up big time, my wife is also hooked I'm ready to quit but idk if my wife is and she gets really angry if she can't play! What can I do any pointers would be good.

[Jerry (facilitator)]

Hi Greg_problemgambler,

Thanks for you message. I do have a couple of bits of advice, but I will start by suggesting Gambling Counselling. Gambling is a very complex issue, and becomes even more complex when your partner gambles and it is impacting on your relationship. It is not the sort of problem that can be fixed just by reading a couple of pointers. Because gambling difficulties are so deeply ingrained, and the impact on the relationship is so difficult to sort out it is something that you might need to talk to a professional about. I would recommend trying some gambling counselling. A counselor can not only help you to start to make some changes to your gambling, but can also help you to work out the best thing you can do to encourage your partner to change. While I can make some suggestions as to how to encourage your partner to change, this should be a long and involved conversation that would be hard to do on a forum.

That said, the two best suggestions I can make that will encourage your partner to change would be to 1) gain control of your own gambling. and 2) Separate your finances as much as you can. It is really natural to help your partner with finances, and doing so can make it difficult for them to notice the impact their gambling is having.

Have a read through the forums and maybe ask some people that have been in similar situations what has helped them.

Welcome to the forums

[POPEYE]

.

[jamie93]

I must say that Kristine has thought the same thing as me. A few weeks ago I actually thought that I begin to be addicted to losing. I myself have been homeless, so the thought of "losing to lose" really ingrained into the notion that once a loser always a loser. I am new here as well. Hello to all

Hi Bob, this is a great place to share, vent and heal.
You expressed yourself well.
I did smile about "get in the zone and beat these machines..."
I was always chasing my first big loss of 18 years ago. Lost heaps by betting big, betting small, early morning, midday, evening, collecting out after small wins or leaving in to accumulate blah blah..
Tried to find a winning edge.
Even if I did win I kept playing until it was gone. Maybe I was addicted to losing so I could get angry and try to quit AGAIN!
Your partner is doing the best thing to control finances. Saves temptation. No matter how noble your intentions are this cruel addiction can take hold anytime.
GA believe once a gambler has crossed the line into irresponsible gambling they can be controlled but never cured. I believe this.
All the best to you on your 'gamble-free' quest.
Enjoy your beers - far more enjoyable and social.