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What do you do?????

What are some strategies when trying to quit or cut down? What works for you?

What do you do?????

Postby Stu » Fri May 29, 2015 5:45 am

Can anyone help me with this particular problem? What if you get the urge to go gamble and you absolutely CAN'T reason with yourself and you just GO. What if that "reasoning' with yourself just doesn't work and you just can't seem to help it? It's like other thoughts start coming into your head like "Well, I'll go with a couple hundred bucks. If I"m up 200 I'll leave. And then you don't leave. Or thoughts like "Well, if you lose 200, it's ONLY 200. It's bad. It's really bad and it's never been this way. I"m scared. I'm lonely. I can't tell anyone this disease I have. I lied to my parents about how I stopped gambling, but I haven't
Stu
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Re: What do you do?????

Postby Cherie » Fri May 29, 2015 8:35 pm

Hi there Stu, I have just come on here to have a look and see you have posted, are you new to this forum? If you are then welcome, people on here are very supportive even if it seems no one is online. In answer to your query, this is one we all have to battle with. I personally gambled 17 yrs on pokies at clubs and casinos, I have used GA groups and programs to help me personally and had mostly success with that but I know only too well that feeling, can I suggest that you use that time to call the help line which is listed on here and talk to someone, a gambling councellor, until that urge is quelled or another person who may give support. I understand that you are having to keep this horrible secret from family and friends, the people on here are always sharing their pain with that. Also reminding yourself of how much damage it does to go into that club or whatever and how disgusted you will feel with yourself next day. I myself feel that when I actually get to a point of deciding that I am going to gamble it is too late to stop myself so then the only answer to that is to stop it before its gets out of control, we compulsive gamblers can never ever again gamble like other people, responsibly that is, so the only answer is to not go anywhere near a venue and as we say at GA, don't gamble for anything. Are you interested in doing the 100 day challenge on here, several people are doing it and giving each other support with that.
I am sure that within a very short space of time a facilitator on here on this forum, will reply to your post and let you know about the phone number to ring for help and offer suggestions. Also there will be other members who will reply to you also with their stories and offer suggestions from their personal experiences. We can get on top of this destructive and crippling disease with determination to change our lives by working on our life problems that make us go running to gambling to escape and hide and make everything a million times worse in that process. I wish you very good luck and hope that someone on here will be able to give you the support you need to succeed and save your life from this devastation.
Cherie
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Re: What do you do?????

Postby Verity [facilitator] » Fri May 29, 2015 9:37 pm

Hi Stu,

It sounds like you're having a pretty hard time battling those urges. When you talk about "reasoning with yourself", I think a lot of other forum members would identify with that same concept- trying to talk yourself out of gambling, and still you inevitably end up back there again. I think that entering into that dialogue with yourself is a surefire way to end up gambling! One helpful strategy that many people have used is called the "3 D's", which stand for Delay, Distract and Desist. It goes like this:
1. DELAY- delay the decision to gamble for 30 mins. An urge is something that comes and goes, and they usually don't last longer than 20 minutes. When you give in to the urge, you're usually feeling it in its peak of intensity.
2. DISTRACT- What can you do to take your mind off gambling for 30 mins? Phone a mate? Watch a TV show? Go for a walk? Even better, call Gamblers Helpline and chat to a counsellor about your urge.
3. DESIST- The urge should have lessened in intensity now. It might still be hanging around but not as strong as it was. This is a good time to remind yourself of all the reasons you want to gain control over your gambling- relationships, finances, etc. By now, you're hopefully in a better position to make a choice which is more in line with your future goals.

A link you might find useful is this: http://www.mindfulness.org.au/urge-surf ... revention/
Partularly the part about fighting your urges actually making them stronger, which sounds like the experience you've shared with us.

As Cherie has shown, there are some wonderfully supportive people on the forums. And you can also call Gamblers Helpilne anytime for free, confidential counselling and links to further support.

Keep us posted with your progress :)

Kind regards,
Verity
Verity [facilitator]
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