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Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

What are some strategies when trying to quit or cut down? What works for you?

RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby BriM » Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:49 am

Hi Ansert,

My name's Bri and I'm one of the facilitators/administrators on the site. Welcome to the Forum, you've come to the right place!

Thanks also to everyone for your amazingly helpful and thoughtful responses - as you'll note I've moved this thread to the 'Strategies for Change' sub-forum as that's where this thread is taking us, which is GREAT!

Am loving reading your tips and feeling warm and fuzzy with the support that is in abundance!

Bri

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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby ansert » Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:52 pm

Thanks so much for the replies, support and great ideas! I'm thinking about getting my husband to handle the bills, by telling him I think we'd do better if he was in control, it would be a struggle because I am a total control freak but it would make the world of difference.

I had a long online chat to one of the counsellors here last night and already I feel much ''lighter'' from having actually verbalised, or at least typed about it. Carrying something completely on your own always weighs heavier. I had a great day of socialising and pampering, and that's what I need to do more of! I am self employed still but in a different kind of role so I don't receive cash anymore so that's something!

I will think about the transferring of money, and how best to set it up, access to cash is my MAIN problem so I need to reduce that access.

Have a great weekend everyone and enjoy your time with fun and games, just not the electronic kind
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby bebe » Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:48 am

this is my first time here.i want to stop gambling.the depression thats come with it after losing your money is bad.i always think i can get it back..i came clean to my hubby.great understanding.but what he doesnt know and nobody else is that i have been back more then i care to count and losted more money.i am so tried of worrying how to more money around to cover this up.the bad thing is the place i gamble at is 10 mins from my house.i thought i could do this alone,but now i know i cant.
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Peter » Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:04 pm

Hi Bebe,

First thing - don't think you need to do it alone. There are plenty of people out there like us who are similar, and we all know how tough it is. You will get a lot of support here, and there are counsellors who can help, whether it best for you to be online, phone or face to face.

I myself are now only in my second week of reaching out for help, and I've found this site really good and helpful, and everyone is hugely supportive.

If you read through the posts on this site, you'll see that there are a lot of suggestions. Try a few out.

Here's some initial suggestions I've learnt so far:

1. Don't beat yourself up. You are where you are, you've reached out for help, and you obviously want to change. There are plenty of people just like you, and there is plenty of help, starting here.
2. (I haven't done this yet), but there has been a lot of people post here that self-exclusion has worked for them. It has been recommended a lot of times here, and one you should consider (ie. self-exclusion)
3. Remove your access to cash. There are a few suggestions across this site, but if you can't access cash, you can't gamble it. (i.e. no cash and no access to it via credit cards, debit cards etc.)
4. Find something else to do that keeps you occupied, and not bored. Quite a few suggestions across this site also. I'm sure within the next 24 hours a few more will be posted for you to consider.

Good luck. Again most of all - don't think you're alone because you'll find you're clearly not, and there's a lot of people who will want to give you support, as I have found these last two weeks.

Peter
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby doug » Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:09 pm

Great Posts people
Doug who's the good dog?
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby K1 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:34 am

Hi Ansert

While reading your post I found myself saying "oh my gosh that sounds like me". It's really helpful to hear that another person can think and do the exact same things. I also cannot bring myself to tell my husband. I'm not sure how he would react. Like you, I am in charge of the finances and wish that was taken away from me. How does one broach the subject without good reason? We have just finished building a new home and I am hoping now that once the final invoices are paid I will run out of excuses for taking money out of our account. I have been adding costs onto invoices so that the balance can be spent on the pokies. I really hate the darn things but struggle to stay away. No amount of knowing that however much I win it will always 100% of the time go straight back in and I will leave the venue with $0 in hand. I used to watch people with a big win just keep playing until there was nothing left and wonder why they didn't just take it out after the big win. Now that is exactly what I do. I think being on this site and sharing thoughts and ideas will really help me. I hope that you have taken a few steps forward.

K
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby BriM » Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:48 am

K1 (30/04/2013)Hi Ansert

While reading your post I found myself saying "oh my gosh that sounds like me". It's really helpful to hear that another person can think and do the exact same things. I also cannot bring myself to tell my husband. I'm not sure how he would react. Like you, I am in charge of the finances and wish that was taken away from me. How does one broach the subject without good reason? We have just finished building a new home and I am hoping now that once the final invoices are paid I will run out of excuses for taking money out of our account. I have been adding costs onto invoices so that the balance can be spent on the pokies. I really hate the darn things but struggle to stay away. No amount of knowing that however much I win it will always 100% of the time go straight back in and I will leave the venue with $0 in hand. I used to watch people with a big win just keep playing until there was nothing left and wonder why they didn't just take it out after the big win. Now that is exactly what I do. I think being on this site and sharing thoughts and ideas will really help me. I hope that you have taken a few steps forward.

K


Hey K,

Thanks for your thoughts and welcome to our community We're all here to support each other, so feel free to contribute to as many discussions as you want!

Sorry to hear you're struggling with the secrets - would it be a possibility to talk to your husband about taking over the finances? In the interim, you might be able to have this conversation without talking about the gambling. Just a thought...

Also, you might want to have a look at this topic thread if you haven't already

http://forum.gamblinghelponline.org.au/350/Whats-the-best-way-to-talk-to-someone-you-love-about-your-gambling

Looking forward to hearing from you soon Congrats for taking the first step

Bri
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Loui » Wed May 01, 2013 12:07 pm

Strange, but when I had lots of money I never gambled probably because the Pokies were in NSW only, not in Vic.

I identify with your story - you still have enough money assets etc left to give you a false sense of security.

Itis like a government who spends, spends,s[ends when things are good in the economy and then finds itself with nothing when the crunch comes. Almost like what has happend in Europe. narrow that thought down to a single household, a single person and the effects are the same.

While you have ENOUGH you will not miss the money, but sounds as if the day is drawing near.



I know because I was wealthy, and it is a big shock to be poor and not able, too old to get back!

Good luck!!
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Loui » Wed May 01, 2013 12:18 pm

Hi Anserl

this sounds so typical related to stress and getting out of control. Describes me. I was in it for a week & relapsed 2 days ago. Now trying to kepp back on track.

I like the idea of putting the money into a no-touch twelve month fixed amount at the bank. Doing this every moth with the leftovers before you can get at them.
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby ansert » Wed May 01, 2013 11:25 pm

Different people, same stories, how comforting that is xx
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